Howdy, partner!



It's funny to me when people in long-term relationships still refer to their significant other as their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."  There's so much baggage associated with those terms.  It sounds like high school.  Besides, at this stage of life, do you still describe yourself and your significant other as a "boy" or a "girl"?  I hated the term even years ago when I was dating my ex.  I used to refer to her as my "future fiance."  Sure, it was presumptuous, but I never called her my "girlfriend."  Then again, Spalding Gray liked calling his partner of many years his "girlfriend."  When they got engaged, he felt old calling her his "fiance."  So he called her his "ex-girlfriend."

Some time ago Dani stopped being my girlfriend or any other term, and she simply became my partner.  I like this term a lot better.

Why?  Well, I like the fact that gay couples get to refer to one another as partners.  After you get past the immediate assumption they're lawyers, then you realize they're talking about a romantic relationship... but on equal terms.  Maybe it's even more equal than with hetero couples since they already got it right by levelling the playing field and taking gender out of the equation.

Every once in a while I get to use this idea of calling Dani my partner to play a little game with people who I suspect might be homophobes.  I'll talk about how I did something with my partner or "my partner said," and so on.  I'll avoid pronouns.  If they get curious, they'll say something like, "Does your partner have a name?"  To which I'll say it's Dani (which of course sounds like Danny) and leave them even more confused.  Or maybe it satisfies them because they've just written their own story about me that may or may not be correct.  Whatever.  I let them run with it.

Even though the two of us are engaged now, I still call her my partner.  It's too hard to type "fiance" since it's too time-consuming to track down a character map just to put a hat on the letter "e."

Besides, if I call her my partner, that means we get to ride off into the sunset together.


Update:  Dani and I are married now, but I never call her my wife.  She is still very much my partner, and I'm sticking with that.

Why?  Because the sanctity of marriage has been ruined by the Republican party.  Yes, I know they claim gay people are ruining the sanctity of marriage, but come on!  Who's saying that people in love with one another and want to make a long-term commitment shouldn't get married?  That's right.  It's not the gay crowd.  I think psychologists call this projecting.


Copyright 2007, 2008 Alexplorer.
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