Dream Journal
The following paper was submitted as an early draft of a mock white paper developed in my Scientific Communications course.




This is a literally compilation of all the dreams I've written down between 2001 and 2013 (plus a few from 1994-1995).  I don't actually keep a dream journal and never have.  However, I have compiled all the accounts of/references to my dreams from all my previous writings.  Most of these are from emails.  Only in more recent years (say 2011 or later) have I started writing down dreams just for the hell of it, and only really went into tremendous detail in the last year mainly for Leiann's amusement.

All the entries are fleshed out with annotations added recently.  The new text is in brackets.  Most of these notes simply explain where things came from.  I don't really do analysis, just context for the reader.  Additionally, since most of these entries are from emails, there are often preceded by the bit of text I was replying to.

I removed most of the names with the exception of my partner Dani's.  A lot of the "[A friend]" entries refer to different people.  I just didn't want to start labeling them Friend#1, #2, and so on since the identity wasn't relevant to conveying the dream.


5/7/01

[The comedy tv series] Sports Night is incredibly fast.  They are really good at alternating between silly and serious.  A couple times already I dreamt that I worked on the show and was involved in one of the plots.  It was wild. 

[Note: I got into this series when it was syndicated on Comedy Central after it was cancelled, so I was watching an episode five nights a week.  I've noticed that whenever I get into something where I'm more fully immersed in it, it shows up in my dreams.]

5/16/01

[A former student I became friends with],

I know how you feel about the yearbook.  I felt a lot like that too.  The year you were at the [school I taught at] was in stark contrast to how much better it ran the year before.  I dreamt the other night that I was working there again and I was freaked out (in the dream even).  I was like, I'm not going to get any research done for another year!

8/9/01

[A friend],

After staying awake for 24 hours in a row [I was running an experiment in grad school] I dreamt all kinds of weird stuff about you.  You had been stabbed by someone.  It had just happened, but I didn't see who did it) and I was trying to stop  the blood.  Then it got worse and your intestines started to fall out (ever see [the Silence of the Lambs sequel] Hannibal?  I think that was what prompted it).  On top of all this we were trying to keep this secret from your dad (who was a big scary guy based on neither your real nor step-dad).  I have no idea why.  Apparently we didn't have hospitals in this part of the dreamworld either since we didn't go to one.

This was the third dream I've had about you in about a month, though I can't remember having dreamt about you anytime before recently.  I don't remember the other two, but neither were anxiety-based dreams.  It's odd that I dream about you because I almost never dream about anyone I know.  I think part of that is the unfortunate fact that I can't remember what people look like.  I'm like a stroke victim or something.  That's a non-functioning piece of my brain.  I could describe someone (not necessarily correctly), but I can't picture them.

11/27/01

[To a neuroscience professor],

A couple thoughts about emotions:

1) You may recall I offered "embarrassment" as an emotion in class yesterday.  This came from something [a fellow grad student] told me the other day.  He had read someplace that humans (primates?) and dogs (all canines?) are the only animals that express shame or embarrassment (I think we can rule cats out immediately).  Has anyone acknowledged this in the literature as far as you know?  It would seem to me that if not, there are probably a number of cases in which lack of embarrassment (brazenness?) has been misinterpreted as an absence of fear or a deficit in planning via the frontal cortex.  Just a thought.

A quick anecdote:  One of my dogs was on the couch next to me the other day having of one of those classic "chase" dreams dogs always seem to have.  The dream must have been so intense he awoke from it believing he should continue the chase.  He darted halfway across the living room, stopped, realized what he had done and even how silly he looked, and slunk back to the couch, head hung low in an unmistakable gesture of embarrassment.  He didn’t want to talk about it either.

12/17/01

I’m finally finished with my finals and most of the other end-of-semester projects I’ve been locked into for so long now.  For several nights I didn’t get almost any sleep.  Those nights I did sleep were little 3 to 5 hour naps.  I felt really, really strange while I was awake and couldn’t sleep when I tried.  The cool thing was that I had all kinds of neat ideas during that time.  The problem was that I can’t remember any of them at all.  I have also been having a lot of really wild dreams lately.  I wake up convinced they are real, but confused by the fact that they don’t gel with reality.  For instance, I dreamt I went back to the area of Louisiana I lived in about 8 years ago and I witnessed a friend of mine (who is legitimately crazy, btw) go on a shooting rampage then kill himself.  I haven’t talked to this guy in all this time nor heard from anyone who would know him, but I couldn’t get it out of my head that he did all that.  I’m convinced I am dating a girl I taught a couple semesters ago and that we were extras in a house party scene (a la "American Pie") in a new teen tv show/movie.  I’m not making any of this up.

12/30/01

I started this message last night, so I ended up dreaming about you.  I dreamt that we were on this forest planet ruled by some evil overlord.  It was the early American pioneers in an Orwellian society.  Eventually an old man with wings turned out to be the alien who really was in charge of the planet and he freed everyone.  Also, I could walk upside-down on my hands and did so to see midnight movies every night.  They were always action movies and I sat in the balcony.  What does it all mean?!

8/12/02

This one girl I dream about every now and again (she works in the lab across the hall from me and we had a class together once) showed up in another dream.  In this dream she turned out to be single (maybe she is in reality?) and we started dating.  She was a huge Star Wars fan and we were at a film school that was putting together an epic production of a Star Wars movie, but everything they were doing looked really cheap for all the resources they had at their disposal.  Anyway, the girl (her name is Amy) had a bunch of tattoos of Japanese symbols and Star Wars vehicles all over her.  She flashed me to show me some of them (this part of the dream may have been based on the fact that a former student of mine emailed me a picture of her breasts to show off the fact that she had her nipples pierced).  Unfortunately the breasts in the dream weren't attractive.  This was probably based on the fact that her real breasts are relatively large for her slight frame.  They don't look bad, but that's just not my thing.

10/11/02

I had a bunch of weird dreams last night, probably as a result of sleeping for so long after wearing myself out yesterday (I run around the PetSmart parking lot to give the dogs some exercise throughout the day).  I dreamt that I worked in some futuristic society run by robots.  Curiously, I worked and lived in a barn where I had to inspect the robots before they were shipped out.  Some of them were life-sized while others were only a little larger than action figures (there was a whole army of them).  If they didn't pass the tests, I zapped them with a phaser and they all melted (they were made of plastic because it was cheaper).  Later, I dreamt that I moved in with my parents, who built a new house.  The only problem was that the only way you could get to my room was by climbing a ladder into the ceiling.  It was a nice room, but it was really annoying.  I just realized as I was writing this that the layout of the room was the attic of the house we had in [the house I lived in as a teenager].  Dreams are weird.

10/20/02

[Girl I dated briefly; we used to do these questionnaire things back and forth],

*Do you have any recurring dreams/nightmares?
That's weird that you have a major historical theme (costume drama?) running through your dreams.  It's also really specific compared to, say, the falling dream.  Mine are pretty specific as well, so you need a little background to get where I'm coming from.

If you've ever seen Rocky Horror in the theater (tape or dvd doesn't count), then you know it's a huge experience.  For me, it happened to be a "rite of passage" (which is what my dad labels it explicitly) because it was the first time I stayed out really late (I was in high school) and had to drive about 50 miles to see it.  We lived on the north side of Lake Pontchartrain, so we had to drive into New Orleans to see it.  We always went right after we had a party at a friend's house, so it was always an *event*.  We dragged the foreign exchange students along just to see what their reactions would be.  That was half as much fun as hearing whatever new lines the audience could come up with.  To date, I've probably seen it about a dozen times or more with an audience (and at least as many more on tape; for years I used to show it to prospective girlfriends as a barometer of what would freak them out). 

As a result of all of the above, I *still* dream every once in a while that I am going to the show, but it always ends up really weird, like the movie isn't playing or was moved to another theater or they're showing another movie entirely.  The last category is the coolest because my subconscious goes wild and comes up with something original instead of disappointing.  I've dreamt up several sequels to the original (no connection to the two other sequels Richard O'Brien wrote) and many more sci-fi/horror movies.  One of them had the aliens from "This Island Earth" (which I've never even seen) [I have seen it since I wrote this.  The aliens were called Metaluna Mutants] mixed in with the sets and lighting from the video for "Closer" by NIN.

Another recurring theme is my meeting a celebrity.  I dreamt I hung out with Eric Clapton at his house (which was a 3 bedroom built in the '70s... shyeah, right!).  He walked around in his boxers and an old t-shirt showing me some of his guitars and how to play some licks.  He had a bunch of kids running around too, which he completely ignored like a good suburban white trash dad should.  I also played in (former Pink Floyd bassist/songwriter/singer) Roger Waters' band at a several (imaginary) concerts.  Occasionally I will dream about a female celeb who I have seen in a movie or something, and I'll end up dating them (this has continued from before, throughout, and since my marriage).  I dated the "One time, at bandcamp" girl from American Pie.  Models do nothing for me, but dorky girls win me over every time if they can talk about anything besides D&D and Star Trek.

11/20/02

>Do you fly in your dreams?  What’s it like?
Yes, but so seldom.  I can get a running start, but I just glide for a little bit.  It's more an extrapolation of running and jumping than, say, Superman-style self-propelled flight.

12/1/02

[Different girl I dated],

Last night I dreamt that my ex and I had broken up at some point in the past, and now she was going to move out and take a lot of my things with her.  Gee, this would have been prophetic if I had dreamt it, oh, six months ago!

I should make a list of my recurring dreams and dream characteristics.  One of the strangest ones for me is not a particular presence, but an absence.  I almost never dream about real people.  Occasionally celebrities will turn up (recall earlier discussion), but more often they are characters from a movie or tv show.  Usually, I just make up a new cast every time from archetypes.

12/15/02

[Different girl I dated],

Last night was full of crazy dreams as a result of a combination of effects: When I go to bed really early after being worn out the day before, especially if I sleep for a long time, I have really intense dreams, the sorts of things that I would otherwise never dream.  Since we had been talking about my ex and I'm unloading all my junk on eBay, I dreamt that my ex and I were on the verge of splitting, but hadn't yet.  However, all of our stuff was packed and we were both getting ready to move out of the house, so almost every room was empty (even the ones that aren't empty in here right now).  Then she said she wanted to get back together, so I went through this emotional rollercoaster, and then she left anyway.  It was really messed up.

Then I dreamt that I found a secret hole in the bushes in the woods where I could hop on the subway.  Yeah, it was a crazy night.

1/7/03

Dani [my wife; we started dating around this time],

After listening to a bunch of Django Reinhardt cds and reading about the guitars he used to play, I ended up having a handful of dreams about them.  At one point I dreamt that I found one of them among things at my aunt's house.  In the same dream my mom bought me a variation on a Gretch Duo Jet that my brain just invented.  It looked more like a cross between an Italia and a D'Armond.  Later on in the same dream I found the other Django guitar (he played two different styles).  What does it all mean, Doctor?

1/10/03

[My ex; she and I were still emailing about selling our house during this],

Last night I dreamt that you told me that I was really mean.  I pointed out that I forward you all your mail and go out of my way to get your things to you, but you never tell me anything about [our dogs; she took them when we split up] even when I ask repeatedly.

1/25/03

Dani,

>Is there anything that has been stressing you out specifically - like the dream about Summer, anything that's come up in communication with your ex, etc.? 
No, but I had a series of crazy dreams about my ex for about a week after we went through my old photo albums.  Several of those were reconciliation scenarios, but a lot of the others were just us fighting or me confronting her.  I think I told you about the one in which she said I was mean and I pointed out all of the civilized things I had done for her while she had just been rude or ignored me by way of a response.  I emailed her a copy of that description and guilted her into telling me that the dogs were still alive.  Wow.  A victory.  Ha!

1/27/03

Dani,

One of the crazy dreams that I told you about last night (that I had the night before) was with [girl I dated right before her].  I dreamt that I ran into her at the mall/[museum she worked at] (they were combined in my dream).  We started talking, then she started crying when I told her about you.  Okay, that's pretty unlikely in reality since it was a mutual "break-up," but I still never felt good about it since it was one of those drift-apart kind of splits.  Granted, I don't usually strive for knock-down, drag-out fight-style break-ups, but that's just how I feel (hey, did you notice I put four hyphenated words in a row back there?  Wow!).

5/27/03

Dani,

I had a dream years ago that I was in the future in a highrise out of Blade Runner, and I thought it was the coolest image ever.  [I didn't write this one down anywhere, but it was one of the most intensely cinematic dreams I've ever had.  It was more than fifteen years ago, but I still remember it vividly.  It was set in the future by perhaps a hundred years or so, and I lived in a very glossy highrise building.  It was late in the evening, and out of the window from so high up we had a panoramic view of the city, which extended outward for as far as one could see.  My apartment was spacious and filled with modern furniture and devices.  I was with a girl I was friends with around the time I had the dream, but we were both adults.  At the time I knew her, I was 20 and she was only 15.  Her mom and I were friends and actually encouraged me to date her, but I didn't like the idea of getting involved with someone that young for all the obvious reasons.  In the dream we were now much older and involved, and it was a very laconic romantic scene.  Just standing there quietly holding one another and kissing while the soundtrack to Blade Runner played.  The surprising thing was how accurately my mind copied the style of the music without actually playing a piece from the film.]

6/27/03

Dani,

Last night I dreamt about your mom giving me her silent treatment.  In the dream we were working in the garage (although it was a lot cleaner than in reality; you could see the back wall, for one thing).  You asked your mom a question and she answered you right off.  Then I asked her something and she just went on with whatever she was doing.  You asked her something else and again got an immediate answer.  Normally this might be considered a textbook example of an anxiety dream, that a situation was either metaphorical or exaggerated, but I don't feel that the dream differed so much from reality except that the garage was cleaner.  [Their garage really was a disaster.  Somewhere around this time I went through and cleaned the place.]

7/14/03

Dani,

Last night I dreamt that I had sex with Charlie's Angels.  I can't remember which, but I know I did it twice with one and once with another.  I couldn't come the third time I tried.

7/17/03

Dani,

I dreamt that I was at Rocky Horror with you.  There was another dream about guitars, but that's it.  You would think that I would dream about chess or just about anything else I have been reading, but no.  [I was reading about how to play chess for a while.]

8/12/03

Dani,

I had some crazy dreams last night.  I dreamt that someone stole my car, but I couldn't remember where I was when I left it: In Texas at your house or in Florida.  [Note: I have no connection to FL.  That was completely arbitrary.]  So I ended up stranded in Florida and hitched a ride on a plane.  Then, when I got back to your place, Ashleigh [our neighbor] tried to say I had been cheating on you, but everyone knew better because I had been in Florida.  Then a girl I knew from my first couple years in college moved in to your old place and we hung out together.  Well, somehow I ended up traveling around with some rich, older lady and hanging out at her place, but then the apocalypse started.  We tried to eat everything before the zombies came around.   After that we drove endlessly looking for safety from the hungry people and zombies.  We drove through the woods and the lamb we were trying to save and raise for meat jumped out of the jeep and was immediately devoured by hungry snakes and a griffin.  We all shrugged and went back to reading.  One guy was reading a medical manual proffered to him by the 8-month-pregnant girl who wasn't sure who was going to be able to deliver her baby.

8/18/03

Dani,

I had crazy dreams a little while ago that weird things had happened around my house (which was a combination of your duplex and my present residence).  Things were moving around, disappearing, and otherwise changing.  There were dogs that would come and go through my house and destroy things.  It was completely nuts.  Eventually I found out that you and your dad were doing it all as a prank to get me back for rearranging the garage.  [This was the garage clean-up I mentioned above.]  When you were straightening up, we discovered that my Steinberger [guitar] had been underneath a pile of rubble and the it was completely waterlogged (that's how bad a mess it was in by the end of the chaos).  The finish was completely taken off the guitar; I was so upset, I was crying (somehow I wasn't concerned about the electronics).

9/25/03

Dani,

>Barry [a high school friend who committed suicide]... I've had a couple of dreams lately that he was in. 
I've never had a friend kill him/herself, but I had a few friends disappear when I didn't have a chance to say goodbye, and they used to turn up a lot in my dreams.  For example, this one guy named Scott I used to ride the bus with was really cool.  We didn't hang out together anywhere else, but he was very intelligent compared to the rest of the gang I was around, so I enjoyed having someone to converse with about sci-fi books and stuff.  I forgot the circumstances now why he moved without me really finding out much about him, but it was kind of abrupt from my perspective, so I used to dream every so often that I ran into him and we got to hang out and catch up.  He's the first person who comes to mind (which is surprising considering I haven't thought about him in years and actually had to work at getting his name back), but I have had similar dreams about a number of other people.

10/7/03

>Tell me some of your all-time favorite movies. Why do you like them?
3. Fight Club- [Discussion about the movie deleted to get to the part about the dreams.]
For months after I first saw the movie, I used to dream Fight Club style plots and used the multiple character disorder plot device, sometimes in very interesting ways.  For example, I had one dream where I had a small army of experts in my head.  They would swap who was dominant as was necessary and fight Kung Fu style or whatever worked at the moment. 

10/12/03

Dani,

>I still have this uncontrollable urge to shriek when I see a cockroach zooming across the floor.
This is pretty silly given that a bug can't harm you in any real way.  Another "phobia" I used to have is snakes.  However, this isn't irrational (e.g., I don't recoil from photographs or captured specimens).  I grew up encountering poisonous snakes, and there was always a danger that I might walk across one.  In fact, last week I was on my bike waiting for traffic to pass, and a plastic bag blew past, dragging across the concrete.  It was just outside my field of vision, and it sounded exactly like movement in dry leaves.  Once you experience that and find it's a snake, you don't quickly forget that sound.  I looked really quickly even though I was in the middle of suburbia (then again, even when we lived in New Orleans, we had snakes in our back yard periodically).  I used to have anxiety dreams where there were snakes everywhere I stepped and I just couldn't get away from them.  Sometimes it felt like that in [the country when I was a teenager].  You literally had to watch each and every step you took.

10/15/03

Dani,

The other night I dreamt that I had the letter "R" and I was going to use it responsibly to rid the world of evil.  I woke up with this thought, and all my energy left me when I found that I no longer had my "R."

11/13/03

>resident evil
I have wanted to see this since it first came out, but I never have gotten around to it.  However, I had a cool dream a while back that probably blows to movie away.  It was Milla J. running around some huge alien spaceship killing all sorts of monsters (I don't know if they were supposed to be supernatural or not).  Everything was cavernous throughout the ship, and all the lights were just weird and wild.  It was very atmospheric.  I never cease to be amazed at the amazing things my unconscious mind can come up with to entertain me.

11/23/03

Dani,

Last night I had the craziest dreams.  My ex was in some of them at one point, but I couldn't tell you what all that was about because it didn't make much sense.  I think we were trying to catch weird insects.  She caught this one giant bee that was bigger than a guinea pig and we pulled all sorts of stingers out of it.

Then I started having Star Wars dreams where things picked up with Episode VII.  The original group was back: Luke, Han, and Leia.  Luke was a full Jedi and was running around on a space station trying to save Han.  The Rebels (now the guys in power) thought he was a traitor, and only Luke knew better.  Bounty hunters were after the two of them. 

Later in the dream I jumped to the beginning of the movie where the characters are introduced.  Han and Leia lived at my old house in [the country].  They had retired after the Rebellion.  I was actually a character in this part, and I was waiting for them to arrive at their home.  Han and Leia returned on the Falcon, then their kids showed up, a 14 year-old boy and 8 year-old twins: a boy and girl... which I believe is exactly what they had in the novels and comic books.  The kids had cooler vehicles than the Falcon, more like small fighters, highly maneuverable, which they flew around the back yard before they landed.  I can't remember much more of the dream than that, although there were many more scenes.

11/26/03

Dani,

Your dad came over around 9 this morning and fed the cats.  I was still sleeping when he arrived (I was up late alternating between talk shows and the Hulk... which was awful!).  He took me out of some really neat dreams.  I have this one where I was in the airport and saw a 5 or 6 year old kid pull out a bag of vintage Star Wars figures.  I went over and was looking through them for any "finds" (e.g., the BLUE Snaggletooth).  Somehow I ended up hanging out with this super-rich 10-year old kid who had so many Star Wars toys that he had a room three times the size of your living room and with a 15 foot ceiling.  He had Star Wars toys that would iiinever have been produced for their cost, like a playset of the Endor base that the shield generator is on (you only see it in a few shots; that's where Luke surrenders to Vader and they take the shuttle to the Death Star II to meet the Emperor) and another one of the original Death Star that was at least 7 levels high and probably four feet wide and at least 2 feet thick.  It was amazing!

12/8/03

I had an awesome Star Wars dream last night.  Dani and I slept like 12 hours or so, and that's the best way to get really involved dreams.  Couple that with the fact that I don't know much about the next SW film, and you have the makings for something interesting.  In my dream, I was Anakin sometimes and an observer other times, so it was kind of hard to follow, but the gist was that the Empire was continuing to grow to the point where all of Coruscant was completely in the thrall of the Dark Side, not just political graft.  The planet was like a huge cult of the Emperor's adviser guys you see for about 5 seconds in iiiReturn of the Jedi when he arrives with his guards.  In my dream, the Jedi army (more like a commando group, actually) covertly landed in the Emperor's stronghold and we were going to try to cut this cancer out of the galaxy.  As Anakin, I went in and tried to slash these evil guys in this courtyard of aliens and Sith-lings, but my saber would only hit them like a roll of cardboard.  Apparently the Force was no longer strong enough in this place, so the Jedi army couldn't do anything and had to retreat.  The dream got screwy at this point because Vader was already present as an adult and separate character while Anakin was still a teenager.  Vader hypnotized Anakin and some Jedi girlfriend of his as well as 3 or 4 other minor characters and turned them into zombies who they could brainwash.  However (and the "film" cuts to another scene here), the rest of the good guys had escaped to Tatooine where, as the scene starts C-3PO is reenacting the scene from iiiEmpire where Chewie is choking Lando, only 3PO is choking Obi-Wan because they left R2 in the Sith stronghold.  It turns out that the good guys planned this from the beginning, and R2 is there to help them rescue Anakin and destroy the Emperor (à la Lando at Jabba's palace?).  There were other new characters there as well as Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru (who were now inexplicably at an intermediate age between AotC and ANH), but I woke up before the story proceeded.  I usually don't have every involved plot developments, so this was pretty cool to discover.

