Chemicals I Love


No, this is for real.  I know it reads like a commercial, but this is real shit I recommend.
Oxy clean.  Because I'm cheap and/or an environmentalist, I started using the clothes line this summer after the rains were finished.  Only it turned out they weren't finished.  Just as soon as the jeans were dry, it stormed.  So I left them out the next day to dry.  And just about the time they were, it stormed.  Repeatedly wet jeans left in humid heat end up smelling like sour milk.  They were filled with mold, and the stench was powerful enough that you could smell them from several feet away.  I figured they were ruined, but Dani put them in a bucket with Oxy clean, and they came out fine.  The water they were in, however, was black.  That shit's awesome.

Seafoam.  My lawnmower stopped working because the fuel intake was gummed up and stuck in the blocked position (which normally prevents flooding until the fuel is combusted and the next lug goes in).  I poured this stuff in, and it started working properly within five minutes.  I poured most of the rest of the can into my car.  Hey, it can't hurt.

Hydrogen peroxide.  I don't want to go into detail about my mouth, but while my teeth are in pretty good shape, my mouth is nasty.  I brush regularly, yet I get typically got plaque back on them faster than anyone and my gums used to bleed when I flossed.  I used to use several types of mouthwash, but I tried hydrogen peroxide, and it did wonders.

Fly paper.  Not a chemical, technically, but whatever.  I guess because we have dog shit in our back yard, we have flies out there.  And because we're always letting the dogs in and out, flies keep coming in.  The only thing that works (and it really, really works) is fly paper.  I would go insane without it.  And there's a lot of comic relief when the cat gets caught up in it, that stupid fuck.

Zicam.  You know why I didn't have a cold on my wedding day?  This stuff.  I didn't believe it would work, but it does.  I started to have a cold the week leading up to the wedding, but I started using this and didn't have one.  Seriously.  I never believe anything works like they say in commercials, but this actually did.  Better even.


Copyright 2007 Alexplorer.
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