Shows I Never Got Into
I could probably write a much longer list
this, but these came to mind in one sitting. Update: Additional
24 - Like most folks, I certainly
enjoyed the first season or two, but the defining moment came for me
what I guess was the fourth season. I was getting the series from
my local library, and I picked up what I thought was the next
disc. Actually, it was from the season previous. I started
watching it and honestly couldn't remember if I'd seen it before or
not. I realized the show had become the same series of
predictable deus ex machina
moments sandwiched between scenes of
running, car-jacking, and explosions.
Big Bang Theory - What an awful,
over-rated show. It gets props from nerds because they have a
relative monopoly on geek references. Take that away, and it's
another formulaic sitcom not much better than Two and a Half Men.
Big Love - Presumably this plays on
some kind of threesome (or foursome) fantasy in the viewers, but when
you make a show about religious people, and the source of their
problems is their beliefs, I'm not going to be sympathetic toward the
characters enough to sit through it.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I
have plowed through the first couple seasons hoping to since what it is
people like about this show. Sarah Michelle Gellar does nothing
for me (although I definitely have a thing for the band camp chick from
the American Pie
movies). What am I missing here exactly?
Update: I actually kept plowing through friends' dvd box sets of this
series, and I only started liking it when the show got
ridiculous. I mean, stuff like fighting cyborgs or giant army
bases full of SEALs under the college campus. That was maybe the
fourth season? It got super stupid near the end (i.e., a shitload
of Slayers), and that was awesome too. The rest of the show, all
the unrequited love BS? Meh.
The Dave Chappelle Show - I got
maybe three episodes into this series before I realized we weren't
going to have a good relationship. Dave was asking that I act as
his therapist, and he yet didn't respect my opinion because his
problems all had to do with his inflated sense of the significance of
race in America. No one gives a shit. You can do a routine
about racial differences. You could make some jokes about race
relations in a movie. A whole sketch comedy show? No thanks.
Deadwood - Again, I
watched the first episode and kept thinking that no mater how much I
fast forward, it just wasn't getting any more interesting.
Desperate Housewives - My
friends don't believe me when I say the first season was really
good. I mean, it wasn't as good as, say, Twin Peaks' first
season, but there was that whole "intrigue among neighbors" thing and
the unsolved murder mystery. But then they wrapped it all up
nicely by the season finale and had nowhere left to go. The
second season got by on its waning novelty (and pretty girls) and no
material, and while the third season was better, there just wasn't
anything compelling about it, so I just gave up.
Family Guy - I know
everyone loves this. I wish I did, but I just don't. It's
like the excitement people have when they show you pictures of their
kids. You just don't care really, do you? It's just another
kid; what's so special about this one? Same here.
Friends - As you might
guess, I liked Chander's smartass remarks, but that was completely
offset by how much I hated the rest of the characters and ridiculous
drama among people I hated.
Heroes - The first season
started slow (and insulting to comic book readers who already knew what
they were driving at and really, seriously didn't need to be brought up
to speed!) but then got going well... right up to the anti-climax that
never really explained how saving the cheerleader saved the
world. From then on, it was a whole series of convoluted plot cul
de sacs. Story arcs went nowhere. There were even
characters that were islands unto themselves. They'd just drift
around in scenes disconnected from the rest of the cast. I've
never seen anything like it, and I'm certain I don't want to
again. I'm not sure I even finished the third season. The
fourth was so bad that the network pulled the plug mid-production with
absolutely nothing resolved.
My So-Called Life - I have
NEVER hated a character in a series as much as this emotional little
twit. I was so angry at how she was paralyzed by self-absorption,
like some form of egocentric black hole. I literally turned the
show off mid-episode and put the disc back in the mail to Netflix maybe
an hour into it.
Nip/Tuck - I was actually okay
with how screwy and dysfunctional this show was. Part of its
charm was how far they were willing to go in selling the premise that
people who are ugliest on the inside work the hardest the improve their
outsides. The problem was that the love triangle at the center of
the show shattered somewhere along the way, and the characters'
respective stories went off in three different directions.
Whereas before they built the entire series around the relationships,
the last few seasons treated them as mere co-workers. For
example, the core friendship between the two doctors was reduced to
breakroom conversations over coffee between surgeries. I gave up
on it just before the network did. It lasted one more season
after I quit.
Psych - The premise sounded
like the kind of a thing where they were just going to paint themselves
into a corner. It should have been open-ended like Monk (i.e.,
he's a talented detective). But you take a character and tack on
a trait that handicaps your storylines (i.e., he's a talented detective
that has to pretend to be a psychic and for no real and sustainable
reason no one can find out that he's just a talented detective), and
you're just going to be replaying the same joke over and over and
over. I only watched the first season. I can't believe
anyone else watched it beyond that.
Queer as Folk - Dani and
I rented the first episode. About an hour into it we looked at
one another and said, "Are we supposed to care about these
characters?" Maybe it got better as it went along. I don't
know. My early exposure immunized me against any curiosity what
happened to them beyond that point. Kudos for paving the way for
The L-Word though. Thanks.
Robot Chicken - I tried, but
unless it's a Star Wars
parody, I just don't find it that funny.
See also Family Guy.
The Sarah Jane Chronicles -
What happened to the Sarah Jane from Doctor
Who? Sure she got
old, but why is she such a fucking bitch? Why does she blow off
kids with skills and interests and important information that could
literally save the world?
Conflict should be grounded in something legitimate. This was
just conflict for conflict's sake.
I only made it through the first season
before I couldn't stand any of the contrived bitchiness anymore.
Saturday Night Live - There has
never been a more on-again, off-again relationship in Hollywood as the
one I've had with SNL over
the years. I watched it starting in my
late teens (with the Carvey/Hartman/Hooks cast) and on through college
in the mid-'90s (the tail end of the era with Rock/Spade/Farley) when
they were in danger of being canceled. I've gone back and
watched older episodes and caught it occasionally in re-runs or even a
few new episodes, but I'm just not sure I want to get back together on
a regular basis. And thanks to their near-totalitarian control
over the footage, I have seen next to nothing of the series on YouTube,
so I have absolutely nothing to stimulate my interest the way exes
stalk Facebook profiles and fantasize about re-connecting.
South Park - I like it when I
watch it, but then I don't care whether I see another episode or
not. No, I can't explain it.
UFO (1970) - Good looking
women. Good looking show (for the time and for the money).
But absolutely no story development after the three or four episodes I
watched. I took it out of my Netflix queue before the second disc
Will & Grace - I think I
came to this too late. I was aware of it when it originally
aired, sure, but I never got around to watching it. By the time
the dvds turned up at my library, the show was in its last season or
maybe even off the air. Great cast and writing (if you can handle
the forced rhythm of sitcoms taped in front of an easily-amused live
audience), but the gay element wasn't exactly ground-breaking by the
time I tuned it. I gave up a few discs in.
X-Files - Here again people
seemed to be way more into this than I could fathom. I saw the
movie and I watched at least a season's worth of this when my cousin
and I were roommates, but I just couldn't bring myself to care, even
with him supplying the footnotes. I'd suggest there was a
conspiracy putting secret messages into the broadcast to like it, but
I'd sound like an X-Files
fan. I don't want to give you that
True story: The first episode had me shocked that anyone could
seriously watch this. It was the one where Mulder and Scully find
some guy who hides for 75 years at a stretch, then comes out and eats
someone's liver before going back into his decades-long
hibernation. Mulder is arguing this case in front of a parole
board (or equivalent) at a mental institution as a reason why the guy
should remain locked up. The whole time I'm thinking to myself,
"Why aren't they locking up the guy spouting this crazy shit?!"