1/13/04

Dani,

I talked for a good long while about all sorts of science stuff with [a female professor] yesterday.  It was a pretty good conversation, and I ragged on her husband a little bit, which she was okay with.  I used to joke about having the hots for her (maybe in another lifetime... iiisigh), but last night I had really hot dreams about her.  It was, as usual, completely crazy, so I don't even know where it all began, but you and I went over to her house... which, naturally, wasn't her house, but was instead some fancy house from the future.  She was making food for a party which never materialized in the dream.  We were hanging out in the kitchen and you were falling asleep on the couch (yes, it was in the kitchen for some reason), so she started putting the moves on me.  You woke up and thought it was hot, so you watched while pretending to sleep.  Later, I was going out to my car by myself to go home (it was morning by now; I think you were going to take a separate car) and [the professor] and I just totally started getting it on to the point where I had my hands up her shirt and was all on top of her in the backseat.  It was awesome!  I mean, I almost never have sex dreams, and this was pretty hot.

[Later reply to that...]

>Why couldn't you just fake it and tell me that the dream was about ME?! 
She had (and has) larger breasts!  She was also probably 10+ years younger and was much more emotive, so technically it was hardly her at all.  In fact, the later parts of the dream were from iiiTerminator 3, where the robots were coming to take over the city, so we had to evacuate.

8/25/04

Did you start keeping a dream diary?  I always wanted to do that, but I only tried once, back when I was in high school and didn't have a modern computer or word processor.  The thing is that writing dreams down is really hard work if you're going to be complete about it or have them make sense.  You have to explain why things are happening as they are in this alien universe, since the normal assumptions about cause and effect don't necessarily hold up.  Since we got back from Colorado I have been wanting to write down the dream I had about the "prequel" to "The Perfect Storm," but I've never found the time.  I think it would make a funny story, especially given that the premise makes no sense as a prequel.  Unfortunately, I've forgotten so much of it that I couldn't reconstruct it.

9/14/04

Dani,

>Do you know anyone famous?
No.  I used to dream that I would meet various "heroes" of mine though.  We were always sort of "buddies" in the dream.  It was like we were close even though they were still superstars.  For example, I dreamt I met Eric Clapton and hung out at his house.  He showed me how to play a few licks that I couldn't pick out on my own (e.g., some of the ones he played at the SRV tribute show).  Another time I dreamt that I was helping Roger Waters set up this huge concert in a giant arena.  It was like we were partners in the whole thing; he wasn't the ego maniac he's famous for being.

9/19/04

Dani,

>I have to tell you about my dream. 
That's funny; I had a really intense one (or more) last night as well.  We were exploring this huge canyon in the middle of a city and found things like old cannons from 200 years or more ago.  There were tunnels that fed into the canyon, but we couldn't find an easy way to access them so we just followed them from above ground.  It was really wild stuff.

10/13/04

Dani,

I took a nap earlier and had a really wild dream.  Everything that I had experienced in the previous few hours was incorporated into a holistic scheme.  I had been talking to Ben [a guy I knew who was obsessed with paranormal/ghost hunting] about orbs (as well as writing the bit earlier in this message), then reading things by Robert Anton Wilson [philosopher/author] about all of the things he is interested in, then looking over the urbex [urban exploration] site, and finally reading a comic book about the end of the world foretold by alien beings that said humans would evolve into something cosmic.  In my dream I somehow became the next Robert Anton Wilson and my consciousness wandered with the orbs through all sorts of tunnels underneath the moon.  It was more involved than that, but I can't reconstruct it all now.

10/15/04

[A friend],

>I had a dream last night about zombies attacking the city.
I have had a few of these, even when I hadn't seen any "Dawn of the Dead" sort of movies in a long while.  Usually I have more of the "Omega Man" kind of dreams where I'm the last one on earth.  Everything is peaceful and the few of us who are left (if anyone else is present) are just waiting for something to happen.  This sounds a lot like the "Left Behind" storyline, come to think of it.  Joseph Campbell would probably say that this motif is something hardwired and that people share it enough to have many of them immediately buy into the idea of the Rapture.  Actually, "the Rapture" was an interesting movie.  I mean, you don't have to be Catholic to think "the Exorcist" was cool.

1/8/05

[A friend],

>I also dream about being chased.
My most recurring dream lately touches on this.  In case you never saw this section on my site, Dani and I (and a handful of friend sometimes as well) go exploring in drainage systems beneath the city.  It's something I've never outgrown, and in my dreams, I'm always finding my way into strange places like the insides of secret military complexes.  Almost invariably, I'm discovered and have to bolt for the escape.  Fortunately, I always get away in my dreams.

>I have actually had a dream where I aided in the surgical removal of a bullet. It was amazing.
Some of the things our subconscious comes up with defy easy explanation.  For example, because I'm such a movie nut, I'll sometimes dream about a movie that I haven't seen yet, and it will totally blow away the actual film.  Naturally, I have a bigger budget for special effects and set design in my brain, but even the premise or the plots are sometimes very original... and yet they're completely beyond what I would ever think up on my own while I was awake.

>I have had alot of sex dreams to the point of cumming but my body wouldn't let me. Still felt good and I still woke up wet. I love those kind of dreams.
I wish I had more erotic dreams.  It's funny that we go against gender stereotypes in this regard, but I dream a lot about finding the "perfect" woman, and I've done this since at least high school.  She's always different, but there are certain commonalities.  However, all that seems to be central is that we immediately know we're made for one another and fall in love right from the start.  It's so certain that we basically begin thinking about how we're going to bring our lives together and move forward.  Is that weird or what?  I always wake up feeling good but with a sense of loss because it wasn't real.  This is in spite of the fact that I'm with the perfect girl for me right now.

1/10/05

[A friend],

>I dream about my death a lot. I have died so many ways.
That's supposed to be a rarity.  I remember having dreams where I knew I was going to die and it was relatively imminent (e.g., from cancer, not at gunpoint), but it never happened.

3/17/05

[A friend],

I had a late night and only just got up, but I think my subject line inspired the first part of a huge bunch of crazy dreams.  This included me taking part in some sort of "Temptation Island" show with all these other couples.  I think I was supposed to be in a couple too, but no one really seemed to be paired up with anyone else.  It wasn't clear what the "rules" were either.  Everyone just flirted with everyone else and there was a lot of flashing and strip teasing going on, but it was all really casual.  No one ever saw any action, although one guy got pissed about something and he stormed off.  A couple girls went after him to say that nothing was going on between his girlfriend (whichever one she was?) and anyone else, but that was the extent of the drama.

Mostly everyone was sunbathing and trying to look good for one another (and presumably the cameras as well, although I didn't actually dream up the presence of any), but at one point we all went off into the woods (?!) to go swimming in a pond (which some of them did) or to play around in a row boat (which I did with some other guy there; I guess because I was talking about canoeing yesterday [We used to rent canoes to explore tunnels]).  Somehow I ended up finding this fruit tree covered with these little yellow apples in bunches almost like plum-sized grapes.  I asked if anyone else had tried one (biblical metaphor?), and no one had.  Some of them were rotten and filled with bugs (I think this was prompted by a commercial involving millions of ants that I saw on tv last night at a restaurant; we had no idea what was going on with the sound turned down).

Somehow the fruit indicated something supernatural, and suddenly we're exploring this giant ruined building (yeah, in the middle of the woods) that was based off of an abandoned building full of racquetball court at LSU that we used to sneak into when I was there (You could play guitar in the place and the echo would last forever).  This ended up turning into a giant grocery store that only had enough items for sale to fill a 7-11.  I saw a lady taking inventory (which probably would have taken all of five minutes), so I asked her what was going on.  She said that the place was infested by "fox people" that would come out of the walls at night and steal the food.  Apparently these were like American leprechauns, only they were genuinely feral.

In spite of this, the store was kind of a social hang-out as well, and Will Smith and some other guy (no, not Martin Lawrence) were sitting on an empty row of shelves at the front and talking to people as they came in.  I talked to them at a couple points in the dream (no one seemed to recognize Will Smith since he had gotten really fat and wasn't wearing any make-up), but the second time the other guy was all mad and looked like he was on the verge of tears.  I asked him what was wrong and he said that the store manager pulled him aside and yelled at him for being drunk while he was hanging out there.  In this alternate reality, it was okay to loiter so long as you're sober.

The story shifted at that point, and it turned out that one of the guys from the reality show group was a bully who was picking on kids.  I magically ended up with a plastic kid's baseball bat, and that was to be my instrument of swift justice.  Unfortunately, I never found the guy, and before long I was trying to find my way home.  Again, I was wandering through the woods and ended up at the house where I spent my teenage years in rural Louisiana.  For some reason I thought my dad lived there (and, no, I don't have abandonment issues; I just talked to him on the phone yesterday about getting my cousin to do my taxes), so I go up to the place and find that some twenty-somethings are living there.  They say he's through the woods down a trail (which really existed back when we lived there, but I've been back since then --just last xmas, in fact-- and found that it's overgrown now).

In spite of this fantastical development, I end up at my parents' house and seemed to be there to stay.  (Ironically, this is *exactly* the same house as the one in the woods that I visited on the way here.  [While driving home to visit my parents, I stopped off and explored an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere.])  The only problem is that I'm supposed to still be in college and I find that I'm skipping classes by living at home several hundred miles from school (which, for some reason, never occurred to me up until then).  I go into a panic about the fact that I've missed an exam in a math class and I have no idea what's going on in another of my classes, so I'm trying to read tons of material while my folks and my ex wife (who is suddenly living there with me!) keep bugging me to get something to eat.

And then Dani called and woke me up to ask if I could pick up some groceries so we'll have something to feed the friends (and their kids) who are coming over tonight.

3/18/05

[A friend],

>I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was in a literature class reading this fantastic story about good people...I know it sounds lame, but somehow, in this story it became cool to be good, I mean really deep, and the students were so enthralled with the story that they all set out be do-gooders.
I've had a few of these.  I like these really cosmic dreams where a single idea becomes the central focus that you think will change the world.  I'm generally an optimistic person, otherwise I wouldn't be writing people to get them to write intelligent profiles [I used to tease people on MySpace if they had a lame profile, particularly if they featured any clichés of the site], so I know where you're coming from with that one.

7/26/05

[A friend],

>I almost never dream about people I really know, either. Only a few times in my entire life.
I wouldn't say I never do, but it's the exception.  For example, last night I dreamt that I was in a live-action version of the original Robotech series with some (inevitable) elements of Star Wars thrown in.  It didn't make a lot of sense, but I had a fancy bow and set of special arrows that I used to fight aliens that were landing in our city on the SFD-1 spaceship.  I was friends with Han Solo's son also (he even wore the black vest) and we were fighting aliens at an arcade.  It was just nuts.

8/2/05

Dani,

>I hope all is well with you and you're getting less stressed about starting work.
Not too much stress, although I've had a number of anxiety dreams.  For example, last night I dreamt that I had a job at Circuit City (the electronics store).  I had only been there for one day of training (much like I had in real life with school), but then I couldn't remember which store I worked at or how I got there (which sort of made sense because I just made up that particular store in my head).  Then, when I was trying to get dressed to go to work, I found that my dress shirt was too small and it ripped right up the back.  Anxiety!

9/5/05

[A friend],

I had this crazy Star Wars dream that juxtaposed elements from several different episodes in ways that didn't make any sense and then some!  Specifically, there were two groups of characters running around in some industrial type complex, basically like an abandoned building like I am wont to explore from time to time.  One group consisted of bad guys such as the emperor, Jango Fett, and some other villains, while the good guys included (believe it or not) Chancellor Palpatine (aka the emperor), Boba Fett (from Empire Strikes Back; yes, I know he's a bad guy too), and several others.  The obvious guys like Luke or Vader weren't among either group. 

Oddly enough, a little later in the dream I was somehow aboard the Millennium Falcon with several of the "good guys" (a different group this time), and I also somehow knew this was a movie... and apparently yet another part of the saga.  The weirdest thing was that this time Chewbacca wasn't talking in wookie language; he was actually speaking.  And the worst part of it was that he talked like Dan Ackroid or John Belluci.  He was narrating what he was doing and acting all cocky.  In other words, he was an obnoxious version of Han Solo (who, in fact, was nowhere to be found).  I remember thinking to myself, "I can't believe they made this change to the series.  The fans are going to be pissed!"

9/14/05

[A friend],

>Any idea where the bizarre dream came from?
I'm better at most people at figuring out where things came from in my dreams.  I will usually remember things that happened the day before and see how it triggered something.  Of course, I'm only seeing how particular elements originated.  I'm always fascinated at the ability of my unconscious mind to generate things that are so much more detailed and original than I could come up with consciously, especially since my dreams weave everything together all at once.

9/23/05

[A friend],

>Yeah, my dreams aren't too obscure.
Mine aren't in terms of their meaning, but they are sometimes so original that I think the images belong to someone else.

>...they're like little interactive movies - horribly unrealistic in the sense that they always have happy endings.
One of the recurring dreams I have with happy endings is that I find the *perfect* girl for me.  She never looks the same from one dream like that to the next, but I always fall completely in love with her and she for me, but it isn't always a happy ending.  It's more like I've just gotten started with something that will now be sort of complicated, like I have to start reorganizing my life.

A lot of the really cool dreams I've had even in my childhood had things wrong with them.  For example, I had one when I was in elementary school where I had my own lightsaber.  It was real, but it didn't work very well.  It would keep cutting out and didn't always turn on.  In the dream I was just showing it to friends (not fighting Darth Vader), so it was kind of embarrassing.

Similarly, I dreamt once (also when I was in elementary school) that I and a couple of my friends had angel wings.  We were trying to fly with them, but all we could do was to get a running start and glide for a short stretch at a time, maybe 2 or 3 hundred feet and only about 50 feet up.  Still, it was really cool.

>And then I'll go for months having only one kind of dream
I haven't had this experience.  They're all quite different; only the themes or central features are the same, but never the "plot" or characters.

> - every night someone is trying to kill me and I have to escape. Sometimes they do kill me. Sometimes I kill them. Somebody usually dies in those.
My understanding is that this is thought to only occur in deeply disturbed people.  I don't know whether to disregard this generalization or to really, really worry about you.

When I was a kid, there were several dreams I had in which I was going to die.  I never actually did in any of them, however.  The one I remember was me wandering around and trying to get funeral services arranged.  I was maybe 8 or so, so I had no idea what this involved.  As a result, the dream didn't make a lot of sense to describe.  For example, at one point I bought yams from a guy selling them from a bucket as he walked the streets around my elementary school.  Apparently, this was required for the funeral.  See, I told you it wouldn't make any sense.

3/13/06

For years now I've had recurring dreams (which always look different, but same plot) in which I find a secret tunnel that invariably leads into some sort of X-Files type of government lab.  I sneak around and am almost caught, but I escape back out the tunnel again.  I have no idea where this comes from.  Nothing like this has ever happened in real life, but I think the dreams impel me to continue the search.  Or maybe they are just a reflection of something intrinsic that inspires the dreams.  Who knows.

6/22/06

I have a handful of recurring dreams.  Probably the theme I've had the most recently has been about exploring places.  I dream that I find large abandoned houses or factories or tunnels that lead into places like giant military complexes.  They wouldn't mean much to anyone without a sense of adventure.

7/4/06

I had some really terrific dreams a couple nights ago.  Earlier that day I had read a Star Wars comic bok I ran across at the library.  It's this interesting series called "Infinities" where they explore parallel universes where the stories of the Star Wars saga were twisted around and ended up completely different.  In this one, the first movie ends where Luke's torpedo doesn't blow up the Death Star.  They have to retreat, and Yavin is blown up.  Han and Luke think that Leia was killed, but she managed to get off the planet, only to be captured by Vader (something she's really, really good at, of course).

Luke goes to Dagobah to train with Yoda while Han and Chewie continue on as smugglers.  Leia is brought before the Emperor.  She hates him, but Vader tempts her with the same plan as he put to Luke: that they would take over the Empire from Palpatine.  She trains under him for the next few years while Luke continues with his training, each thinking the other was killed.

Five years pass, and Han finally returns to Dagobah to pick up Luke.  Han has seen video footage of Leia being elevated to one of the top positions in the Empire.  He freaks and tells Luke about it.  Yoda reveals the relationship between Luke and Leia and Vader before the heroes head for Coruscant.  They fly the Millenium Falcon into the Death Star (now christened the Justice Star and in orbit of Coruscant), and Yoda uses his mind tricks to take control of the Death/Justice Star while the Falcon continues on to Coruscant below where Chewie drops off Han and Luke.

The two heroes confront Leia, Vader, and the Emperor.  Leia is goaded into fighting Luke, but Luke reveals the relationships.  Vader is shocked to learn the Emperor had kept this information from him (which was why he had pursued Leia earlier in the story), and he fights off the Emperor.  The "family" escape just as Yoda crashes the entire Death Star into the Emperor's palace, killing both of them (and probably thousands more in addition to the thousands Yoda killed earlier using the Death Star to destroy the Imperial fleet).  The end is pretty much the same though where Vader is too weakened from his fight, so he takes off his helmet before he dies.

Anyway, long story, but I thought it was an interesting twist (especially given my disappointment with RotJ).  The night after I read it, I dreamt that I was Luke and that Vader and I were storming the Emperor's palace to rescue Leia.  In my version, Vader had turned to good again earlier somehow, and Leia was still good.  The Emperor was the only bad guy left, but the Empire was fairly strong.  Vader and I went in with just a couple light sabers and just started fighting bad guys like crazy.

There wasn't much substance to the dream, but it was exceptional for me in a number of ways.  For one thing, I rarely have "name brands" in my dreams.  Things are usually jumbled around from a variety of influences.  I almost never see fully-formed characters in their original incarnations.  I also got the lightsaber to work.  Things rarely work properly in my dreams.  Either they never work or they do things that are unexpected.  It was a really weird dream.

7/12/06

[A friend],

>I had a terrible dream last night about muslim men in a group spanking this woman, who was dressed like she was from Saudi Arabia.  In retrospect, it was like watching a bad porn clip but it felt like a horrible nightmare.  
It's weird how dreams can be like that.  I remember having a dream years ago [sometime around 1995] where I was in some sort of cult.  I didn't want to be a member, so they killed some woman and (somehow) it was going to be pinned on me if I left the group.  I woke up feeling terrible and the feeling stayed with me all day.

7/16/06

[A friend],

>A current [dream] theme for me are modern day apocalypse mixed with holocaust killing scenes. 
Like violent scenes?  I usually dream post-apocalyptic things that are more like the "Omega Man" scenario where I'm the last man on earth (or there are only a very few people left, maybe ~1% of the population or so).  It's like the rapture or something.

I had a couple crazy dreams last night.  Did you see "Stealth"?  I dreamt that Jamie Foxx's character was played by Will Smith (only he still looked like Jamie Foxx).  He was in love with Jessica Biel's character.  There was some scene where he was preaching to a bunch of guys about how he's going to steal Jessica and she overheard him and tried to get away on one of the planes.  Somewhere during the course of the dream I ended up with her topless.  She was lamenting her small breasts and I told her I liked them.  Then I ended up flying around on one of the planes and even flying it underwater which was pretty cool (if completely unbelievable) and I shot off a few missiles just to make the water splash like in the movie.  I had another dream later where I was walking my neighbor home from somewhere.  She was drunk so she was sort of tipsy and really flirty.  I think she flashed me or something and I pinched her nipple afterwards.  Why the breast dreams all of a sudden?

10/13/06

A dream I had:

Christopher (the guy with the nose) from "The Sopranos" is ambushed and caught in his own home by some heroine dealers and forced to negotiate with them to let them deal on the Soprano's turf.  He resists them, so they shoot him full of heroine.  This has the opposite effect as intended, however, as Christopher is actually a junky and needed a fix.  Now Christopher is suddenly a wheeler-dealer.  He begins speaking so articulately about complex economic principles that the heroine ring have to follow what he says to do or he'll use his John Nash-like math abilities to drive them out of business with just the power of his Nobel Prize-worthy mind.

The heroine dealers turn him loose, but they stay in his house, locking themselves inside.  They may have lost this round, but they're going to squat on the property until they can gain the upper hand again.  This leads Christopher to bring Tony Soprano in on the situation.  Tony sends out a bulletin on MySpace to call over there via his calling card (he posts the number) and to annoy the fuck out of these guys.  I give them a call (because apparently Tony's on my friends list?!), and I bug them until they hang up and block my number.

Next, one of Tony's cousins is brought in.  She's a mutant who is part wolverine (Yeah, I wonder where I got that idea from), and she sneaks along the side of the house looking for an entrance.  Meanwhile, another one of the family's allies comes in, a girl who has the ability to make ghosts appear (whether by conjuring spirits or just causing hallucinations, I'm not sure; I didn't look up her profile).  The "ghosts" inside the house scare the fuck out of the heroine gang, so they run out the front door of the house without even checking if it's safe.  As it turns out that's where Tony and the boys have been waiting, and they finally bust them.

The End.

[A response to that after the above was posted on MySpace]

>Can I have some of the drugs you're on? ;-)
Heh, I don't know where that dream came from.  I only have intense ones like that when I manage to sleep a long time, which is what happened in this case.  I had also recently watched a dvd of the Sopranos, and Christopher had just gotten out of rehab.  However, the X-men and supernatural elements were kind of out of nowhere (maybe because of the commercials for the new dvd? I don't know; I haven't actually seen the movie).  More surprisingly, most of my dreams lack a plot, but this one flowed in a logical way with interesting turnabouts.

I was having a pretty good one this morning that involved the doctor from "Lost" on some kind of a quest from out of a video game.  It was a lot more interesting than that, but my partner put our hyper and asthmatic (bad combination) foster pug into the bed with me and I was awakened by this wheezing little fat dog tramping across me.  Damn.  No tv-themed follow-up dream bulletin for next week.

10/15/06

[A friend],

>I have fucked up dreams all the time myself. A lot of mine are recurring, but don't have any plot or anything. They're like an acid trip that I've been on over and over. Weird.
Do you have any exploring dreams?  My recurring one in that category is always completely different in details, but the synopsis is essentially the same: I go into a tunnel through a secret entrance (like maybe it's hidden in a remote field or there's an inconspicuous hatchway behind some buildings).  My friends and I make our way through the tunnel until we are able to exit inside some sort of secret complex (an aircraft hanger or a factory, for example, apparently involved in a nefarious scheme by a villain from a James Bond film) and sneak around in there for a while.  Then, unexpectedly, we are discovered by someone at the place and are forced to run off.  Of course, we are privy to the existence of the secret tunnel, so we managed to get into that during the chase, and the guards never catch up to us.  The whole dream is usually very vague in terms of which friends of mine are with me, why the tunnel is there, the specific purpose of the complex, etc.

10/20/06

Another dream I had:

I was one of the engineers involved in designing one of the largest battleships ever built.  It was up in dry dock, but was getting ready to be let out to sea.  We had to lower the ship from chains, which had to manually be unjacked (jacked down?) from (only!) four points.  The sea was getting rough, so we were trying to get it released quickly, but the mechanism kept getting jammed.

I decided to get everyone motivated.  I told them that I just heard on the news that there was an alien invasion on its way across the ocean (why they wouldn't attack from behind the moon instead like any normal alien invasion, I don't know).  Everyone started scrambling around like crazy at that point, and they finally got the ship into the water... presumably after an enemy who wasn't there.

After that, I left the giant hanger where the ship was constructed, and I walked down the street where I was picked up by George Bush.  He looked really old, but he was actually pretty funny (obviously this was a dream because he was making jokes that would go over his head in reality).  "You're a really likeable guy, but I don't agree with you on anything in your policies," I told him.  He didn't seem terribly bothered by that (much like the real guy, come to think of it), and I got out a few blocks later.

We had been driving through a crowded region downtown somewhere, like maybe San Francisco (only much flatter), and there was some sort of street festival going on.  There as an exhibition by real(?!) ghosts who looked like something out of Disney World's "Haunted House" ride.  They were doing some sort of a dance where they would disappear into the pavement and come up again.  They weren't really trying to be scary though, and were in fact coordinating their various monochrome color schemes (e.g., pale yellow, light orange, for faded light green) to make the dance more symmetrical.

I went a little further down the street, and there was a section where you could meet movie and tv celebs who were just assigned a spot along the wall in this one area.  Oddly enough, they were hardly swamped with visitors and admirers, so they were competing for attention.  Bill Murray was trying to get me to listen to a routine while Jon Stewart was narrating the scene as though for a news story.  The genuinely funny celebrities were taking advantage of the situation and were doing improv sketch comedy while the no-talent actors didn't have a script to tell them what to say just stayed back away from everyone.  Julia Roberts, for example, sat around like a bump on a log.

In the next building over, there was another arrangement of celebs like before, only in this one they were selling things.  For instance, J.Lo was selling used books.  She was all really serious though (I think she was my take on a friend of mine's girlfriend who resents it when she tries to tell a story seriously and we all have to jump in and flesh out the humorous elements that she's completely glossing over).  J.Lo. tried to give me this book on nudity in film.  I was like, "Uh, no thanks.  I'm an expert on that," and reminded her I saw her naked in "Desperado."  (Yes, I know that was actually Salma Hayek, but my sleeping brain doesn't distinguish among members of my mental file of "Latin Women Who Annoy Me.")  She tried to push another couple books on me, and I moved on.

Back outside I ended up at some kind of assortment of S&M/drama groups who had set up booths in which barely-dressed people were whipping other barely-dressed people.  It was like the Rubber Ball meets a Renaissance fair.  Understandably, it was a bit noisy in this part of the street with all these little groups performing their sketches (and there was a bit of screaming since the props were real).  Maybe that's what woke me up.

10/25/06

[A friend],

>The Omega Man dream is a pretty good one, I've had that myself. Don't think I was a man though. What do you think it means if in some of my tornado dreams, the tornadoes look like huge, really long curly fries?
You need to cut back on the trans fats, but that's a good idea regardless.  Do your dreams make sense to you?  I can usually tell where various things came from, but it's in an obscure code of sorts.  It's more like oblique references to things in my waking life than anything a dream interpretation book could nail down on a one-to-one relationship (e.g., snakes = whatever).

3/1/07

I had a really crazy dream last night.  You ever wake up from a dream, and you're really affected by it?  I get those every once in a while, and it almost doesn't matter what the subject of the dream is whether it affects me or not.  The one last night was really weird.  Dani and I were trying to get pregnant [For context, this was a year and a half before we actually tried], only we were going to use a surrogate for some reason, but Dani didn't even want to use one of her eggs, so technically the surrogate was going to be the mom.  Dani didn't look like herself, but somehow that was who she was supposed to be (This happens a lot in my dreams).  Since she was being a bitch about things, I ended up in a relationship with the surrogate, even though this meant (by the logic of the dream) that we were going to lose the kid to evil Dani.  (No, that makes absolutely no sense considering we were the biological parents.)  I have no idea what to read into any of that.

Ever since I woke up, I've had this really, really weird feeling like something's missing.  I miss the surrogate who I fell in love with.  It's just bizarre because I don't even know anyone like her, and I barely even remember what she looked like in the dream.  This is seriously weird.

Somehow that dream shifted into another one in which I was at a music store that seemed to double as a live music place.  They had a stage that they were setting up with equipment (and even fog machines) for a band that was going to come on later that night.  I was messing around with guitars there, but I was also supposed to be with my students.  They were supposed to be college students, but they looked and acted a lot younger.  Somewhere along the way I ended up with a guitar that had maybe 36 frets (a typical one usually has between 21 and 24), but the higher ones triggered all sorts of electronics such as arpeggiators.  For example, you might play a chord, but then you would run your hand over those high frets, and the guitar would break the chord apart into individual notes and play them really fast and in random patterns.  It was very, very cool.

3/6/07

[My ex-girlfriend],

I dreamt that my dogs and the cat that lives here (that I never call *my* cat) managed to not only get out of the back door, but also made their way into the neighbor's back yard behind us.  In reality, there's an elementary school directly behind us, but in the dream there wasn't even a fence, just a continuous yard.  The neighbor had a fox for a pet, and I worried that the dog(s) would fight with it, so I chased after the animals into the neighbor's house. 

Once I was in the house, I was sitting on the floor in a hallway trying to call the animals back to me from opposite directions.  It turned out there was a small party going on there which was populated by (mostly) people from a party I went to a few weeks ago.  A lady turned up in a perpendicular part of the hallway and asked me what I was doing.  She was a cross between a professor I had in grad school and a lady I used to work with.  I didn't want to seem like I was being anti-social at the party, so I got up and started mingling.

It turned out to be something like a high school graduation party, but eventually I found you there.  People were excitedly running around and talking to one another like it was the last time they were going to see one another.  I managed to steer you to one of the back rooms in the house so I could talk to you, though it meant fending off people so we could have some privacy.  I had to seriously ask you if you had seen my dogs.  Now why this required privacy, I have no idea, but you were disappointed because you thought I was going to ask you to make out.  I realized that, hey, that wouldn't be such a bad idea, so we kissed for a second, then the dream shifted to where we were leaving for a trip somewhere.  I was loading up my car to head across what was apparently a barren area.  My uncle was there offering me fish he had in his freezer, but I explained to him that they wouldn't keep on the trip across the desert in just an ice chest (and how would I cook them?).

Somehow I found myself at a cd store with maybe twenty people.  It was sort of a party there as well, though I really didn't know anyone.  These armored aliens showed up and were about 10 feet tall.  They rounded us up and said they were going to experiment on us.  They killed a couple people right away when they struggled.

Somehow it jumped ahead 500 years, and we were all still trapped in the store.  The aliens had allowed most of us to live forever, but had killed off everyone else in the world.  Outside the store, you could see there was nothing but desert because their destruction had been so thorough, but there were maybe a dozen of us left and we all had super powers somehow.

Yeah, it was completely nuts.

3/7/07

[My ex-girlfriend],

>I have to ask...did you find your dogs [in the dream]?
No, but the whole thing shifted.  From what I've heard, you don't really have just one dream at night; there are multiple dreams, but when you try to remember them, they sort of stitch themselves together.  It's pretty obvious where this is for me because I have to begin a new paragraph that begins with "Somehow" by way of explaining that I have no idea how this new section is connected to the old one.

>I guess there could be worse places then being trapped in a cd store with cool people. However I would be bad if you didn't have electricity or a cd player. or worse yet all Country Music selections..... That would have turned your dream in to a nightmare.
I think we did without all that stuff.  It was almost like we were in a bomb shelter.  It was the old cd store that was in the mall [in the town where we went to college together], believe it or not.  It was where the store used to be located back when we first started college, not where it moved to a few years later.

>You cant go wrong with super powers!  That is great.
We were supposed to be like the X-Men or something, although I don't know what we could do.  One chick was supposed to be Storm, I think.

>You are right, that is crazy!  I usually don't remember my dreams or I wake up and have all good intention to write it down but I am too tired to look for a bloody pen.  By morning it is more of a deja vu.  I just need more rest.
I take the Alphasmart [small text-only laptop-type device] with me at night and write in bed before I fall asleep.  If I'm lucky, I'll remember things early in the morning and start writing away on it while it's handy.

3/28/07

I had some crazy dreams last night.  I wish I remembered more, but I dreamt that I was riding my bike across the country.  I was traveling really far, and it was supposed to be a permanent move.  It was obviously metaphorical whereas a lot of my other dreams are just a bunch of things in my life all mashed together in weird ways.

5/22/07

I had crazy dreams last night thanks to time-traveling [This is a term I used for looking up people from my past.  I had an on-going writing project about this at the time].  I dreamt that I was going to "prom" with some girl who was a year younger than me who I went to high school with.  Oddly enough, I had never even spoken to her before and couldn't even tell you anything about her then or now; she was just someone I saw in a yearbook who I thought was cute.  In the dream the "prom" was this bizarre series of events like going down water slides (yes, in formal dress).  It didn't make any sense at all.

9/28/07

[A friend],

>It's so funny I woke up to your Oscar Wilde quotes today. Last night I had a dream about being in an old record store and there was actually a band called "Oscar Wilde!" The letters were all scrawled in that heavy metal way, so you could barely tell what it said. One of them had a picture on the back that had him drawn with a fist looking all metal! The cashier couldn't understand why I was freaking out and buying all the albums.
I used to dream all sorts of crazy things about comic books back when I was into them in junior high and high school.  I would put rock stars in them and make up new ones.  When I got into Pink Floyd, I was trying to figure out the story of The Wall from the lyrics and the paintings inside the album.  I hadn't seen the movie yet, but the images were enough to send my mind whirling, and I had this crazy dream that "Pink" was this adventure character in the future, like in Logan's Run or something.  The city was all futuristic, and he was being chased around in it.  Crazy stuff.  I was actually disappointed once I saw the movie.

[I loved the contrast between the straight-lined bricks on the cover of "The Wall" and the sloppy brush stroked writing.  Then when you open it up there’s this whole alien world inside with these distorted characters and this caricature of a stadium that's so huge that it's curling back on itself.  Then there are all these futuristic effects-laden sounds throughout the whole album, especially tracks like "Empty Spaces," where there's a loop of industrial noise that serves as the percussion.  All that came together in my head and turned the album into an adventure film.  There was a huge, oppresive city in which a character was trying to escape.  He was in a building like a parking garage, and he was racing down the spiral it formed.  A giant glossy black ball was chasing him like the massive stone in "Raiders of the Lost Ark."  Absolutely nothing to do with the actual story or setting of the movie, but that's what my mind concocted out of all these elements.]

1/12/08

[A friend],

Last night I dreamt I took a friend to see "The Golden Compass," but I was angry afterward because it didn't have the armored bears or the action scenes I expected.  When I woke up I realized that was because I've been listening to the audiobook on my iPod, and I'm not to the parts with the armored bears or the big battles.  Also, I almost never go see movies more than once unless I'm fanatical about them (e.g., Fight Club, Contact, or a Star Wars sequel).  And besides, my friend already saw the movie *and* read the book anyway, so the whole dream was a huge waste of time.

4/20/08

I dreamt I was directing Pink Floyd's "Live at Pompei" concert they filmed in 1972.  Somehow I was both aware of the future and yet in the past directing a concert film I saw about a year ago.  Things weren't going well; the stage hands were lazy and not listening to me in the meetings, etc.  I was stressed out.

8/21/08

I've had stress-dreams over the years where I'm placed in impossible situations, but the one nightmare I really remember was one I think I told you about in which I was blackmailed by a cult who killed a woman and were going to make me take the blame for it.  I woke up from that literally sick to my stomach, and that lasted for hours after the fact.

8/22/08

[A friend],

>I've had a couple of other[lucid dream]s, but they only involved telling tornadoes to go away.
My ex used to have them all the time like this.  She would realize that something was unrealistic and that would snap her into the fact she was in a dream.   I've never had that happen.  Most of my dreams are fairly random and don't have a lot of plot or cause-and-effect logic.  Something happens and then, no consequence, something else happens irrespective of that.

>I had another flying dream recently that involved carrying people from place to place like I was some sort of air taxi. They're supposed to be related to lucid dreams, but I'm not convinced.
Just before summer started, I had a series of dreams about hang gliding.  They weren't terribly realistic with respect to aeronautics, but they were a lot of fun.  I could just lift off a hill and then coast around pretty much wherever I wanted to go.  In one of them I went with [another friend] and two of our mutual friends.  We were out in the country somewhere and would just pick up and fly from one spot to the next.  At one point she and I flew off on our own around the snowy top of the mountain and fought a polar bear by attacking it like we were birds.  Made no sense, but it was very cinematic.

8/25/08

I found it was too hard to keep [a dream journal] because I had to explain the context.  If I wrote it down as I saw it, most of them didn't make much sense to a reader or even me once I had forgotten what prompted specific things.
 
8/27/08

Wet dreams were always weird to me because I was only vaguely aware that I had an erection.  In several of them, I dreamt I was urinating, which is effectively what it is since that's more about excretion than anything sexual.  I guess that's an example of ejaculation without orgasm, technically, although I was never awake to tell what led up to it.

8/29/08

[A friend],

>I've had orgasms while dreaming before. Not always to dreams that would precipitate it, though.
I remember a wet dream I had in which I was dressed as Frank'n'Furter and running through the woods away from something possibly supernatural.  I was trying to climb a tree, and then I came.  Very weird.  Another Rocky-related one I recall was that I was trying to urinate in the bathrooms at a theater showing RHPS.  It was one I had completely made up and all the urinals were covered in plastic sheets for some reason.  Obviously both of these were when I was in my late teens back when wet dreams and RHPS were more common features in my life.

12/2/08

[A friend],

>How was Thanksgiving?
Not too bad.  I'll post my best stories from it later.  Right now I'm sick with a bad cold.  It started the last night I was there and came on so quickly that I was nauseous from shivering.  I slept in all my clothes to keep warm and was really messed up all night, could barely sleep.  I had dreams that my organs were being replaced and I would wake up a different person.  It was a bad deal.  I wasn't as sick the next night, but the cold is pretty strong right now.

[Alt. version from an email to a different friend.  She and I were out together the night I came down with the cold.  It was literally the sickest I have ever been in my life.]

I'm moving through the symptoms rapidly though.  I really should have just called it a night early, but I wanted to hang out with you.  By the time we left IHOP, I was really sick feeling in every kind of way.  That night I had a bad fever, but I was freezing.  I wore my clothes to bed, but could barely sleep.  When I did sleep I dreamt that my organs were being replaced by evil people who were keeping me sedated so I couldn't move.  I though I would wake up a different person at the end of the night when the process was complete.  It was horrible.  I wasn't sure I'd be able to drive home.  I assumed I'd be staying over an extra day.

The next morning I felt a lot better though.  My throat wasn't as sore, no fever, and none of the other symptoms (i.e., coughing, stopped-up nose) had shown up yet.  Those are all passing through now, and I'm taking several different meds all the time.  The fact that they're here this quickly might mean it will be over sooner than usual.  I hope anyway.  I also hope you don't have the same version of this as I do or at least that you'll be more immune to it.

[I later realized that I was having a "fever dream."  I had previously assumed that was just an expression, but I believe I was so sick that I was hallucinating in my sleep.  My dad had a similar experience lng before I was born, in which he had a high fever while he was traveling.  The fever caused him to hallucinate that everyone had the same face, or at least every man looked the same and every woman looked the same.  Similarly, the people in my dreams were all faceless entities.  Of note also is the fact that the dream seemed to go on all night, as though the process of replacing my organs was an hours-long operation.  When I woke up the next morning, I was drenched in sweat from the fever (plus sleeping in all my cloths and under two blankets).]

12/3/08

[Posted on MySpace]

I woke Dani up laughing in my sleep.

She woke me up asking me what I was laughing about, and I couldn't even tell her because I was still laughing so hard.

In my dream there was a guy who was a master prank caller.  He would go someplace other than his home and tap into the phone system there to anonymize or at least misdirect the source of his calls.  For one set of calls, he dressed as a nurse (think Joker in iiiDark Knight) and kept his recording equipment hidden beneath some linens on a rolling instrument cart.  He'd plug into a phone jack in a hallway while pretending to tie his shoe.  He wouldn't even have to unplug it because he had cleverly broken off the snap that locks it into the jack; he'd just roll away when he needed to disconnect, especially if he needed to make a quick get-away.  (My subconscious didn't bother to solve the problem of how he managed to look inconspicuous talking on a phone mounted on a cart in plain view in a hospital hallway.)

Not only was he a master of the technology, the guy was the Frank Gorshin of his medium.  The voice he adopts for this series of prank calls is a kindly older woman, probably a grandmother just working part time for a little extra income in her retirement.  The supposed grandmother uses a soft-sell approach hawking magazine subscriptions.  She excuses herself for interrupting whatever anyone was doing, but she has a lot of different titles at very low rates.

One family takes "her" up on the offer and subscribes to iiiSports Illustrated.  She says great, but there's a slight problem which is why they're able to offer the magazines so cheaply.  Apparently, she explains very matter-of-factly, a hacker had gotten into their system and ruined things.  Now whenever they go to mail out subscriptions, the address labels would have the correct house numbers and such, but --and she's terribly sorry about this-- would they mind too much that they were addressed to "The Projectile Vomit Family"?

1/9/09

I dreamt that I went over to my ex's parents' house.  I haven't been by there in years, but apparently I had something to return to them.  I pulled up in front of their place at night, and it was windy like it was getting ready to storm.  It's a relatively rural home with nothing developed around it, but in my dream there was a fence added around the place, but it was only a couple feet high like a baby gate.  Just as I pulled up, a black cat jumped the fence.  I got out and opened the gate and pulled in.  The house itself had changed.  All the front had become flat and featureless instead of a front porch and windows and gables.  It was a small office building.  As I looked to the left where there was once an empty field with a wooded area not far from the house beyond it, there were now two four-story professional buildings, all black glass and steel.

I went inside and my ex brother-in-law was watching tv.  The house still resembled their original home, but the floorplan had changed.  The kids' bedrooms upstairs were now office space for whatever this operation was.  He and I talked for a bit.  He said that he and I were still friends (in reality we weren't really all that close), but that his parents really didn't like me at all (which in reality probably wasn't true since I always got along with them and held the moral high ground as of the divorce from their daughter).  A short time later his dad (who really didn't look like his dad) passed through and hardly acknowledged me.  Later a swarm of fifteen kids came through and wanted to know what we were doing.  We were like, "Go away," and they left.

My ex-brother-in-law asked if I wanted to see the rest of the place, the new additions and all.  We went into the next building where there was a huge futuristic bar on the first floor, all glass and steel with lots of neon strip lights in yellows and blues and purples.  It was almost completely devoid of walls separating it into different areas or rooms, just a giant space.  Even though I didn't notice any cars outside when I arrived earlier, the bar was fairly crowded.  Barack Obama showed up at one point with a small entourage of four to six bodyguards.  I talked to him for a bit and realized that I wasn't nervous around him; meeting him didn't seem like a big deal.  I commented on this saying, "You're very approachable."  Later he put on a blonde wig and did funny voices and characters.

4/15/09

[A friend],

>I keep meaning to tell you about this dream I had a week or so ago. We (me, you, Dani, [her boyfriend at the time]) were in a New York restaurant w/ a group of ppl, but we kept talking about going to Hollywood, which was apparently just a few blocks away. We were all out at dinner when you and I got bored and decided to go to a haunted house. Once there, you stole a costume from someone inside and posed as a statue outside the door. Then when no one else was looking we ran back to the restaurant. You went into the bathroom to change clothes. When you came out, you were Neil Patrick Harris and you were wearing a pilot uniform.
>I had been watching a lot of Nick at Night at work before I went to bed that morning and Neil P. Harris was in a lot of commercials because he's hosting the TV Land awards or something like that. So that's where he came from. I always have such vivid dreams when I sleep during the day. I wonder if that's because I sleep so much better, or if it's because there's natural sunlight outside or if it's because my brain is just more active during the day. The colors are always brighter and the dreams are always much more strange.
That's hilarious!  Your dreams sound a lot like mine: Lots of illogical leaps incorporating random bits from life in random ways.  The main difference is that I rarely dream about real people.  Dani and my friends almost never show up in them, although celebrities do.

Last night was an exception though.  I dreamt that I was in the GI Joe team, and my crew was going to infiltrate this warehouse Cobra was using as a base of operations.  (This scenario was lifted from the episode of Torchwood (a BBC sci-fi series) I watched last night.)  Actually, the warehouse was more like a grounded cargo freighter.  I was like Batman in that I could totally predict when someone was running down a hall exactly when they'd get to me.  The Baroness was running down a passage and I just stood there near a window in an adjacent hall.  The second she got near me, I just swung this kama (ninja weapon; looks like a scythe) and nailed her in the shoulder taking her out of commission.  Destro escaped though, and ran off down another hallway.

Somehow Dani and I were Destro and the Baroness in disguise as ourselves (i.e., the opposite of Halloween [Dani and I were those characters the previous Halloween]) and were trying to evade the cops.  We ended up at an really old Walmart and I noticed that the cops penned my car in so when I returned to it in the parking lot, I wouldn't be able to leave.  I doubled back on foot, but the cops cornered me an I had to give up.  They caught Dani at the same time as she was trying to meet up with me.  Then two Mexican guys came up and tried to give us back our dogs, only they weren't our dogs.  They started off as chihuahuas, but then they changed into larger mutts and I had to hold one by the throat to keep it from biting me.  Then I woke up.

4/17/09

Last night I dreamt about [my son Stan] for the first time [This was when Dani was six-months pregnant with him].  It wasn't very far in the future, but somehow he had jumped from being a newborn to age 4 or 5.  He looked exactly like me at that age though.  It was very surreal talking to and carrying a younger version of myself.
 
4/18/09

[A friend],

I dreamt last night that [a friend who I go exploring with] was killed in a tunnel.  I wasn't with him at the time, but I was at his apartment waiting for him to come back from an expedition.  A couple guys he had gone with came back and told me about it.  Apparently he jumped from one ledge to another and hit his head which either killed him or knocked him unconscious and he drowned.  I remember thinking that it was a good thing he got to see [a mutual friend]'s band play (which he did last weekend in reality) before he died.  Then his mom came down from Vermont where he's from and collected his stuff.  I told her I understood how she felt because I had just lost my mom [which was true; my mom passed away roughly a month earlier].  It was very strange for me because most of the details were right and plausible except how he got killed, although he does explore a lot of places where he could get killed (I think I told you about the 70' sheer drop we rappelled down; he's done that on his own several times as well).  I woke up trying to figure out if it was a dream or not.

4/19/09

[A friend],

>I had a strange dream about Misha Collins (from Supernatural) a couple of nights ago. Which is odd, because I never dream about TV people. Usually it's just friends and family.
I'm the complete opposite.  The one about [the exploring friend] probably stuck with me in part because I rarely incorporate real people.  Occasionally it's characters from shows or celebs, but usually everyone is just made up.  Even real locations from my past are so altered as to be unrecognizable.  Last night I dreamt I went back to the house I lived in from age 12 to 20 to return a ladder to them.  Apparently we took it when we moved 15 years ago.  The house was in a state of severe disrepair and looked almost abandoned.  The garage had a pile of melted sheetrock (looked like someone mixed it with water in a giant blender and poured it out) that was almost to the ceiling starting in one corned and tapering to the floor in every direction.  It was like walking on the moon.  The people who lived there abandoned the place and converted the barn on the property to a house and were living in that now.  They came up after they saw I was wandering around in the house.  Just plain weird.

4/20/09

[A friend],

Ha!  No, I just dream a lot about old locations where I used to live.  College dorms show up a lot and the neighborhood I grew up in.

4/23/09

Last night I had a dream I was at a swinger's party, only it was sort of like a summer camp.  It was a little of everything thrown together: elements of [a swinger's club we'd been to], a college dorm, a camp or retreat, etc.  There were about 20 or so people, mostly couples who showed up and swapped all around.  My friend [who would almost never go to a swinger club] was there and a few other people I knew, but mostly strangers.  It was a very random mix overall: a black guy with a huge crazy afro, some stoners, college girls, and so on.  I never hooked up with anyone though, and it was almost like musical chairs.  Everyone would go into separate rooms all at once, then would come out sometime later, all on the same schedule nearly.  I was in a kitchen area with a guy and a group of four or five girls, and he and I were making jokes and a comedy routine about a chocolate cake that had the girls giggling like crazy.  Then it switched to me realizing that people were getting laid because they got the most attention, so I climbed up on this mountain where everyone could see me, and I got behind this huge cannon and started acting like it was my cock, then started firing it repeatedly (without having to reload somehow).  Everyone noticed and thought it was great.  Go figure.

4/28/09

[A friend],

>Speaking of [her sister], I had strange dreams after all the shit went down. I wasn't feeling good so I laid down about 4 (and just woke up). No surprise that it took place at my grandparent's house at the lake, mostly on their dock. It was closed in like a house, and my dad had nearly all his personal photos and a bunch of [the sister]'s personal stuff out there in book cases. The water was rising and I was trying to get it all put in boxes, but I knew I couldn't get it all in time.
>I don't know how this all relates to recent crap, but I hate dreams like that. It's an ongoing constant theme of trying to get shit put in boxes and moved out before something inevitable happens. Also that it usually involves water destroying things. Sometimes it's water creeping up toward the house or eating away at the foundations.
It's an obvious anxiety dream.  Those almost always involve trying to set things right by doing some repetitive task that seems hopeless.  I should write a list of ones I've had like that.

My ex had a dream when we were in college together during finals week.  She was handed a ham sandwich and that was her final.  She really didn't know what she was supposed to do with it.  Another college dream I have a lot (and surprisingly a lot of other people have) is where I haven't gone to a class all semester.  I somehow forgot I registered for it, and only remembered finals week.  I try to show up and take the exam anyway even though I barely understand the concepts on it.  The one I remember best had something to do with freshwater aquatic biology.  Lots of mathematical models of ecological systems.  They even had an aquarium in the class to test theories (not just for show).  It was so esoteric that I was completely lost.

Last night I dreamt that people were getting minor super powers like weak telekinesis and things like that.  I realized that I could gradually stay in the air a little longer every time I jumped.  By the end of the dream I could "fly" by hovering around the room.  I could move around in the air almost like I was standing on a skateboard.  My plan was to begin testing how to fly like Superman.  I was like Peter Petrelli where I was slowly becoming the most powerful super character.

4/27/09

[A friend],

>I suspect tornado dreams will be next. They're about change and the inability to control situations. Or maybe the teeth falling out, which I've never had a good explanation for. It's run the gamut as far as what it means.
The teeth falling out scenario is supposed to also be about lack of control.  There was a Sopranos episode in which he had that one.  I didn't get the reference until I read something about that being the most common interpretation sometime shortly after the episode.  However, I've had that dream and it's literally about a tooth falling out.  I've always had one that was crooked and would likely be the first one to go if anything happened.  [Actually, it's not "crooked" so much as being squeezed between two other teeth to that it's more forward than the others, so it looks out of line with its neighbors.]

>All I know about flying dreams (one of my most frequent recurring themes, besides the lakehouse clearing out ones and the teeth falling out) is that they're related to lucid dreaming.
>I need to start writing the C on my hand in preparation, I suppose.
I dream a lot about flying with a hang glider.  It's always very easy where I just have to lift off the way a bird does, only without even flapping.  The most recent flying (non-hang gliding) dream was neat in that I was hopeful that I'd be able to really take off with my potential.  What I was doing in the dream was only the beginning of what I could eventually do.

5/7/09

The night before last I dreamt my mom wasn't really dead.  [This was almost two months after she had died from cancer.]  She literally came back to life.  She was on her deathbed, had ceased breathing, no pulse, etc.  Then as they were going to remove her body, she started breathing again and woke back up.

Last night I dreamt that MySpace was about to end.  People were leaving it in droves.  The count of members on the main page was declining from two hundred-something million to just a few million, steadily dropping over the course of hours so that it was down to 40 million.  It was like the stock market was crashing.  People were panicking and trying to delete their accounts.  Somehow this all had to do with living in my college dorm with my roommate who I haven't had any contact with since I tried to reconnect with him before my wedding [about a year before this].  He was moving out because MySpace was crashing, etc.  Walls were colored all crazy like profile backgrounds.  The building was literally falling apart like a space ship during the auto-destruct countdown.  It was craziness.  [This was about a year or more before people started leaving MySpace en mass.  It was still popular at this point and regular users were still coming to the site daily, even though they weren't attracting a whole lot of new users.]

I didn't go to sleep until 5am the night before this one, so when Dani came home (early... she's beginning to get back to the tiredness of the 1st trimester), I took a nap with her and dreamt that I was wandering around trying to find some place with my GPS, but I didn't know exactly what I was searching for.  I went into what looked like a convenience store, only it was sort of a small restaurant (read: greasy spoon), but it was more like a neighborhood bar kind of crowd.  An older lady was trying to help me figure out what I was looking for.  I was outside a little later when someone walked up, turned into a flying truck (as in metamorphed into a flying truck), and tried to fly up above the building, only he (it?) crashed into the balcony on the top floor.  A little while later this happened again.  As a joke I wrote a note on a posterboard stating, "Supervillains are not allowed to crash into this establishment" or something like that.  (In the dream it made sense, but that wasn't the text in it; it was complete nonsense.)  Apparently there was a bar upstairs in the place as well.  At one point I was going to connect a tv to the cable for the patrons using the small alligator-clip jumper cables you use in electronics.  I woke up and asked Dani to get it for me.  I was completely convinced I needed to do this right away.

5/8/09

[A friend],

>I'm half-convinced folks that have moved on can contact us in our dreams. Not long after [her friend] died, I kept having this dream where I was in a huge crowd and I could hear her calling me. I'd look and look and finally see her way off in the distance, waving madly with a big smile on her face. I had the distinct feeling she was telling me everything was alright.
>Maybe your mom's trying to tell you she's not *really* gone? Metaphorically?
It's just my head dealing with the unresolved.  Death is something I can't get my head around, even though I thought I had.  When I was in high school, there was a guy I rode the bus with who I liked a lot.  We never really hung out much, but he was a lot of fun.  Somewhere in the middle of the year he just up and moved.  I think his family was really poor (single mom with a min. wage job and two school-age kids), and they just picked up and left for something better near relatives.  He went ahead of his sister by a few weeks, so she filled me in, but the next few years after that I dreamt about him several times.

Same thing happened with a guy who used to work at a comic book store I went to when I was in high school.  He was in his 20s and had been reading for years, so I could always go to him and ask trivia about the backstory of certain characters or to introduce me to certain series he liked that I wouldn't have otherwise been exposed to.  Unfortunately, the comic book portion of the business (which was a used book/cd/etc. store) was losing money, so they let him go and stopped getting new comics.  He came in one day and they told him without any warning that they just decided to pull the plug on that part of the store, so I never saw him again, but every once in a while I'd run across him in my dreams.  I dreamt a lot about comic books too for the longest time because when that store shut down, that ended my opportunity to read some of the specialty series that you could only get from comic book stores (i.e., "direct market series" were ones sold only at comic shops as opposed to the standard superhero fare you could get off almost any magazine rack at the supermarket).

My ex-roommate I mentioned in the MySpace dream is another case like that.  He and I were inseparable best friends for a time, and that was part of the problem.  He was obsessive about me and consumed all of my time.  He had to be included in everything.  We got along great, but it got even worse after I transferred.  I was going to a much tougher school and could barely keep up.  I was in a long-distance relationship with my ex at the time, and yet he wanted me to spend entire weekends with him in addition to writing him all the time by email.  Eventually he blew up about it when I told him I couldn't give him an entire weekend.  He acknowledged in hindsight that this was excessive, but at the time he left no room for negotiation.  I suspect he'd be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and one key trait was this all-or-nothing tendency.  I didn't want to drive him away forever, but it took until a couple years ago before I tracked him down and finally decided to try to reconnect with him.  He's different in a lot of ways, but he still views me as an "old flame" (his term; he's gay, in case I didn't mention that before or it wasn't evident in this already), and he didn't want to deal with all those issues.  I don't have those problems, so my subconscious always sees us getting back together and hanging out either actively resolving things in the dream or having already moved past them.

A few nights ago I ran across a comment in an old blog left by a girl I used to talk to on MySpace.  She was a mess and emotionally very manipulative in very odd ways (too much to go into).  I finally deleted her and didn't bother explaining to her why.  I thought about writing her out of the blue now, a couple years after the fact, and telling her exactly what I thought of her.  Either that night or right after, I dreamt that I ran into her and in fact had that conversation with her.  My intention with the email was to just let it be a one-off thing and never even read a reply from her if she bothered.  In the dream though we got to talking, and I was sort of stuck there because she was trying to be very nice.  I realized in it she was trying to suck me back into a relationship with her that I didn't want to be part of.  [In reality I didn't ever bother writing her.  She knows she has problems, so I wouldn't accomplish anything by pointing out the obvious.]

The weird thing is that I rarely dream about real (or even online) people all that much in spite of these examples.  For example, last night or this morning (I slept until 1:30 thanks to Nyquil), I was in this dream in which I was in Star Wars between the trilogies (sort of).  Darth Vader was just getting the Empire set up and he wasn't all that powerful just yet.  I told him off, and he turned out to be a guy just pretending to be Darth Vader to test people in the Empire while he was away taking care of some other business.  There was some other Star Wars stuff too, but it didn't make any sense thanks to the drugs, I'm sure.

5/13/09

I have slept through migraines before.  In my dreams I'll know I'm having one though because of the visual distortion.  That would come through even with my eyes closed and my conscious mind offline, which is surprising because it really only should occur in visual stimuli.  Dreams would seem to come from the associative cortex, somewhere a ways down the pathway.

5/20/09

[Other than removing the name who is the subject of the first part of the dream, most of the other explanatory notes were added at the time I posted this on MySpace.]

Dissected dream theater

So many people asked some version of "WTF?" over the last 24 hours that I'm just reposting this with analysis and attempts at interpretation.  Incidentally, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, so I don't pursue any of the following to the point of the ridiculous when that's what it already is at the outset.

* * *


Whenever [a friend and crush of mine] shows up in my dreams, we may or may not make out, but there's always a new house involved.  This time she bought a place in my neighborhood, an imaginary version of one of the large older homes around corner from me.  It had a weird floorplan and multi-leveled design (even on the 2nd floor) that I thought was interesting, but it was completely wrong for her.  All earthy tones, beige and antique pale green everywhere as well as being pre-furnished with the previous occupant's belongings, apparently an elderly woman (read: Lots of porcelain dolls and knick knacks.  Gag!).  I told her to stick with her current house, one with vibrant colors and art/decor relevant to this century.  [I'm interested in a house in the opposite direction from me as the ones I describe in the dream, but it is of a similar age and size, and so that may have prompted this.  The colors in it are even more "earthy" than the ones in my dream (which leaned more pastel).  She is a little older than I am, but has commented on the difference in our ages or at least on her age (and thus mine by comparison) on several occasions, so perhaps I'm projecting her into this self-imposed Miss Havisham role (iiiGreat Expectations) at her implicit suggestion.  However, I disagree with it and find her aesthetic tastes closer to mine than what I encountered in the dream.  Knick-knacks scare me.]


In the dream my dad had a new house as well, so I went there and stayed over for a visit, but there was water coming through the sheetrock in the ceiling in two rooms.  I tried to get into the attic to access the pipes and find what needed repairing, but the entrance was poorly designed and required moving wires out of the way while squeezing my way around joists that shouldn't have been there to begin with.  There was a sandwich sitting on a paper plate near the entrance, so I stopped struggling to get through and finished preparing the sandwich by adding the cut tomatoes beside it on the plate, then ate it as I gave up on the attic and walked across to the big multi-storied abandoned warehouse (one I'd explored in real life previously) on the other side of the street.  There was an abandoned Goodwill on the first floor that was full of books that were getting wet from their exposure to the elements through the broken store windows out front.  I decided I need to rescue those as soon as I could.  [I'm always doing home repair/renovation projects including a few at the moment, though nothing this involved, but it could also serve as a metaphor for frustrated attempts to fix things in my life.  My dad isn't moving anywhere except into a new chapter since my mom died a couple months ago, although he has talked about eventually moving out this way to be closer to us.  The Goodwill in the dream resembled any number of scenes of post-Katrina New Orleans East, but in particular it was based off one area in which I explored an abandoned shopping center that housed a comic book store I frequented back when I was in college, which would also explain why this scene was literally set inside another building I once explored (albeit one 500 miles away from the other).  Also, I'm presently shopping on eBay and CL for books, and since buying small lots of them is cheaper than piecemeal, I often end up with grab-bag scenarios like this which include things I wasn't necessarily seeking.]

I went back to the house to work with Dad on the leaking pipes, but instead of going up, we dug down into the front yard.  A few feet down we uncovered a medium-size dog that had been cut in half on the transverse plane.  The back half was missing as was at least one other limb that should have been on the remaining (i.e., front) end.  Even though my dad had supposedly been living at this property a year and a half by this point and the dog (half) had been there at least that long, the long-buried and dismembered dog slowly came back to life.  I realized I had one of the most important discoveries of all time if only I could understand it.  [My partner and I foster dogs that often come to us in poor health, and we lost one a little over a month ago to cumulative medical effects of multiple issues.  However, I think it was more likely this was a proxy for trying to literally resurrect my mom.  A few weeks ago, I dreamt that she came back to life on her deathbed, that she was just apneatic for more than a minute and that we were wrong in assuming she had passed away.  Ironically, I went through a lot of the grieving stages while she was still breathing but for all intents and purposes was gone to us.  Apparently my subconscious is only just now getting around to dealing with denial.  Stay tuned for more dreams informed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' work.]

Only I didn't have time to think about the mystery because suddenly I was watching a band perform.  They were the Goonies... but all grown up now (even though I didn't recognize any of the characters), and yet they were somehow an '80s band at the same time.  The bass player was the musical genius behind the group.  You know that scene in iiiEddie and the Cruisers where Eddie takes the keyboard player's piano riff that the rest of the band scoffs at, and he directs the other instruments to come in one by one to turn out what we soon recognize as "On the Dark Side"? No? Then go see the movie.  Anyway, in the dream the bass player is running with a similar arpeggio and the band's just racing to keep up as he develops it.  He's playing this classic Steinberger 4-string, and he presses a button on the face of it that makes it change from its already aerodynamic minimalist shape into something more akin to a stealth fighter all the while throwing in more and more notes.  He's gone from conventional lead playing on it to gradually introducing left- and right-handed counterpoint tapping (think Victor Wooten as opposed to the usual EVH stuff) and the song builds to insane complexity before it finishes to thunderous applause.  [This was transparently (to me) a mash-up of media I'd consumed recently.  Specifically, I recently watched iiiThe Goonies for the first time in a couple decades, so that's obvious.  And I also saw (on YouTube) some clips from a little-known Luc Besson movie called iiiSubway in which Christophe Lambert forms a band in which a young Eric Serra (who does the scores for all Besson's movies) plays a Steinberger L-series bass and they and the rest of the musicians construct a song in two scenes similar to the "On the Dark Side" scene from iiiEddie.  I saw the movie years ago, but both scenes are online as well.]

Satan smells an opportunity and shows up as he always does: In a suit, no horns or tail, and he speaks with proper and precise diction.  He offers to take the band into the next dimension, and means it literally and metaphysically, not just metaphorically.   They're already off the Earth on a platform hundreds of feet up in the sky, but they accept his offer and walk into the mouth of a giant portal of a snake demon's head and into a spiral of clouds.  A girl hanging with the band tries to accompany them through it, but Satan tells her she's a groupie, not part of the band.  She can enjoy them back on Earth.  He pushes her aside and she falls through the clouds at the edge and downward a hundred miles to Earth.  Satan laughs because this is funny.  [This version of Satan has shown up in any number of movies dating back to the '70s (e.g., Al Pacino in iiiDevil's Advocate), although I now realize I was actually pulling a version of God from the incredibly crap-tastic rock musical iiiThe Apple.  They literally go off into the sky in that one as well.  Incidentally, the special effects in the dream looked like the optical printing variety used in that movie or, more famously, something like iiiFlash Gordon, another one dating from around the same time.]

5/27/09

Last night I dreamt that [a friend] and I were going to hook up.  It was a weird complex of office buildings, like some university campus that was really old.  Apparently she worked there, and we were going to get together in a room in an abandoned section of buildings, but I kept putting it off.

Reply...

>Even your subconscious doesn't want to fuck [the friend; I had an opportunity to years ago and passed on it].
Yeah.  Weird how that worked.  Either that night or the next one I also dreamt that [a guy from the karaoke bar we were going to a lot at this time] was drunk and came over to house being pathetic and wanting to come in.  I yelled at him that I was working, but I felt really bad about it immediately after.  [Note: The patron in question probably isn't bad guy, but he is annoying and socially awkward.]
 
6/1/09

I was worn out all day Sunday.  I got up at a reasonable hour, but then went back to sleep for a lengthy nap.  I was trying to write on the book and kept falling asleep as well, lots of crazy dreams that incorporated things I was hearing.  For example, the small fan was on in the window as I was on the bed with the Alphasmart, and I dreamt there was a crazy witch woman (banshee maybe?) that let out this scream that transformed in tone and became this steady whine that turned out to be the noise from the fan.  Things like that.

>Oh lard. Larry. I had a dream about baby chickens.
Last night I dreamt I made out with the friend (and former student from years ago) who got married in California almost a year ago.  Her little sister kept walking in on us.  We had a tent and lived in the woods because society had collapsed.  Fun stuff.

6/14/09

[A friend],

>I had a dream last night that you were a forest ranger and part of some reality show. I was busy trying to move a bunch of stuff out of my grandparents' old house, including a garage full of baby things. I had no idea what I was going to do with all of it - your impending fatherhood [my son was born about a month after this] didn't seem to be a part of the equation for some reason.
Oh, I've had some crazy ones myself.  First there was one yesterday afternoon in which I was at a grocery store (probably because I've gone to a grocery store at least once a day over the last three) and [one of my friends] was there.  She's pissed off and starts shooting every which way like the holocaust museum guy.  I wasn't with her; she was there by herself, and she was going crazy.  People were running off in every direction.  I jumped over some groceries that were stacked up near the front of the store where she started shooting, and I headed to the back.  I ended up back in the stock rooms, which are all a mess, and I even ended up upstairs making my way through a series of walk-in coolers which were all interconnected somehow in a way that made no sense at all.  Crazy shit.  I woke up full of anxiety because I still thought she might find me and kill me.  [My friend]?  Innocent, fun little [her name]?  Yeah, I know.

Last night I dreamt I was in the back yard of some house.  It didn't make any sense at all.  They had pens for farm animals even though the yard wasn't big enough to support anything like this.  I had a baby doll like the ones [another friend] brought for the shower, only it was slightly larger than that and was supposed to be a robot like maybe some kind of father-training device.  It even started talking and interacting with me by the end of the dream.

12/14/09

Every once in a while Dani comes out with something truly amazing.  She recently revealed to me that until she was around ten (she thinks), she believed that dreams were something involving dinosaurs.  It wasn't until she had a dream that didn't feature a dinosaur that she realized that dreams could be independent of dinosaurs.

12/15/09

[A friend],

>I had a dream Saturday night that I called you and told you I wanted to go to [a friend]'s party. Then I showed up. It was a very normal dream - no weird stuff. I talked to people when I got there, can't remember what about, but I don't think any of them were people I know.
>I woke up and had to think for a minute about whether I had really gone, or if it was a dream.
My dreams never make any sense like this.  Last night I dreamt I was exploring a tunnel and watching for the water level to rise because we all knew some giant apocalyptic explosion was going to occur, not just there but around the world.  We were using the tunnels to escape this giant skyscraper we lived in that was in a desert.  Just as I was leaving with my group (who are always nameless/faceless extras), the buildings exploded and all the windows shattered with some bits of steel coming off of them as well.  We were safely away from the building by then, but we knew we couldn't return.

Somehow I ended up helping out setting up for the [music fest I help out with locally], but it was under some sort of post-apocalyptic conditions because the area had been hit as well.  There were utility people trying to get everything working, and the electricity for the whole building was run through a bunch of extension cords from an outlet on the side of the street a hundred feet away.  [The fest's director] was no longer running the place; some random woman was.  I was trying to get things set up, but some group of kids were blocking off areas so they could rehearse something like it was a big secret.  I finally just started pushing through and told them I was helping the place and they could just deal.  It was crazy.

3/2/10

Dani just snores.  My ex mumbled, I think, but I don't remember anything else.  The only roommate I had who said anything was one I lived with the second semester of my freshman year.  One night he just said a series of three or four lines, each slightly clearer than the previous, the last of which was "Put that in the washing machine."  Another night he said, "Did you say something," and when I looked over to respond he replied to whomever he was talking to in the dream saying, "Okay."

5/6/10

I had a dream last night that everyone in my adopted family murdered everyone else.  [Note: I'm not adopted.]  There was blood everywhere.  The only one left was my adopted dad, and he had several stab wounds including a massive one in his leg.  He wasn't going to live.  I wasn't involved in the violence, and he told me I should leave to get away to safety.  The cops were going to be there shortly and he was going to blow up the place with himself in it to cover up what had happened.  I left with my backup hard drive and rode my bike to my aunt and uncle's place and was going to live there.  Ironically, they were my real aunt and uncle, but he's been dead for twenty years.  She's still alive but has had Alzheimers for years.  It was very disturbing.  I'd like a sex dream instead.

5/11/10

[A (female) friend],

>Like, just knowing someone is into me or simple kissing someone gives me an orgasm. Or having them touch my leg. Very innocuous stuff, akin to foreplay. It's like I'm a premature ejaculator in my dreams. Which I do have a kink for in fic, strangely. I very rarely actually make it to actual intercourse. Don't think I ever do, really.
I often had romantic dreams that were a sort of parallel to this.  I'd meet someone and knew she was the love of my life.  It didn't matter that I was already attached in real life.  I had these off and on when I was with my ex and Dani, but it was always some made-up girl, always a different one.  We'd meet and it would be a perfect match on an emotional level, or a sort of a premature ejaculation of the heart as Bonnie Tyler would sing.

5/20/10

I stayed up entirely too late last night working on the AC, and then I cut the grass and chopped up a bunch of branches into firewood earlier today.  That just wore me out.  I got up too early this morning with Stan and didn't get a nap, so when Dani came home, I crashed.  I told her to get me up in an hour, but I just kept falling back asleep.  I ended up sleeping three hours, had crazy dreams about a bunch of people taking a van out to visit [some friends] who apparently lived out in the country.  They wanted to write us a check for a million and a half dollars, and we were going to buy a big house with it.  Crazy shit.  Whenever I have dreams that I can recall, it usually means I really, really needed sleep.

7/28/10

[A friend],

>All I remember [of the dream] is that we were packing for what can best be described as a road trip to [ours regular karaoke bar].  It was you, me, Dani, [specific regulars and employees of the place], and a couple of other regulars (men, but I can't remember who), and you and I were packing the coolers with soft drinks.  Like, four giant coolers filled with cans.  [The dj] really wanted to take something that had to go in a cooler (I don't know what, but it wasn't food or drink), and you said it wouldn't fit.  I said it would, so we were sitting in the parking lot arguing about how to stack the cans in order to make room for [the dj]'s thing.  I know, weird.
It's rare I ever dream about real people or real things in my life.  There are certain recurrent dreams I have that are built around themes I can identify as borne out of real issues and events in my life, but they're always different and even populated by imaginary characters.  I've never dreamt about you or the [karaoke bar].  I dreamt about Stan once, but it was before he was born and he was perhaps five years old in the dream.
 
7/30/10

My friend had a dream when we were in college that she was at a Three's Company convention.  John Ritter and Susanne Sommers were there, but Joyce DeWitt wasn't.  Everyone was like, "Where's Janet?"  Then she came running out from behind the curtain and went all across the stage high-fiving everyone in the audience before heading to the microphone.  People were like, "Where have you been since 'Three's Company'?"  She said she had been doing the voice of Velma on Scooby Doo.  I asked her, "Really?"  She's laughing as she tells me, "I have no idea!"

8/30/10

Incidentally, most of my urbex dreams are a lot like the "hidden fortress" level in "Inception."  It's always something where I'm sneaking through tunnels and finally come out inside some sort of heavily-guarded secret facility.  The drainage tunnels will somehow turn into ventilation shafts or some such, and before long I'm in some place I'm not supposed to be.  This happens a lot.

9/22/10

[A friend],

>Oh - did you see this story?  http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/inception-the-video-game-/1411720  I didn't realize that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was in the movie.  He's a favorite - you know -  he's the kid from Third Rock from the Sun.
I'm sooooo not a gamer (well, except I'm hooked on Bejeweled at the moment).  But it's funny that you mention him.  Since I was able to sleep in this morning, I had a series of wild and intense dreams last night that I actually remembered.  They were somehow supposed to be about Inception, although that was more a feeling than anything specific from the film.  The premise was that it was maybe a decade or so into the future, and the Earth was dying.  Less than 1% of the population remained.  You know how it gets in early October once the leaves all come down, and then it rains and they're this wet mass of decaying matter?  That was what it was like like all over Earth.  The few people who remained were wearing protective gear they'd fashioned from the unnamed assault, things like plastic dental shields to see through with two layers of raincoats.

I was Leonardo Dicaprio and was on some mission to explore old buildings.  We were in one house looking through the belongings.  It was a lot like the explorations we did in the 9th Ward following Katrina.  The houses had a lot of history to them and in the objects inside of them, and that history had just been cut off abruptly.  This was the end of the line.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt wasn't my partner though (some unnamed girl was); he was my nemesis, although the nature of the conflict was unclear.  He had me at gunpoint, but he wasn't going to shoot me because we were arguing over something.

I'm not sure that anything was resolved, but there was an isolated moment in the dream where two people in protective gear just sat down and gave up on everything.  There was no more point in going on for them.  Apparently there was no more food or air or some resource they were after.  They just sat down in the decaying matter and waited to die.  It was the saddest feeling.  Very strange.

9/23/10

I dreamt I had a little girl last night.  She had blue eyes, which is impossible since Dani's homozygous dominant.  [I literally laughed out loud when I read this.  About a year and a half after I wrote it, I had a baby girl with blue eyes.  Turns out Dani's heterozygous!]

10/5/10

A few nights ago I dreamt that I was on some sort of cross-country road trip, and I was sharing the driving with an older woman who I was having sex with along the way.  I woke up sad that I'd never had a much older woman.  You have any 50-something friends?  [This may have been inspired by a much tamer version of this in my dad's life.  After he and a fellow sailor were discharged at the end of the Korean war, they hitchhiked home from the west coast, just for the hell of it.  They were picked up by an older couple and shared the driving part of the way there.  Her husband was there, and there wasn't any sex, but the parallels are obvious.]

11/2/10

[A friend],

>Do you ever have dreams about your mom since she died?  I often have dreams about [her deceased fiance], but it's not like your ordinary sex dreams or nonsensical dream where he makes an appearance.  No these dreams are so real that when I wake up I can't immediately distinguish between reality and dream.  Don't get me wrong I know they are dreams, but they are so intense.  Usually we are just sitting and talking either on the swing he had on the balcony of his apartment or in his beat up old Jeep just riding around like we used to do.  And we talk about everything - [kids], work, his parents, my parents, friends, books, etc.   Is that very strange?  [Her friends] say it's normal.  I'm not so sure.  I'm also certain my insomnia isn't normal.
Right after my mom died, I would dream she was still alive even though I knew she was dead in the dream.  In at least one case, I dreamt that she had come back to life.  I had a lot of that again (even more often, in fact) after my aunt died.  [My aunt (who was my mom's older sister) lived with my parents at the end of her life and died almost exactly a year after my mom.]  I think it was proportional to the shock in either case.  I knew my mom was actively dying for months, so having her gone wasn't very abrupt.  My aunt steadily declined over a month, with her death looking imminent only in the last week or two.  Unlike with my mom, I wasn't there when my aunt passed away, so that added something to it as well.

Dreams are almost always about working through something we don't fully have our heads around.  [Her fiance, who was killed in a car accident] was so much more abrupt than anything I went through with my mom or aunt, being young and away from you at the time.  It's impossible to deal rationally with the idea of people disappearing out of our lives with no foreshadowing.  I remember dreaming for a couple years about a guy I was friends with in high school who moved very suddenly.  He just disappeared one day, and I never saw him again.  Similarly, there was a young guy who worked at the comic book store I frequented, and he and I talked all the time every time I went there.  The place sold more than just comic books though, and that portion of the business wasn't doing as well as the used books (mostly because he was buying too many copies of things he liked even though they never sold very well), so they let him go and stopped the new comics portion of the business.  This happened very abruptly, so I didn't have a goodbye with him either.  He showed up in my dreams for several years as well even though we didn't have any sort of attachment.

>Last night I listened to all of Brian Eno's The Pearl and absolutely loved it.  My particular favorites are Late October, The Silver Ball and an Echo of Night.  I have very emotional reactions to music and my reactions to these three were immediate.  I had to listen to them twice even.  I enjoyed all of them, but these three are very comforting in an ethereal sort of way.  I think I love how minimalistic the music is.  Tonight will be Another Day on Earth.  (Thanks for the loading up the jump drive.)
Unlike, say, "the Pearl," "Another Day on Earth" is more a strange collection of songs than a concept album.  It's a mix of several different styles.  I downloaded it after hearing "And Then So Clear" and thinking, "Whoa.  What the fuck was *that*?!"  Speaking of dreams, after I listened to that one all the way through several times, I dreamt that I was in some future time where that was what pop music sounded like, and I had to learn what all the music of the time was about.  The only other time I remember dreaming about music like that was when I first discovered Django Reinhardt and was listening to him almost non-stop for several weeks.

11/28/10

[A friend],

>First food poisoning and now a nasty cold?  Who is turning into a mini disaster now?  I hope you are starting to feel better though.
I'm staying fairly drugged up.  Dayquil, nose spray, and Zicam.  The dayquil makes me feel really weird like I want to take a nap or just woke up and haven't settled into reality yet.

The aforementioned dream was pre-Dayquil though.  I'm not sure what set it off, but it was one of those sprawling dreams that seem to go on to epic lengths in terms of what all they encompass and their sheer originality or at least uniqueness from anything else your dream-machine has produced thus far.

Being a dream, a lot of it didn't make any sense at all, especially the transitions or connections.  For instance, it started off where these three guys flew overhead on custom hang gliders that were partially inspired by Leonardo's drawings and bat wing anatomy.  They must have been made of thin graphite ribbing or something, but they weren't simply a rigid framework; the pilot could compress the wing down to almost no surface area to allow him to lose altitude and gain speed (You can accomplish the same with a conventional glider simply by putting it into a dive, but this was scary dangerous and therefore much more dramatic).

I followed the guys from the ground, but then somehow I ended up with them on the Causeway over the lake.  Instead of that being a road, it was a huge inflatable slide, and now I had a conventional hang glider.  The three gliders (who were apparently brothers) and I slid down what was supposed to be the overpasses along the bridge (which in reality are there to allow tall ships to pass beneath) until we reached their home.

The brothers lived in this huge old industrial warehouse.  But before we even went inside, these old guys all started landing around the place, having parachuted down for some reason.  There was never any explanation who these guys were; they just came out of nowhere, and I was helping them keep from getting their chutes caught in trees around the area.

Outside the old warehouse, the brothers had their pet bobcat on a really long chain.  Fucker was mean.  I didn't get too close.

I went inside the warehouse, and it turned out to be part of a series of buildings.  It wasn't just the brothers that lived there though; they were part of a commune.  There wasn't any explicit religion, but people were practicing some sort of vaguely Buddhist meditation/yoga in one part of it.  The class was dismissed and the teacher was talking to a girl about how she could improve her training.  She was supposed to be the brothers' younger sister.

While the teacher was talking to her, I went exploring in other parts of the complex.  It was like the place was lost in time.  There were rooms full of junk that looked like it had sat there for decades, some from the '70s, some from a hundred years ago.  I wanted to go exploring more of the place, but I got to a dead end.  I was about to double back and check out other areas, but I woke up.

12/1/10

The dream starts off that I have a helicopter carry me on a swinging cable so the pilot can have me jump onto the cliff face where I want to start climbing.  I get off the rope and climb the rest of the way up the rock by hand.  When I'm at the top, it turns out I'm on a narrow tower that's fewer than ten feet across in any direction but a hundred feet high.  I climb down inside of it and find that I'm in a secret Disney World, completely devoid of people, but all shiny and new.  There are caverns full of movie-themed scenes.  All the caverns are three to five stories tall.  Straight ahead of me is one that's based on Halloweentown from "The Nightmare Before Xmas."  Through the left fork is "Alice in Wonderland," which is where I go first.  It's a royal court/throne room, presumably for the Red Queen.  There are a dozen or so animatronic henchmen standing around.  They're vaguely cylindrical like the stereotypical design of the Nutcracker.  A few other characters turn out to be autonomous robots, including the Queen herself, shiny and metallic like an airbrushed sci-fi design, and she seems to be trying to seduce me into an alliance either political or sexual.  I leave and try to explore other parts of the secret Disney park.  Because it's underground, it feels a lot like a mall.  There are roller coasters, but they're short because of the ceiling.  I try to ride on one, but it tries to kill me.  I realize that I'm being watched and manipulated by a human operator who doesn't want me to be in this secret realm and I head toward a fireplace in a gothic-looking part of the park so that I can climb out via the chimney.  Don't remember what happened after that.

1/28/11

Crazy dreams last night!  I'm not even into zombie movies, but somehow this turned into one.  It starts off normal enough, in a weird, dream-like way.  Dani and I are home, and [two friends] are over.  They're just hanging out.  It didn't really make sense, but [one friend] was in Stan's room, and apparently Stan didn't exist in this dream-world.  Dani and [the other friend] were hanging out in my office.  I started to fall asleep on the couch in the front room, and [both friends] decide they're going to go home.  I'm not completely asleep, so I get up and tell [one friend] not to go ([the other] already had).  I tell her I want to spoon for a bit, so we go back to my bedroom (I guess Dani plays on the computer or whatever).  I put my hands around her, and she's very thin, back to her weight around the time I met her.  I compliment her on losing weight, and she says it happened just over the last four hours.  This sounds perfectly reasonable to me, and we fool around a bit.  [The friend in question is very weight conscious after having gained a lot suddenly and spent a long time trying to get rid of it.]

It apparently shifts into another dream at this point.  I'm still at home, and I go outside and see a mob of a dozen or more zombies heading around the corner toward my house.  I run inside, not entirely sure what to do because I don't know anything about how to kill them.  They're slow-moving, but they aren't rotten, just kind of off-color and scabby as though diseased and recently deceased.  They head for my front door, and this one human (i.e., non-zombie) guy in his twenties slips into the space between the storm door and the front door before I close it with the zombies just inches away.  He says he knows how to kill them and has been doing this since the outbreak started.

Somehow the zombies do manage to get in, but only one or two at a time with minutes between each.  It's not like they're pouring through the door, and it's not even clear how they're getting in.  One of the zombies passes by the "slayer," and he takes a pair of scissors and casually goes into its neck and cuts the carotid, killing the zombie in a few seconds.

The zombies don't really have any idea they're dead.  They can talk, but they're sort of hung up on their agenda, which is apparently to stalk living humans and try to eat them, I guess.  When they are snipped, they're almost oblivious to the fact of what just happened, and they just slump to the floor.

Incidentally, my house is completely different than the more accurate version in the first (i.e., non-zombie) dream.  There are no build-in bookshelves in the front room.  The kitchen is roughly where my office is.  The walls are all a horrible yellowed white, the kind of color you only find in run-down homes that decorators last visited in the late '70s.  It's vaguely reminiscent of the house I rented in grad school that I refer to as my Paper Street Soap Company house from "Fight Club."

Inexplicably, I have a girl staying there who is supposedly my babysitter.  She doesn't live there (and there's no other evidence I even have a kid).  She's in her early twenties, blonde, sorority type.  I don't know where she was supposed to be through the zombie invasion, but she comes around a corner in the house, and the slayer guy ends up cutting her neck.  He's got the scissors in, but just barely avoids killing her as I tell him to stop.  She's cut up and hurt, but she realizes what's going on and tries to help killing the zombies.

One of the zombies is Steve Martin, again sort of oblivious to the fact that he's a zombie or even that he's in someone's house where he shouldn't be.  He's just talking casually about random stuff, but the slayer guy kills him too, and he slumps to the floor.

Somehow we manage to fend off the hoard, and [the friend mentioned above] comes out from hiding.  Somehow she is the same character as the baby sitter (even though she looks like [my friend] and isn't the blonde from earlier), and elements of the dream have carried over from the previous dream.  She's the baby sitter, but she's also the [friend] I was making out with.  I mean, she looks like [my friend], but she's also cut up from the mistaken-for-a-zombie incident earlier the way the blonde was.  Oh, and the zombie apocalypse seemed to have lasted much longer than just the handful of zombie-killings.  Now  [my friend] has decided to marry this older guy, in his 50s, redneck-looking with a scruffy beard and a red flannel shirt.  I must have missed it, but apparently the two of them were fending off zombies in another room, and they bonded over this.  I'm like, "But, [her name], we made out earlier!"  The betrayal was worse than the zombies.

2/9/11

I tried to take a nap last night, but I woke up after only 20 minutes thanks to a dream in which someone broke into my Prius van (which, no, doesn't actually exist) and was trying to kidnap me.  I ran away and tried to escape the parking lot before they could chase me.  I woke up with my heart racing.

2/20/11

I rarely remember dreams if I'm awoken abruptly.  A lot of my dreams are very easy to interpret (assuming you knew every detail of my life and especially my most recent experiences), although some dreams really throw me for a loop.  For example, a few nights ago I dreamt that my old roommate from college and I were living together in some sort of weird warehouse where a serial killer was kept.  The guy was supposed to be imprisoned, but he was right there in the room with us.  Interestingly, [my roommate] had a collection of Nightmare On Elm St. and Hellraiser toys (action figures, memorabilia, etc.).  The serial killer was a total slasher type with a crazed look and was covered with blood (which didn't make any sense really since he was supposedly locked away).  [My roommate] and I were somehow in charge of him and were going to turn him loose on society as some sort of experiment to see if he was still a crazed killer.  It made no sense whatsoever.  I mean, I haven't been watching any horror movies, [my roommate] wasn't an especially big fan of any horror movies, etc.  No idea where this shit comes from.


6/23/11

Crazy dreams that I can't even begin to fully explain.  I'm writing this at almost midnight, so I've probably lost a lot of the memories of what this was all about over the course of today.

I dreamt that I was visiting my friend [who I'm going to call Guitar Guy throughout this] at his old house from when I knew him in high school.  I've told you about the place before; it was really cool.  Probably close to a hundred years old in a neighborhood similar to mine.  But in the dream it was so much more than that.  I can't put anything in a chronological sequence anymore to describe exploring it, but the house was absolutely huge in the dream.  At one point I had woken up on the top floor of the house (which in reality was only a one-story with no basement, but this was like 3 or 4 stories up).  The roof was almost completely gone, and there was just a cloth tarp covering much of the top floor, and even that was in tatters from the wind.  The house was surrounded by other large buildings, like 4 or 5 stories tall, and many of them were about to collapse.  Many looked like the dilapidated ruins of the Swift meat-packing plant by the stockyards, just visible columns supporting a series of crumbling floors with almost no remaining walls.  Unlike the Swift buildings, these had brick supports that were shattered in places from the weight.  One of the buildings even collapsed while I watched.  Another one was about to go down imminently.  [It may already be evident to anyone reading this, but I didn't catch it right away that this is taken almost straight from Inception.]

Guitar Guy's sister [who I'm going to call Piano Girl] was in the house with me and woke me up from the bed I was sleeping in.  It was like she was a nurse or something.  I was staying there as a guest though; I wasn't sick.  We wandered around the house, and we ended up in a large area with all kinds of machinery.  It wasn't supposed to be the basement, but it reminded me of part of the basement of the Baker Hotel in Mineral Wells, the area where the laundry was washed.

Later I ended up in the actual basement with Guitar Guy.  I asked him if I could draw an accurate floorplan of the house, and he said that his dad had one already that I could have, but it was in a filing cabinet in one of the rooms down there that he couldn't go in right now.  The basement was its own complete floor with two bedrooms and three (!) bathrooms.  I remember questioning that in the dream even.  A lot of areas around the house were under renovation, which was obviously taken in part from the work on my own house but was also inspired by the fact that they were re-doing the mortar on all the brick on Guitar Guy's house for a long time back when I was going over there.  One side of the house always seemed to have scaffolding on it.  [A lot of this came from the fact around this time I was designing floorplans for a "dream home" that was based on the designs and floorplans of older homes.  I was working from memory trying to copy details of this house but couldn't remember where some rooms where, such as the master bedroom, which was separate from the kids' rooms.]

I guess the telling of this dream falls short compared to the impact it had on me.  It kind of came from out of the blue to be reunited with these people in a dream.  I always had a crush on Piano Girl, and in the dream we were involved somehow beyond me just crashing on the top floor of her dilapidated house.  Strange stuff.  Very "Inception."  In fact, Piano Girl was a bit like Mal in that she was very compact, kind of elfin without seeming fragile.  The crumbling and collapsing buildings were something right out of that movie as well.

6/24/11

I dreamt I and some friends figured out a way to get up to the moon.  I'm not sure how we did it exactly, but we went up there and worked on renovating a lunar base that had been abandoned.  We got the garden started again that hadn't been completely set up the first time.  It was a big, covered, wide-open area something like 200 ft long and 40 ft wide.  The other amateur astronauts I was with were characters from "Grey's Anatomy" including Katherine Heigel and the guy who plays Alex Karev (sp?).  We didn't have space suits on since we were indoors, but we brought small oxygen tanks with us because the O2 was so low.  We were using them in the garden, for instance, when Katherine started seeming kind of loopy and my vision became distorted (i.e., everything looked golden and elongated vertically).  I don't remember ever going out on the lunar surface though, but apparently we must have since we didn't teleport to get up there.

We came back home to Earth to the small town in Kansas we lived in, but it was still supposed to be a secret that we'd been up there.  However, our relatives in the town knew and so did some close neighbors.  We didn't want anyone finding out too soon.  I was leaving town for a bit to go visit someone.  We (friends, neighbors, etc.) were all saying goodbye to one another for the night, and we were asking people if they wanted to come next time, but most were too scared.  I was teasing one late-50s-something woman about joining us, telling her that post-menopausal women love the moon.  No idea what that meant.

I left and stopped off briefly at a small natural gas facility out in the middle of nowhere (Everything was flat like it was supposed to be Mid-west).  I was picking up a couple of clamps (like fancy vice grips) that I'd left out there, but one of them was missing.  An older woman (but not the one from before) stopped by with her husband and son (who was my age) and she admitted to taking one.  I started cursing at them and asking if they were trying to kill me, didn't they know I needed those to seal areas to keep the oxygen in when we were on the moon?  She gave it back and soon we were laughing about it.

Completely different dream: Hispanic gangster like a young Danny Trejo kidnaps me and my girlfriend in his hot-rod Trans Am.  He's holding us hostage but wants to rob someplace in the small town where we live before he continues on.  I suggest Family Dollar, but somehow we end up elsewhere.  It makes no sense but somehow I end up shooting him several times and end up with his gun after the fact.  He alternately plays dead and tries to kill me and/or the girl several more times, and I try to shoot him again, only his gun is configured all weird so that only he can shoot it (and it holds tons more bullets than a normal gun, but only he can advance the ammo into the chamber).  Eventually I figure out the trick of squeezing the metal guards around the handle just the right way to make the trigger move, and I shoot him between the eyes where he's slumped against the wall of an arcade.

7/15/11

The only crazy dream I had recently that I remember in any detail was where Dani and I were sort of the Scooby gang and ran around in the desert looking in old houses.  One of the ones in the dream was a combination of the old house in the middle of nowhere and the burned-out church, in that the basement was visible through the floor boards.  [These were places we explored on a road trip a couple weeks before this.]

10/17/11

[A friend],

I can't remember how much I told you about the GE Smith dream.  I was playing with him and the SNL band.  I can even show you the licks I played.  It was strange because everything was rearranged almost opposite what it was supposed to be.  See, the host of the show was in front of the cameras, but the audience was behind him and the band was sort of in between, also facing the back of the host.  The show's control rooms were behind the cameras.  I was able to go back there between commercial breaks.  Crazy shit.

12/5/11

I dreamt last night that there was a guy who could turn into a part-reptile monster (think The Abomination from the Hulk comics) had a Hellraiser box and went into a private room at a bank (i.e., the areas where you open your vault box) to work on it.  He changed into his reptile form and disappeared into Hell.  The bank employees went looking for him and he was gone... to fight the Cenobites whose hooks couldn't penetrate his scaly hide!

2/28/12

[A friend],

I dreamt about you last night.  How the hell are you doing?  And why don't we ever try to hook up like we never quite did in my dream?

I was living in some sort of tiny shack up on a cold cliff.  It was like a dorm room, but I wasn't running the heat because I was so poor.  Apparently I was a grad student.  My next door neighbor was a monster and Chinese.  I don't know how to describe it.  I went to a science convention that I was in town for, and you were signing up people for something and selling copies of a book for someone.  We were going to hang out, but we never got around to it.  [This one turned out to be pretty easy to analyze.  I knew this friend from MySpace and met her on the forums on there, then we kept up with one another until the site died.  She abandoned it before I did, and in fact I stuck around until almost no one posted there anymore (even I didn't bother posting to the site by that time; I was largely going out of habit).  It was like I was the hermit in a little room (read: account/profile) in the wilderness.  Shortly after I wrote her, we talked on the phone for a while.]

3/1/12

I forgot to tell you about the dream I had Saturday night/Sunday morning.  It started out where I was attending what was supposed to be a professional football game, only it wasn't at a stadium.  It was in a full-size field that I now realize was at my junior high, although that didn't feature in the dream.  There were spectators, but we were all just standing around on the edges of the field.  I seemed to be there by myself, but everyone sort of knew one another, much like [the jazz music fest I go to locally], where a lot of people know one another from previous years or live in the neighborhood.  I was talking to a couple different women there.  We were sharing stories about this one amazing play we had seen in an earlier game where a player caught an out-of-bounds pass by putting his hand through a hole in the fence and catching it with one hand.

Maybe because Doug Stanhope is a big football fan (although this never comes up in his act), the dream shifted where I was him, and I decided to go on a canoe trip with some friends through the woods.  (This was at least partly inspired by your pointing out the canoe oars in the shed.)  I was like, "Sure, let's go."  So three other guys and I took a couple canoes into the jungle.  This was based off the streams through the woods that I used to explore in my early teens, although none of them were actually large enough to be traversed by canoe.  At best there were low-lying spots that were two or three feet deep, but those were punctuated by shallow channels that no boat could cross unless it had just stormed.

We made our way though the jungle before coming to a wooden walkway like one might find on a nature trail.  The canoes were forgotten about, and we continued along that.  We came across a roll-top desk that was sitting there in poor-but-salvageable shape.  Curiously, it was next to a set of sliding glass doors alongside the path, as though we were in some sort of giant atrium.  We started to hurry along worried that someone might discover us.

A little further ahead was another set of sliding glass doors just as before.  We could see out of them that there was a futuristic city that was brand new and not yet occupied, as though it hadn't yet opened.  We started rushing ahead even faster to steer clear of whomever was in charge of it.

Just beyond the doors was a small area that looked to be a rest spot along the trail, but in it was a robot and a baby of about six months of age or so.  The robot was in charge of taking care of the baby, but the child was actually fully sentient far beyond his years.  The robot merely had to feed it by placing a hypodermic syringe in its head and injecting a clear liquid.  The baby told us details about the city, but I've forgotten all of them.

5/15/12

Crazy dreams:

I woke up with these fresh in my head, but of course it's hard to ignore both Stan and my dad [who was visiting at the time] and sit down with the Alphasmart when both want to talk about breakfast.

Dream 1: The Earth passed through a nebula that enveloped it.  (Admittedly, this was a very small nebula; most are light years across, whereas this was just enough to envelope the planet and not even touch the moon).  Meteors at the fringes of the nebula followed and pelted the surface of the Earth.  I teleported to somewhere above the earth.  I looked around wondering if there were any others like me who could teleport, and I realized that I could look for the flashes of light from the teleportation.  I found a girl who could teleport, and we watched the meteors hit various places around the Earth.  We flew down to Earth and hung out in a field where we found a little girl of maybe three or four years who had been orphaned, and we adopted her.  I was lying in the field and the little girl was drawing on my arm with a marker.  The teleporting girl pointed out what she was doing, and I told her that it was the most beautiful feeling in the world.

Dream 2: I lived in New York city, only it was very hilly.  I met a girl who wanted to date me, but I told her I didn't want to start going out with her because she lived too far away.  I lived on 5th, and she lived on 8th, so she challenged me to race her to her place (because that would somehow prove that she was close by... as though walking there non-competitively wouldn't?).  We were going to run though the hilly streets, but they were so smooth that I crouched and slid on them on the tips of my fingers and toes down the hills and then ran up the hills the rest of the way until we got to her apartment, which seemed like it was on the outskirts of the city somehow because there was grass in the yard in front of it.

5/25/12

I don't remember much of anything from last night, I had some crazy dreams a couple nights ago.  The best of these (and the only one I was able to remember in any detail) was inspired by the "Modern Family" episode where the ad for Phil's real estate agency on the side of the family van has everyone thinking the mom (and to a lesser extent the daughter) is a prostitute.

In the dream I hooked up with Laura Dern in a hotel room.  She was all business-like, and her kids were even there (a boy and girl about 6 and 9, respectively) who watched tv on a bed across the room while I had sex with their mom against the wall by the door.  I was thinking, "There has to be a better business model than this."  It was too impersonal, and it didn't cater to my interests, just my most basic needs.

I opened a brothel that was built like a haunted house (think Hangman's or someplace similar) where you had to wind your way through the attractions... until you found something you liked.  All the girls were Suicide Girl types, only more goth than that.  They were often in these cardboard dog-house structures that were like some sort of a themed kids' playhouse.  For example, one of them was like an igloo with a large 3D skull on the front like the one they have (had?) on Cutting Edge [another haunted house].  There weren't any beds, which was ironic, considering the nature of the place.  Each girl's area was kind of small, but it was filled with bookshelves with all sorts of fun stuff: Horror novels and comic book collections and old issues of horror comics from way back like Creepy and Eerie.

6/26/12

[A friend],

>I had two of the craziest dreams ever and they both had Seth Rogan in them!  Really?  Seth Rogan.  The first one was a party – I have no idea who was throwing the party, but it was a house I had never been in.  I was in the kitchen making jell-o shots and Seth Rogan came in and started helping and just talking about random stuff.  I didn’t hear a lot of it because it was loud and crowded and I was having sensory overload.

I used to have a lot of "celebs as friends" dreams like this, but it was usually my idols rather than someone who happens to be over-exposed by the media at the moment.  For example, I dreamt that I went over to Clapton's house and watched him show me how to do different guitar licks while his relatively young kids ran around.  Another time I was helping Roger Waters set up a huge concert in the middle of what must have been an abandoned airport.  We were surrounded by a sea of concrete everywhere, but we had trucks full of staging to put together and make something out of.  We just didn't know what we wanted it to look like.

>The next one was like being in a video game.  (That’s the last time I watch [her son] play a video game before I got to bed!)  We were in this old, abandoned building looking for a specific flower this lady on a computer asked us to get.  Apparently there was a greenhouse hidden in this building.  We had to find the flower before we could move forward.  Seth Rogan was on my team and I made him be in front of me so he could deal with any bad guys!  I woke up with my headache just as we found the greenhouse.
The Doom dreams I had back in the '90s were all about the levels.  No purpose to them, just a bunch of rooms and corridors that were epic in scale.  The surprising thing is how it all came to life as a real thing instead of 16-bit graphics.  The walls were colored properly instead of using 64 colors or whatever they were limited to at the time.

8/7/12

My crazy multi-part dream from a few nights ago:

I arrived at an outdoor cafe with a group of three other professionals.  It wasn't clear if we were teachers, lawyers, environmental investigators, or what, but I (with two other guys and a girl) went to some sort of basketball arena that had been devastated by a Katrina-scale storm.  At first we were just presenting our findings as documentary footage at a conference, but then we were completely in the events of the film.

The arena was the last place of refuge for people whose homes had been destroyed by the storm (much like the Superdome following Katrina), and it was occupied by perhaps a hundred or more people.  They were mostly black and dressed like victims of generational Apartheid-like poverty.  They all had ripped clothes and no other possessions.  The roof of the arena was torn open in a number of places around the top, and only the scaffolding remained.  A lot of the people sat up there, and there was even a car driving around on it for fun.  (How it got there was never explained.  It was a sand dune racer).

Suddenly a group of safari hunters started trying to get in and kill everyone.  They had all sorts of hunting rifles, and they surrounded the place and were positioning themselves at every entrance.  We all started scrambling to get to shelter within the corridors of the arena, and we looked for any place that would hide us while we ran about locking and sealing the doors to the building itself.

---

Somehow it shifted to where I was in a classroom or perhaps a bookstore like a Borders where all the books were set out on display tables.  People were sitting around tables talking, when someone walked through with what looked like a garage door opener and started clicking it at people.  One click pointed toward you, followed by turning the remote around and clicking it again, and people would fall over dead.  It was something the robots came up with to kill humans.  The apocalypse had begun.

As soon as people realized what as going on, they started going nuts, running around the room in a panic.  You couldn't tell the humans from robots because they were all skin jobs.  Even the robots couldn't tell without trying the clicker.  If it didn't work, that was another robot.  Everyone was all trapped in the same room, and it was chaos.  There were kids there, and the robots were killing them too.

At the back of the big room was a large storage room where I found a bunch more robots clustered together.  They didn't want to be a part of the killing, especially the robots who had been placed in charge of caring for children.  One of them looked like a middle-aged woman, but her face was destroyed because "she" had been trying to kill herself by hitting some toys into it that she found in the store.  It didn't work beyond simply tearing up the facade of humanity.

The conflict escalated and reached apogee in the next dream....

---

In the remains of an empty warehouse, a warrior battled a huge robot, maybe ten or twelve feet tall.  The robot was humanoid and very agile, especially for his size, much like a Transformers robot from the movies.  The warrior fought him with a 10' circular saw blade attached to a long chain.  He could throw it about like a giant yo-yo, making a strike and reeling it back in with the same motion.  Throughout the battle, an electronic version of "Breaking the Law" played as a soundtrack to the melee.  I remember thinking that I would have to try to re-record what I heard in my dream when I adapted the movie.

When the battle was over, the warrior and I walked toward a makeshift restaurant on the edge of the darkened battlefield.  By this time we were wearing Conan-esque fur underwear and some other barbarian-like ornamentation.

At the "restaurant" (which was just a shack from which someone was serving sandwiches) were a crowd of perhaps 50 or so other barbarian types, including a few women.  It was becoming clear that we had defeated most of the robots but that there were heavy casualties and only a fraction of humanity remained.  Two muscular Asian women announced that they were eager to repopulate with us (meaning me and the other warrior) and the crowd cheered.

---

Somehow I was back with the original group of professionals from the beginning of the dream, and the preceding events were negated, even though we remembered them.  The four of us walked back to the open-air cafe in the town where we started out, and we found that we had left our books on the table, only it had rained in the meantime.  I had left out a copy of a leatherbound book collecting a lot of Renaissance Italian texts and drawings.  Thankfully it wasn't too damaged.

I offered the girl in the group a ride because somehow her car had been lost in the apocalypse (even though most of the town looked fine and seemed to be getting back to normal).  I'm not sure where we were actually going, but in the car we talked about how the events fit into a movie.  We decided that this was a prequel to Blade Runner (which doesn't make any sense, I know) and that it was a sequel to either "I, Robot" or "A.I." (which, again, makes less than no sense).

8/24/12

I kept dreaming that I had to hide ALF from the government and was always just one step ahead of them. 

9/23/12

Last night was torture.  Dani brought Stan in to sleep with her, so I slept in the spare bed in his room.  All night long I kept alternating between hot and cold.  I went to bed fully clothed, then had to take off almost everything because I was burning up.  I kept going back and forth throughout the night only getting a little bit of sleep.  I kept dreaming that the wad of covers was an episode of Adventure Time, and I had to unscramble it to make it useable.  It was horrible.  So almost no sleep even though I was in bed for ten and a half hours.

9/25/12

[A friend],

I am feeling a little better today, but I don't know if it will last.  I went to bed relatively early, but I couldn't sleep so I got up and emailed you and watched an episode of Numb3rs.  It was about Charlie throwing himself into a set of data.  He was obsessing and trying to get control over randomness because his brother had been stabbed by a guy they were chasing a few episodes ago.  No one believed Charlie that there was a serial killer in the data because it was all so random.  He realized that the killer was changing his methodology to obscure his own pattern.  All night long I kept dreaming that I was Charlie and I was constantly going out to crime scenes and even car accidents, all because I needed enough data to see where the real patterns were.

I didn't get a very full night of sleep, but it was more than the night before.  The sheets were soaked with sweat when I got up.  My throat is killing me.  It's so swollen that I have a different voice.  It hurts to talk.

11/20/12

Had a bad night of coughing, so my voice is still terrible.  I had a dream that was a mix of the experience of coughing and looking at the mass of plumbing beneath the house.  I was at an old-time factory full of steam pipes.  They curved around and formed a Giger-esque shape reminiscent of a ribcage.  The police came in to arrest someone named Chris Wilson (for child porn or something like that), who was a man connected to all the machines via tubing going into his abdomen.  Without him the factory wouldn't run almost at all.  We were trying to get air to flow through the tubes, but many were old, thin-walled copper pipes with kinks and huge dents in them.  Many of them were clogged in addition to the damage.  I woke up coughing as we were trying to push air through the pipes.

1/4/13

[My deceased neighbor] Jim came back to life and turned up at his house [which in real life we now own].  He was surprised to find that his sister had gotten rid of so many of his things.  Apparently we had bought the house, although I don't know how that figured into it.  Jim said he was away helping some sort of charity organization (I forget the details).  He literally materialized in front of his house.

1/12/13

I frequently have dreams in which I happen across "closet classic" [guitar] finds.  For example, I dreamt I was driving in the middle of a desert when I came across a guitar shop that had all sorts of Steinberger guitars (which are a rare find in general, and this was a store full of them!).  Many of them were models that were rare, and still others were completely invented in my mind and had all sorts of amazing features such that they practically played themselves.

2/26/13

Three dreams last night:

1) I went to [our regular karaoke bar] for the first time in ages, only it was a completely different place, like a small restaurant.  There was no karaoke.  I talked to one person I knew there (a projection; not based on anyone) who said that they fired the dj (who apparently was a guy) and just hadn't bothered doing karaoke anymore.  The corner where a portable dj set usually rested was empty.  I left with the large group of friends I had brought with me (again, all projections).

2) I was on a Greyhound bus sitting next to some sorority girls and heading to Louisiana to visit my dad.  I was calling a lawyer about selling my house, which was based on [my old house], only it was completely different than that.  It had been in a fire, though most of it was okay. 

3) I was sitting in the front yard of my house (again, invented) when the grass started moving in a spot near me.  I thought at first it was box turtles hatching (fully gown as they had sometime earlier in an imagined dream), but then it seemed like it was snakes.  The snakes turned out to be hands, and a group of at least a half-dozen zombies emerged from the lawn.  I ran across the street to the house where my parents lived (Dani and the kids didn't exist, but somehow both my parents were alive).  I went in and warned them, then tried to fight the zombies using whatever weapons I could find in the foyer like rakes and broomsticks.  I zombies only seemed to come one at a time, and they developed personality and speech during the fight.

4/30/13

Lots of crazy dreams including one where I was hosting a Halloween party.  It wasn't at my house (just a made-up one), and a lot of relatives from Louisiana were there.

5/4/13

Dreamt David Gilmour showed up at my house and decided to hang out for a bit.  We talked about Pink Floyd's music for a while.  At one point we were out on a ledge outside my bedroom window, but instead of the roof of the front porch, we were standing on a concrete slab at least five stories up over a busy intersection.  Stan snuck out the window, and I was trying to get him to come back from one corner of the ledge and climb back into the window.  When I turned around, Gilmour was gone and only his young wife (close to my age) was still standing there.  She said he fell.  We looked down, and his body was lying on the pavement below.  She and I went back inside with me offering condolences, and we both started crying intensely.  A little later in the dream I saw Gilmour on tv talking about how he fell and almost died.

That was one of at least four dreams that night.  I also had one about how I had to memorize all the model numbers and suffices for all the Ibanez guitars (I have been researching the RG and Jem series lately for projects recently), and they were similar to how the Prius recently expanded into several variant models: plug-in, sports car, SUV, etc.

5/5/13

Had a crazy dream that HP Lovecraft's old house was abandoned and haunted.  I broke into it and snuck around.  It was actually [my neighbor's] house on the corner of [the street I grew up on].  Somehow, behind that house, there was a much larger estate that was also supposed to have been Lovecraft's.  There was even another, more experimental house in the front yard of it that was subterranean with only a few windows visible on the ground.  I snuck into the larger house, but I noticed a motion sensor triggered (apparently the place had been converted into a museum), so I ran out and tried to get away.  Eventually I returned, and the building was now occupied as a research center for Lovecraft scholarship.  There were bookshelves full of all sorts of volumes, including sketchbooks full of drawings by HR Giger, and many other seemingly-unrelated books.  Somehow I ended up getting on a bus with a group of high school or college kids and leaving for a summer camp.  When I arrived there, several friends of mine were there, and we had supper around a big table.

5/19/13

I was looking at a house I wanted to buy, a very upscale one that was at once both historic (at least the area/exterior) and modern (interior).  It was an Open House, so many people were looking at it.  It wasn't an auction, but the agents were openly saying they expected it to go for far more than the asking price (e.g., several $100k vs. $60k).  I went into one room in it, and I realized that you could "fly" if you opened your mind in that room.  I started giving seminars in there and teaching people how to let go of gravity.  I/They could become weightless and drift around the room (or rotate about their center of gravity) if they wanted to, although some people were very negative and didn't want to try it.

6/5/13

I dreamt last night that Ed Helms' character on The Office (which we are watching right now) just broke up with his onscreen girlfriend Erin and was passing the time by making "monster" models, all of which were houses: Norman Bates' house, the Munster house, and the Addams Family house.  After I woke up, I did some research on these, and they are all 1/87 (HO) scale, so they actually would look good together.

7/14/13

Had lots of crazy dreams including that I was in my 20s and picking up kids from my old neighborhood to babysit them.  [One of my friends] was a snippy jr. high-age kid.  Had another dream earlier in the night in which a group of college kids were serving breakfast to handicapped people (inspired by a storyline on "House").  One of the girls even served breakfast naked because she thought that would make it even better for the handicapped guys.  This was apparently onboard a space station or some sort of futuristic city (inspired by a story in "Creepy" magazine I was reading right before bed).

8/3/13

Had crazy dreams about working for some big electronics corporation that was almost altogether clueless.  For example, I was placed with a group of low-level execs (all around my age) and we were given a bunch of new dvd players still in the package.  We had no idea what the task was.  A lot of the dream involved us playing politics.  For example, at a staff meeting, one of the bosses gave me a seat that belonged to a more senior employee, who was then offended but was told that he was being moved down the table.  Later in the dream, the company was in trouble, and a big group of us were laid off.  Several of us went to an amusement park, including Kevin (from The Office) who pretended to be a big sea lion laying on the ground making grunting noises which scared and amused children.  Later I went back to the office where I infiltrated all sorts of work spaces including a product testing area that was more like a lab, then the main offices of the highest-level officials in the company before they took my name tag and company phone.

8/26/13

Had a crazy dream that Halloween just snuck up on me.  I had forgotten Halloween night was coming, and I didn't have any candy to give kids.  My decorations weren't even finished.  A swarm of kids descended on the house (which was sort of [my old house] with a garage) when I turned on some colored spotlights to test them.  I even had kids running around inside the house.  It got so bad that I had two cops getting kids out of the house.  The cops said it was a bad night; someone had already been killed and some girls raped, all related to Halloween.  I woke up thinking it was fall and that the weather would be really cool, which as it turned out, it wasn't.

8/29/13

Stella woke me up pretty early this morning from a crazy epic dream based on Moebius and Jodorosky's graphic novel "The Incal."  Huge buildings, people whose anatomy could magically change (e.g., a guy's thumb turned into a key), etc.

9/2/13

Crazy dreams about having to clear land around our house.  Apparently there were several other pieces of land I owned that were adjacent to it that had houses on them.  Lots of big branches and even junk around there that needed to be collected and chopped up.  Next door to one of the houses was a long, empty industrial building.  It turned out a high school was on the other side of that.  Stan and Stella (who was just beginning to walk [though she wasn't even 5 m.o. when I dreamed this]) explored it with me.  Stella would even go to the edge of the top of the building and drop off so I could catch her.

9/21/13

Had intense crazy dreams in which I was at a mall, then went to a huge water slide that had supposedly been carved out of rock over the years.  It had been worn smooth from so much use that you could slide right down it like it was polished fiberglass.  [One of my friends] was there (except she was flat-chested) in a gold C-3PO bathing suit.  Eventually I went on to other places nearby which turned out to be a huge park like Disney World.  I ran into some of my relatives, and it turned into a family reunion, even though they were from opposite sides of my family.  [The identities and relationships were also jumbled or just plain wrong.  For example:]  [One of my cousins by marriage] was there (only it wasn't her), and she was [another cousin]'s mom (instead of her aunt).  Then [my uncle]'s sons were there and got along [which they don't in real life].  [The younger one] was a short guy who acted crazy.  He had married a young Asian woman, and they had a two year-old boy [none of which is true in reality].

9/23/13

Had a dream in which I ran into [a girl I knew from jr. high/high school].  We were best friends now and sort-of dating.  I decided to reveal to her that she was Ally McBeal (which she apparently was and didn't know it).  I ran all over the house we lived in looking for the video camera to record her reaction, but I couldn't find it.

9/29/13

Had loads of dreams, but I don't remember most of them.  In one, I met a girl who was a total stranger, and I convinced her I was an amazing lover.  We made out briefly, and it was likely going to lead to more, but I woke up before it progressed.

10/13/13

Crazy dreams about posing as a businessman at a hotel (think someplace like Doubletree in Dallas) with a Mexican guy I hired off a work crew cleaning up a run-down property I just acquired.  He and I dressed up in business suits.  He hardly spoke any English, but I would just direct him where to go with me.  We ended up in the one area outside of some elevators where I spotted [a girl I knew from college] with another girl, both in formal business attire.  They were at a table working on a project on their laptops.  I went up to her and got her to kiss me.  Ended up being a long, passionate kiss.  Then I got in the elevator with "Guermo" (looked like the guy from Jimmy Kimmel) and left.  I woke up very soon after that, remembered the dream, and thought to myself, "That was a good dream."

Also had a dream before that one in which [my ex] and I sat down and talked for a long time.  I had cancer and was going to die soon, but I didn't tell her that (though I had a cane).  Conversation didn't go very well; we mostly argued.

11/1/13

I was falling asleep feeding Stella and kept micro-napping.  At one point I dreamed that there was a species of birds who had only one leg, and I wondered why that wasn't true of all birds (presumably because they only need to stand when they aren't flying, and don't need to walk since they can fly).

11/10/13

Crazy bunch of dreams about living in [the rural town where I spent my teenage years], how we set up a barricade to keep people from coming down our road and onto our property.  In the end we were shooting at people and they kept coming.  [One of the bartenders from the karaoke bar] was leading a wave of armed children toward our house.

11/29/13

Had some wild dreams.  In one I was at Toys R Us looking at a new line of Scooby Doo figures.  It was something about how there were "good" and "evil" versions of each character (including all the bad guys and the Scooby gang).  They also came with some maroon slime that apparently they sloughed off when they transformed.  The only interesting bad guy I remember was the Headless Horseman.  The good version looked like a happy pumpkin, while the evil version looked more like Halloween Jack [an evil pumpkin-headed character I made as a Halloween decoration].  Same thing with the "evil" versions of the Scooby gang; they had jagged, lightning-like features.

In another dream I was exploring an area similar to Skull Creek [an undeveloped subdivision that we used to explore in college; it was the source of a lot of local urban legends].  It was a crew of me and three other guys (all projections; no real identity) who were sort of ghost investigators.  We drove around a bit, but when we left there were some kids and their parents who were about to go into the woods.  There was an area set up with glow-in-the-dark decorations and blacklights, strangely situated outside the woods.  Also, the trail was called "Cooper's Trail" after Agent Dale Cooper on Twin Peaks, and it had a similar vibe to it in that there was a supernatural secret in the woods.

12/1/13

Really wild dreams:

1) This was the first dream, so it's vague and hard to remember, but there was something about how I was with a group of pre-teens, and one of them accidentally got killed by clowning around.  Rather than get the police involved (because we were worried that we would get the blame somehow even though it was entirely his fault), we threw his body in the lake (or river?) we were playing around, and I dropped this piece of metal fencing on top of it.  The plan was to just keep him hidden until we were away, but I realized that it could hold the body down there forever and it wouldn't be found for months or years. 

2) I was in an office building and I took a different elevator than the guy I came in with because I worked above the 10th floor.  He worked on the 10th, and there were different elevators than that.  (I thought this was connected to the previous dream somehow, but can't see the connection now.)

3) I was at a fairly expensive house swimming in a small saltwater pool in the back yard with the lady who owned the place.  I had this divergent mental state of supposedly knowing her and her husband while in the dream realizing I had no recollection of any history with these people.  She was telling me that her husband had killed himself a few months ago, and she was now going to put the house on the market for 20 million, (which I thought was excessive since the house was barely worth a million).

4) I took Stella to see a new Star Wars movie, only it really wasn't clear where it fit in the chronology.  I remember thinking in the dream that it was too soon for the newest (i.e., JJ Abrams) movie to come out, but that they were also making the in-between movies about when the characters were young, so maybe that was what I was watching.  (This is actually a recurring theme in my dreams.  I go to the movies and either don't know what I'm going to see or they end up showing something different from what I'm expecting.)  This movie appeared to be a sequel to the prequels: Anakin wasn't Darth Vader, but instead had settled down on Tatooine with Padme.  He was in his 40s and wore glasses (even though no one in Star Wars wears glasses).  He lived in the house that Luke grew up in (which doesn't really make sense since that was Owen's), but it had expanded and was now sort of a compound.  He even had four land speeders around it, all the big kind you see in the Lars' garage in the first movie, not Luke's open-top brown model.  There didn't seem to be any plot to the movie, just Anakin talking to someone about how he didn't want to go on any more adventures.  I also remember that the opening credits were just close-ups of R2D2's "face" and "chest."  I had Stella on my lap the whole time with only half a bottle of formula, and I worried she would start crying during the movie since the odds were against me that she wouldn't get hungry again, even if she fell asleep in the movie.  There was also some weird stuff in the beginning of the dream were I was swapping seats with a lady my age and her mom so I could get a seat closer to the center.  Even then, we were sitting almost at the very front of the theater right up against the screen.

5) I was driving through a neighborhood with Stella and Shadow [one of my cats], and I pulled over and stopped, then went up against the side of a house, got out a video camera, and started filming myself doing sketches from Pee Wee's Playhouse.  (Or at least that's what my brain says they were; I don't remember what I was doing.)  Apparently I made money doing this.  [One of my old professors from grad school] pulled up with his under-12 daughter in the car (reality: he only has a son who is around my age), and he sat on the curb across the street talking education history/philosophy with me while I was working on the sketches.  Eventually he just laid down on the curb in front of the house across the street and fell asleep.  The people who owned it came out briefly and looked things over (probably because we were having to talk loudly back and forth across the street), then went back inside.  I don't know why, but I went over to their house and started spraying a layer of white paint (almost like fake window frosting) along the top front edge of the house, presumably to keep it cooler in the summer, even though I didn't know these people at all.  I think the point was that [the professor] was trying to recuit me back into the grad program, and I was reluctant.  I remember thinking to myself that I was Pee Wee Herman and could always fall back on that, but then I remembered in the dream that I wasn't actually Pee Wee Herman or even officially endorsed by him in any way!  Other than when they pulled up in the car, I never saw [the professor]'s daughter again, but during the whole dream, I kept moving Stella (who was less than 3 months old; an idea probably triggered because I have been showing Dad the pictures I put on his hard drive that go back several months to when she was almost new-born) around with me wherever I went, and Shadow always followed me around.

12/2/13

Again with the crazy dreams.  This set was unique in that they all featured real people instead of just movie characters:

1) We lived in a different house that was supposed to still be in the same location.  However, we were surrounded by large houses, and not on the corner.  I was in my back yard (which had large houses on every side) and ran into my deceased neighbor Jim.  He had been away but came back.  He was homeless because we had bought his house while he was away, and now he didn't have anywhere to live, so he was just wandering the streets.  He and I talked, then Dani came out for a bit and I suggested she make him something to eat.  She made him the same sandwich I ate last night at Dad's (roast beef and Swiss).  The cats were outside milling around too, and I gathered them up and brought them inside.  Eventually I had to leave to take Stan to daycare (Stella apparently didn't exist).  Dani asked me if I thought we should just get Stan an extra jacket that he could leave at daycare (which doesn't make sense since he only needs a jacket coming and going), and I felt guilty that we had money to spend on something relatively trivial when Jim was living on the streets now.

2) Again I was in a different house, and I was wandering around outside.  The house looked a lot more like the smaller, older homes in New Orleans, like Mom's old house before she and Dad married.  The one in my dream had a concrete backyard like hers.  Somehow Stan had climbed up on the roof and was even playing on the wires leading to the service main.  Instead of it just being the 3 wires, there was a whole web of them that he could climb around upon.  I yelled at him and even had to climb up and get him, but I knew he was fearless and did things like that all the time (in the dream).  Several others (maybe Dani and [another friend]) observed the same about Stan.  It was just accepted that he was prone to stunts like this, even though in the dream he was only 3.

3) I had a crazy mix of me in "Orange is the New Black" set in the '30s (like maybe Shawshank, but different).  I was going to prison for 15 months (same as in "Orange"), although at another point in the dream it switched to 11 years.  I dreamt that I was in a visiting area in the courthouse with Dani.  Everything was '30s style, including what Dani was wearing.  We were visiting, but I was separated from here like we were in two different cubicles.  A woman passed through who was supposedly a judge, and she went up to another couple and told the man he could go free.  When she got to me she said I couldn't.  We asked her why, and she said it was because I wasn't hugging my wife.  I pointed out that I couldn't because we were separated by the partition, but she didn't care.  Later I was in a line with 20 or so other prisoners, and one of them was being dramatic.  He was yelling things and making a scene, and I pointed out that it sounded like poetry.  He and the other prisoners laughed, and he calmed down and decided it would start turning his throughts into poetry.

12/3/13

Note: Regarding dreaming while I was at Dad's: I didn't write down things for every day, but most of them were very productive for dreaming.  I had the advantage of sleeping a long time at a stretch, then waking up slowly rather than to children screaming.  Those two elements seems to be of the most importance in having intense dreams and recalling them.  Specifically, I need a lot of sleep to have the dreams, then have to wake up gradually and naturally in order to remember them.

12/14/13

Bunch of dreams:

In one I was watching weird porn.  Three she-males (which actually just looked completely like women with dicks; all three were alike too) were having sex with three women bent over with their asses in the air.  The she-males were whipping them.  I was thinking, "How did I end up on this channel?"  Someone walked in, like a girlfriend of something.  I told her I was watching porn, and we decided to have sex.  As we're having sex, I notice she looks exactly like my ex (which was prompted by finding the videotape the other day that [my ex wife] made giving a tour of our old house), and I thought, "That's not right."  I mentally started changing her into [her college roommate].  I remember adjusting her eyes to make them more like [the roommate]'s, got her hair darker, etc.

In another dream a bunch of people were on a space station.  One of them was a guy who looked like he was in his 60s and was going to retire.  He was getting off the space station and told them to drop him off in Antarctica because he hadn't seen it before.  They pointed out that he didn't have any supplies and wasn't dressed warmly enough.

12/15/13

Had a dream that I was exploring tunnels with someone who was supposed to be a young Martin Scorsese.  I was demonstrating different flow patterns in the tunnel, how when the water went back uphill it slowed down, then sped up past the hill.  We eventually came out inside an old battleship that had young recruits on it, but we pretended to be higher-ranking than they were and passed among them without incident.  Oddly enough, the ship was mostly made of wood and was very cramped inside.

12/22/13

Whole string of crazy dreams:

1) I met up with Doug Stanhope and a friend of his, an old guy who looked a bit like Hershel from "Walking Dead."  They had been friends a long time, although I don't know the connection.  We all met up just off the side of the road on a country highway in our cars.  An older lady pulled up who knew them.  She was into me, and I wanted to hang out with them, but I told them I had a biochemistry exam the next day that I needed to study for.  They said they were going to be at the 7-11 hanging out later.  I was hoping to study some then meet up with them, and I realized I should have gotten the lady's name and number before I left in case I couldn't make it later that night.

2) I was at my Dad's new house (which was completely made up; a new construction near a lake), and I noticed the plumbing was leaking.  It wasn't spraying everywhere, but water was coming up from under the floor, getting the walls wet.  I was going to try fixing it, but Dad said not to because it was cheaper to have someone else fix it due to tax breaks, which really didn't make any sense.

3) As I was talking to Dad, we were outside next to the lake, and I was watching all these weird experimental aircraft fly around.  Most were very small, lots of unconventional designs.  One of them looked like a small aquatic hovecraft, a bit like a speed boat, and it landed on the lake.

4) I was driving through Las Vegas when I heard on the radio that 100,000 troops had been killed in Iraq by alien invaders.  I looked up, and there was a "saucer" (which was actually more like a 3D polyhedron a la M.C. Escher) [I had been looking through books of M.C. Escher's works with my son earlier] over Vegas.  I went into a shop owned by an alien, and he was ejecting all the human customers saying it was alien territory now and humans weren't allowed.  I went in anyway, and we went to a back room where he lived.  He was apparently an important alien, and he lived with two other wise aliens.  They all looked vaguely like the "Mars Attacks" aliens.  They had shriveled orange or red faces and were very short.  In the back room there was a simple bed with a few chairs.  Under the bed was a ghost cat which flew up threw the bed and sat on it.

5) Next thing I knew, I was taking the biochemistry exam.  It was in an abandoned retail space, like an old carpet store.  The floor was carpeted and the lighting was really too poor to try to take an exam in.  I got the exam and had no idea about any of it.  Instead of multiple choice like the previous 3 exams, this was all short answer or essay.  You could hear the 50 or so students gasp when they received it.  But to make things more reasonable, the professor handed back a bunch of study guides we had done previously in our class.  However, when I got mine, it wasn't mine at all.  I called the prof over, and he tried to find mine.  He mixed other study guides up between students, but mine never turned up.  So he went to a closet at the back of the room where textbooks were kept, and pulled out what looked like a solution guide to the textbook problems, only it was a book about super heroes.  The first half of it was DC heroes, then it switched over to Marvel characters, all in action scenes.  The first question on the exam was something about insect venom, so I started looking through the book for things about the Wasp (from the Avengers), even though technically she doesn't do anything with venom.  I'm pretty sure I turned in the test almost completely blank and failed the class.


Bonus section: College dreams!

These are excepts from the emails I still have between my old roommate and I after I transfered to a different school.  There are some gaps in here because I apparently didn't collect all of them from this period (which was a very labor-intensive process at the time).  Anything in 2nd-person is talking to him.

10/9/94

Fri. night I had a dream about [my post-high school girlfriend].  I dreamt that you and I were in some clothing store (it looked really crappy -imagine K-mart clothes on K-mart clothes racks in a store about the size of the Limited with all the walls painted a drab yellow color).  I turned around and saw [exgirlfriend]'s mom (remarkably, even though I hadn't seen her in about two years, she looked just like her in my dream) standing behind me looking at clothes.  I wasn't sure it was her, but she saw me and said hi and told me to stick around, that [exgirlfriend] was coming in a minute.  You had the right idea and started for the door as soon as she started talking, but I couldn't get away in time and [exgirlfriend] came in just as I was turning to leave.  She used to have long blond hair, but in my dream she had it cut to just above her shoulders with a really wavy perm and (really strange) she had these splotches of color in a small patch of her hair on the right side of her head.  They (the splotches) were all bright colors just like the tye dye she was wearing.  She was about 6'1" and had her youngest sister with her (who is in reality the exact height that [exgirlfriend] was in the dream only her sister was [exgirlfriend]'s height in reality).  [exgirlfriend] and her sis both came up and hugged me and I was nice and talked for a second but told them I had to go.  She said to wait that her boyfriend would be along shortly and just as she said that he was walking up.  He had a mustache, but otherwise looked like a nice guy so I hugged him, which he didn't know what to make of and [exgirlfriend] and her family just laughed.  I'm not sure what it all means, but I think it's got something to do with me letting her go.

[This actually reads as a close approximation of an event involving her from several years before.  She and I broke up shortly after I started college.  We didn't have any contact for a while, then she started writing me (and I back) after I sent her a "get well" card following a car accident.  We ran into one another at Walmart, several months later, and she got ticked because I was avoiding her.  Writing occasionally was fine with me, but I didn't want any contact because she wanted to get back together.  She quit writing for a long time, but she used to look up my dorm room number and call it every once in a while, like maybe once a year or every other year, maybe between boyfriends or something.  I remember hearing about a couple boyfriends in her letters, and that must have been rattling around in my brain before it popped up in a dream after not seeing her for two years at this point.]

10/13/94

I dreamt about us last night.  Somehow you sent out some sort of cryptic, gothic message via e-mail onto everybody's machine and it gave some kid a heart attack or made him kill himself or something.  I read it on my calculator (I don't know how it got there) and [my ex-roommate before the one I was writing to] read it on his machine and was mad that you put it there.  You came over to my room (we both lived in [the dorm I was living in at the time], but you lived in another building about two units down) and the police came over to my room and asked us questions about the message and told us it had killed some kid.  Then I think I woke up.  Weird.

10/21/94

I was taking a nap the other evening before supper and I was dreaming that I was driving.  My alarm went off and I was trying to decide (in my dream) whether to let go of the steering wheel to reach for the alarm or to keep driving.  I reached for the alarm before I was fully awake and in my dream I went off of a cliff I was driving past.  I hate it when that happens!

11/10/94

I dreamt that we went to a Chinese restaurant where all they served was ice cream unless you were getting take out, then you could actually get Chinese food.  Then we were up on this platform about two stories high in the back yard of my old house where I used to live next door to a crazy Philippinos [This is true.  My neighbors were both from the Philippines and either crazy or just stupid].  One of them kept coming out of his back door and yelling at us to stop yelling, so we started talking lower.  He still kept coming out of his house and telling us to stop yelling.  Finally we just didn't say anything at all and he came out again, so we waited for him to go back inside and went after him and blew up their house.  Roasted dog meat flew everywhere.

11/11/94

Last night I finished the book for my English class.  It was pretty sad, but it had a happy ending.  Then I went to sleep and dreamt that I was in this old house that was on a platform on the lake (I think it was one of the lakes around campus, only there were a bunch of industrial looking buildings around it).  The platform that the house was on could move across the water because it was attached to this rusty old mechanical arm.  I happened to be in the house with a couple of people (actually the house was three stories tall and filled with people all over in different rooms) and it started moving very quickly across the surface of the water and then it began spinning on the platform as well.  For a while I was really afraid that the whole house was going to fall off of the platform or that the rusty old mechanical arm was going to break, but the house finally slowed down and stopped.

11/14/94

Last night I dreamt that I was on [the university's] campus (imagine that!) and (as in all my dreams on this subject) the place was not only huge, but actually a city.  However, it was run by futuristic police and I was part of a rebel group who ran around breaking the rules, the first of which was running around and breaking the rules.  Anyway, I got arrested and woke up, but you had to be there to see how cool everything looked.  It was just like being in a GI Joe cartoon in Cobra's secret base.

11/17/94

Tell [our old next-door neighbor] I dreamt about her.  I dreamt that she made a yearbook for her school and that she, [her roommate], and two other girls were on the cover, all of them about 9 or 10 years old except for [her roommate] who was about 6.  [The neighbor] explained that that was because she wanted to get [her roommate] off of the cover altogether, but that was the best she could do.  Go figure.

12/7/94

Speaking of masses of cells: I forgot to tell you, the night before last, after looking at all of those baby books, I dreamt that [my ex-wife, who I was dating at the time; hereafter refered to as my ex] and I had kids.  Actually, they were [her aunt and uncle's] kids, the ones we always go over and play with.  There wasn't a plot to it or anything, it was just me, my wife, and our kids, two or three of them.  Last night I dreamt about having kids again.  This time I was going on some kind of camping trip in this new town that I had moved to.  A lot of the kids in the town, both boys and girls, would get on this little sailboat (just like the ones we were playing on out by your house) and their scoutmaster ([???don't recognize this girls' name]'s alcoholic step-dad) would take them out to wherever they were camping.  In my dream I was just going with them, but it turned out later that [my ex] had come along as well.  It was only three boys (about the ages of [same girl]'s little bros, strangely enough) except for one girl who was really [my ex] about age ten to twelve, only she wore glasses.  I was absolutely in love with her.  [My ex] loved her too.  I think I would have fallen in love with [my ex] no matter how old either of us were when we met if it was under the right circumstances.

2/6/95

I had a wet dream last night that I was on "Northern Exposure," a show that I've only seem maybe twice in my entire life.  I was the doctor character (actually he's not a doctor on the show anymore) and [my ex] was his girlfriend's character (and consequently my girlfriend).  We were in some really rundown cabin in the woods and I was telling her some made-up sounding story about how this guy had broken into the cabin years ago and raped this woman, only she liked it and tried to help him get off.  I was making [my ex] help me re-enact it by having her stand behind me and reach around me and give me a hand job.  The funny thing was that when I ejaculated I was facing a wall, standing about 3 or 4 ft from it and my come came out like a firehose for about 5 seconds and knocked 1 or 2 of the shelves off of the wall.  Then I woke up and changed my underwear.

2/7/95

Last night I dreamt that [my ex] was either a gynecologist or some sort of researcher because she knew a lot of stuff about AIDS.  Somehow we ended up at one of Madonna's old houses and [my ex] found some organic matter (hair, I think) and analyzed it right there on the spot with some chemicals and told me that Madonna had AIDS.  I totally freaked out.  I remember thinking all kinds of stuff like who she might have caught it from, who she might have given it to and stuff like how [my ex] and I were sitting on the biggest news in the world right now.  I couldn't believe it.  I woke up this morning feeling the same as I did after I had that dream about killing that woman, only I didn't remember the dream until [a girl I worked with on campus] had told me about hers.  God, what a morning.

[Note: My roommate was obsessed with Madonna at the time.]

2/8/95

Last night I dreamt that I was in some new dorm (it was really gothic looking) and I was living there either by myself or (I'm not really sure) with [a guy I worked with on campus at the time] and his former roommate who is an asshole.  I dreamt that [the guy]'s girlfriend was pregnant and that he was going to stick by her even though he wasn't sure that it was his kid.  I was digging in my closet looking for my b-day cake and some red beans that I thought that they had hidden from me when [the asshole roommate] started making fun of my shirt.  Granted, it was an ugly shirt, but I decided to hurt him anyway.  I went over and put a pillow over his head (he was laying in bed) and told him I was going to show him a trick (he believed me too).  I grabbed a baseball, put it in a sock and started swinging it into his stomach (a la "Full Metal Jacket").  I don't think it's a coincidence that I also happened to see a part of "A Few Good Men" passing through the lobby last night and that I threw our Beck ball at the wall this morning to wake up dumbass and get him to shut off his alarm.  [Note: I have no idea what the Beck ball was; it's definitely a reference to the singer of "Loser"]

2/11/95

I dreamt that my [dorm] room was arranged slightly different than it really is.  Imagine if you cut my room at the head of the beds and made that the end up against the wall where the door into the hallway was and took the closets and moved them to the other end of the room.  In my dream I was sleeping and something woke me up for a minute and I decided to get up and go to the bathroom.  Since the door out of the room was right there by the bed I could just reach up and see if anyone was outside in the hall.

I opened up the door (I was still laying in bed) and saw this girl walking toward the other end away from me.  I decided I would just wait for her to leave and then I would go to the bathroom cause I didn't want her to see me in my underwear (normally I just put a pair of shorts on to go to the bathroom).  I sort of went back to sleep in the meantime (remember this is all in my dream; I never woke up to experience any of this).

A few minutes later the same girl came and started walking into my room and I looked up and saw her and told her that she had the wrong room.  She looked at me and told me that she had the right room and used my name somewhere in that sentence, so I figured she knew me.  The girl who I'm picturing doing all of this is in reality a girl who I see around [the sorority girls dorm; one of my friends (very non-sorority though) lived there], but is really very quiet and withdrawn, though not really mousy.

She then came all the way into my room and told me that she had been sent there to wake me up (she never did say by whom).  Then she crawled into bed and we started fooling around immediately and I had her completely naked in less than 30 seconds from the time she walked in.  We continued fooling around and occasionally she would start laughing or talking loudly and I would tell her to be quiet because she was going to wake my roommate up.

I think I surprised me semi-conscious mind when my unconscious dream creating part of my mind said that because I had to look over and see what I was talking about.  *[my ex]* was in the other bed!

Why is that so weird?  Because the girl I was fooling around with, while not [my ex] in name, was accepted by my unconscious as [my ex] because she looked like her naked (especially her nipples, that's why I thought it was her).  Now all the parts of my mind were trying to figure out what was going on and must have given up because the next thing I remember thinking was that it sure was great to be climbing all over a naked woman who looked just like [my ex] and I had a wet dream.

Also, I dreamt that I bought another guitar and was running around and playing "Where the Streets Have No Name" at some sort of Martin Luther King Day thing in the quad because I thought that song was about him.  Yes, U2 did write a song about MLK, but that was "Pride (In the Name of Love)."  I'm just a little mixed up after studying chem all night and trying to have erotic dreams.  For some strange reason I dreamt all about organic synthesis reactions and knew even in deep sleep that an alkylation reaction between an aromatic structure and an alkyl halide could be catalyzed by AlCl3.

Still don't know why I bought that guitar in my dream.  It was really funny looking for a Fender, but it was supposed to be one.  You know how the pickups each have six little metal circles lined up with the strings?  Mine had a different # of circles on each pickup; 6, 3, and 5 on each one from the neck pickup to the bridge pickup.  Also it looked more like one of the guitars Van Halen's been using for the last 5 years.

2/14/95

This afternoon I dreamt that I went over to [my friend]'s dad's house and she was carrying a baby (in her arms, not her womb).  The baby was actually her, but she was also carrying it.  Then she handed me the baby and it wasn't her anymore and it was some other really quiet, intelligent baby and it looked around at everything.  Then my alarm clock went off and I woke up and went to cell bio.

Last night I dreamt that the building where the chem library is at [my school] was where [a different building at my old school] was.  I went over to it and I found out that it was Playboy magazine's library.  I went in there and walked up and down the stairwell and found that along the wall there were words going up the wall alphabetically to way you would find words at the top of a page in the dictionary.  These showed you what keywords you could find on that floor.  Funny thing was that most of the words were "sex-"something.  I got off on the floor marked "breasts" and saw all of these books that were $350 each.  The best one was a bunch of pictures of Anne Margaret topless taken by David Bowie.  I should have taped it for you.

2/15/95

The other night I dreamt that I was talking on the phone with Stacey.  I was being really nice to her, but I think anyone listening could tell that I wanted to get off of the phone with her.  I also dreamt that I was at [my ex]'s house and her brother was raising rats at [their family's business].  He fed them chocolate, so I think that was what made them that uniform brown color.  Then I was back over at their house again and I was standing by this ancient refrigerator with [my ex] and her dad.  I was eating some skittles and I dropped a few and them went under the fridge and set the thing on fire.  [My ex]'s dad just said that that happens every time you drop skittles under there.  OK.

Last night I dreamt that I was in the long hallway of the building where I have my comp sci class.  I was in there with my friend [a geology major I had a crush on] from last semester and a bunch of animals in boxes (she was some kind of zookeeper or something).  I was holding this box that had a cat in it that was trying to get out.  The box was made of wood on 5 sides and had a plexiglass panel on the other side.  The cat was moving its paws furiously at the box and had managed to nearly get the glass part open.  I was screaming for [my friend] (who was at the other end of the hall) to help me because the cat had (through natural selection) gotten the ability to open plexiglass doors through the "piano reflex" (as I called it).  The reason why I called it the piano reflex was because the cat was swinging its paws in such a way as to look like it was playing the piano.  I had a good laugh about that this morning.

2/16/95

Last night I dreamt that I was in the building that I work in and it was still 7 stories high, but it only was about as big around as one avg size class room.  Whenever the wind blew the whole building would sway.  I dreamt that I was up there with [a professor I had at the university I transfered from] (had him for botany and microbiology) and was in some really advanced class of his.  Then he and I went to McDonalds in some town I've never been to before, but wouldn't mind moving to, then I woke up.

2/19/95

Speaking of fat chicks:  Last night I asked [my ex] what she thought of [a girl who used to stalk me].  She said she wasn't at all how she pictured her.  I asked her how she pictured her.  [my ex] said, "Oh, kind of tall with curly brown hair."  I thought that's what [my stalker] looked like.  What the hell's going on here?

As a result of that conversation last night I dreamt that I was going to most back into [my old dorm where my roommate and I lived together] because I had flunked out of [the school I transfered to] and we were going to move into [my previous roommate]'s old room and you were letting [another student] have 303.  Apparently [my previous roommate] was just graduating and his room was now officially vacant.  [The stalker] was standing in [my next-door neighbor]'s old room next to [my previous roommate]'s and somehow I ended up in there talking to her.  She looked betrayed by the fact that I moved away just when [my previous roommate] had left (in reality, but in my dream, as I said, he was just graduating) and now I was moving back in just as she was graduating.

2/20/95

This afternoon I made it back to my room 15 mins early because my comp sci teach didn't want to talk anymore and I got to take a nap.  I dreamt I was writing the screenplay for a movie I was going to call "An Alien is Digging in My Medicine Cabinet."  See what you can make of that one.

3/6/95

I dreamt last night that I forgot to go to a class for half a semester and realized that I had to drop it.  The reason was because I had been going to the wrong class for most of the semester at a different time.  It was really fucked up.  I wish it sounded as weird as it felt.  Got to meet [a guy I worked with]'s girlfriend in the dream as well (I had the class with him).  I liked her looks, but didn't talk to her much.  [In reality she went to a different school, so I never met her.  He talked about her occasionally, but she was sort of a mystery to us.  The next year he transfered to where she went to school.]

3/9/95

So last night I dreamt that I was sitting down somewhere and this really crazy girl who works in the bio dept office sat down next to me and started talking.  She took off her sweatshirt and has going to put on another shirt in a minute, but (even though she had her back to me) she was completely topless.  She just sat there like that (still with her back to me) for a bit and kept telling me that I couldn't see her tits.  I told her I wasn't going to go for that shit so I pulled her down next to me and kissed her.  Then I pinched her nipple and then sucked it.  I realized that I was about to have an orgasm (I was getting ready to have a wet dream) and I thought to myself, "Oh no, I can't believe I'm turning into one of those guys who blows it every time he gets near a girl!"  Then I blew it and woke myself up in the process.

I got up, changed my underwear and went back to sleep.  After my alarm went off I fell back asleep again (pretty rare for me considering I usually keep looking at the clock every time I wake up and I still have a hour or so left to sleep).  During that short time between when the 1st alarm went off til the 2nd one did I managed to have to coolest dream of the month (I can say that already even though it's only half over).

I dreamt that we were standing in the parking lot of [my dorm] some time just before dawn talking.  I was laying on the roof of my car staring up at the stars (what few there were through the breaks in the clouds) and you were standing leaning up against the side of the car and looking up at the sky too.  One of us said, "Hey, look at the way those stars are moving!"  There was this patch of stars that seemed to move about very slowly the way a cloud would.  We watched it a second and realized that a whole bunch of the stars were moving and others underneath the moving patch weren't.

We watched totally amazed and then realized that it was a spaceship, but it was totally disguised against the night sky by looking like stars.  Then, all of a sudden, it just sort of jumped across the sky and disappeared and this huge noise totally filling the sky.  It sounded like a laser bolt, but was as loud as your above-average thunder crash.  I was totally blow away by the sound because I realized in my dream that that was the sound I and the rest of the people in [the town where I grew up] had been hearing for years and was a mystery of the town.  Pretty wicked, huh?

8/31/95

Last night I dreamt that my dad died, I got a C3PO wall decoration made out of gold-plated aluminum pie plates, and my dog had 3 puppies and 2 egrets.

9/10/95

I ended up sleeping until 11:30, but I woke up around 4, and again at 6:30, 8:15, 9:15, and 10:15 before I finally got up around 11:30 and listened to White Zombie.  I did dream that [a girl I was friends with] and some friend of hers were chasing me around some town (each had a .38) and I ran back to the Grateful Dead's house (they all lived together like the Partridge Family).  I had taken over Jerry Garcia's room since he died and I ran up there and tried to call the police to keep [my friend] from shooting me, but the operator wouldn't connect me because she wanted to know what was going on, so I ended up hanging up on her and waking up from my dream from fright.  It was pretty creepy.  [My ex] dreamt something along similar lines where people were chasing her, but no one she knew.  I attribute this to the fact that both of us worked this weekend because I dreamt about that too.

9/27/95

In chem I kept falling asleep.  He was talking about spectroscopy and doing the NRM stuff so he started talking about the effects of e-negative atoms on the H's of the molecule.  I think there must have been an arrangement in the molecule in his example with 2 Cl's and an O because I dream that the O atom was Dracula and that his brides were twin sisters named Chlorine and they were trying to lay on opposing sides of him as he closed the coffin lid, but he couldn't because there wasn't enough room.  That is probably the 2nd weirdest dream I've had in organic chem, the 1st being the one I had last fall where I realized that molecules are reacting all the time so there must be an alternate universe where they can go to take a break from reacting.

10/6/95

I dreamt that a girl from the acting class was sitting next to me taking notes and I looked to see what kind of a system she used.  Most people have some kind of shorthand, but for large and difficult concepts she used the "Bunny" system.  Everything in her notes was called some kind of a bunny.  I don't know what the notes meant, but she had things written like "Froggie-Bunny" and "Bunny-Bunny."  It was outright weird.

10/17/95

The night before last I dreamt that I was talking to my mom, then I went inside my house and I saw my mom again, but I knew it wasn't my mom... It was Satan disguised as my mom.

10/18/95

Last night I dreamt that I was at my mom and dad's wedding in 1972.  My mom wasn't wearing a wedding dress though, it was fashionable, but it looked more like she was hosting a party than getting married.  I didn't see my dad there, but I saw my aunt and one of my cousins, only she was the same age as I am (which didn't make sense because she's my age right now in 1995).  I was cleaning up after the reception (I think it might have still been going on, but I'm not sure).  I was trying to get all of the rainwater out of the beef stew.  Analyze that one why don't you.

11/1/95

I woke up this morning and realized that I dreamt that [my ex's cousin] had moved into my dorm with [my ex] and I.  It was my dorm, but it was set up a lot different although it was decorated the same way.  [my ex] and I had separate rooms as did [her cousin], but strangely enough I liked her [the cousin; in reality she wasn't well-liked] in my dream and I hung out in her room a lot and she was pretty cool to talk to.  [My ex] hated her even more than I do now, so everything was really turned around.  I used to dream stuff like this a lot where I hung around with someone in high school who I never liked.  This was just too weird. 

True story: At the symphony [which their grandfather took us to shortly before this] I was sitting next to [my ex], and [her cousin]'s friends who happened to be there came over to sit at our table.  I was sitting on the end, but they brought their own chairs and sat down.  A wanted to sit by them so she came over and asked me and [my ex] to scoot down one, leaving me sitting next to A all night.  Just as [my ex] started to get up I said, "Wait a sec, why don't I just move to the other side of you."  [My ex] couldn't keep from laughing, but at least I didn't have to sit next to her and I got to stay by [my ex] anyway.

11/7/95

Speaking of which, last night I dreamt that I was at some swimming pool only it was really the Gulf of Mexico, and [my ex] and I were going skinny dipping in it.  We threw off our clothes and climbed into it and it was about 4 ft deep where we got in and we started swimming around.  It was pretty warm and it felt really weird knowing that I was really dry, but dreaming that I was in warm water.  After we swam for a bit [a friend of mine] (the guy who lives in my dorm who I played guitar with for a little bit last night) came out by the "pool" and [my ex] and I pretended we weren't skinny dipping and [my friend] says that the water looks really warm and jumps in with all his clothes on.  I started yelling at him things like "Can't you see we're skinny dipping, you idiot?" and such and he got scared and ran away with his clothes all dripping wet.  It was a good swim.

11/9/95

The other night I dreamt that I had to go back to high school to take history over again and I was sitting there in the classroom where I had psychology (that says something for dream interpretation right there) and [my American History teacher] from my Junior year walks in and is talking to some of the kids.  I kept trying to hide because I was so embarrassed about being back in high school that I just about died.

Last night I dreamt that they rearranged the dorm and it was totally different.  They moved the whole thing into a subdivision somewhere and the 1st floor was huge.  The lobby went on and on forever and there was some lady who lived in the big suite on the 1st floor who was the "dorm mother."  It was nuts.

11/17/95

Last night while I was studying physics I kept dozing off so I finally decided to take a 15 minute nap to keep from passing out.  I set my alarm and in 15 minutes I managed to dream that I was this barbarian guy on some deserted island and [my ex] and I were on the beach talking when this gigantic black dude came out of the trees with a double-barrel shotgun you could stick a baseball down the barrels of.  I told [my ex] to run and I was going to try and attack the guy, but he shot me in the chest and blood and pieces of bone flew everywhere. I thought I was dead, but I woke up and I was in this post-apocalyptic city and they held me captive there.  God only knows where this dream was going, but my alarm went off at that point and I continued studying.

11/26/95

I dreamt the last night that I ran into Frank Herbert [author of Dune and other sci-fi novels] in the middle of some old, run-down part of N.O. (possibly Algiers) and I got really nervous when I saw him, but decided to try to talk to him anyway.  He was really nice and talked to me a good deal, but I was so nervous I couldn't participate in a real conversation and kept mumbling and not getting out what I wanted to, though I remember asking him what it was like to work with David Lynch when they were doing the movie Dune.  He didn't have a beard strangely enough, yet when I think about him I usually picture him with the beard.

12/1/95

I dreamt that I was on vacation with [my ex]'s aunt and [her older daughter] and her triplet sisters [her younger daughter].  In the dream [the younger daughter] was actually triplet sisters.  In one part of the dream 2 of them were sitting next to each other in the stroller and their heads started to fuse together at the skin and I hurriedly grabbed them and pulled their heads apart.  It probably hurt them because they started crying, but [their mom] was grateful that I did it because I saved her kids.  Haven't the foggiest what that was all about.

12/5/95

Apparently since my physics lab final is coming up I dreamt last night that my TA told me that I would flunk the class no matter what I got in it.  Also I dreamt that I was on vacation at Disney World with [my ex]'s folks and grandmother and they were all black (except for [my ex]).  We ran into Blues Traveler while we were there (only they looked a lot older, taller and thinner) and they would let me take a picture of them.  My roommate spoke in Vietnamese in his sleep last night [Note: He actually was Vietnamese, so this wasn't surprising].  It would have been funny had I not been trying to sleep at the time.

12/6/95

I had some pretty wild dreams last night too.  I dreamt [my ex] and I were on a train traveling through Germany and we were going to visit her folks.  I had dyed some of my hair a bright pink color (a bunch of people I know decided to put highlights in all together, so that's probably where that came from) and it was supposed to wash out the next day, only it took out my hair across the part I had put it (right across the front of the top of my head going toward the back).  I wasn't too concerned so I told myself that I would just shave the rest off before we got off the train.  However, while I was looking in the mirror at my hair I noticed that there were little, wire-like hairs growing out of my face.  They didn't look very much like hair and they all pointed exactly in the direction I was looking: the mirror.  What was even weirder was they all had little rubber animal faces on them about the size of pencil erasers.  I also noticed that I had a great big mushroom growing out of my face.  It was like the kind that grows out of the side of a tree, only it was sideways.  I thought to myself that I should go to a doctor, but I was scared to because I knew it would have to hurt to have all that removed.  It scared me.



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