Sci-Fi
Movie Cop-outs
Science
fiction is easily the most expensive film genre to produce. Sci-fi
stories come with all the expenses of any other genre plus all the
costs associated with special effects, otherworldly sets, time-consuming
make-up applications, and an entirely new set of costumes and props.
Quality movies in
any genre cost money, and making a good sci-fi film costs that much more.
The best way to get a movie made in this genre is to cut your costs at
the outset. This makes for bad movies and are backdoors to plain
old intellectual apathy (i.e., you don't have to think something up if
you're not going to show it on screen), but you got your movie made, did
you?
Cop-out
#1: Time Travel... back to the present
If you want to have
a story about the future but don't want all the expensive trappings of
having to build futuristic locales and costumes, then just have your characters
travel back in time... to the present day. That way you can just
film on location anywhere in Southern California... and it's still a sci-fi
movie!
| Worst offenders |
-
Terminator
series... - Each film takes place in the year it
was made. You know what would make a better movie? The one
based in the future that the Terminator always travels back in time from
to star in the lame shoot-em-up films in this series.
-
The
Matrix - It's the post-apocalyptic future, there
is a giant city beneath the earth with magnetically power hovercraft.
Humanity is waging war against swarms of flying robots. So where
does this movie take place? In a virtual reality "simulating" LA.
Huh? Not time travel per se, but still a cop-out. (Thankfully,
the sequels had the budget to rectify this cop-out.)
-
He-Man
- Remember the cartoon? All the monsters and castles and the whole
other world? Then they made a live action movie where a mere handful
of characters travel back to (where else?) Hollywood, California.
-
Beastmaster
II -
The original took us across a land of magic and myth right out of a Robert
E. Howard novel. The sequel takes our aging protagonist across Los
Angeles.
-
12
Monkeys - Terry Gilliam has a genius for putting
pure insanity on film. The worlds depicted in Brazil, Time
Bandits, and the Adventures of Baron Munchausen are breath-taking.
So why did he spend all the set design budget on Bruce Willis' salary and
so much screen time in a modern-day insane asylum?
-
Millennium
- A forgettable sci-fi film in which people from the year 3000 AD travel
back to our present to steal people who are destined to die in plane crashes
in order to repopulate the future. The whole movie takes place in
the the 1980s,so if you rent it today, you will be traveling through
time.
-
Just
Visiting -
You probably never even heard of this one, but Jean Reno travels
forward
from the 13th century to present day, where the producers don't have to
spring for period costumes.
-
Kate
and Leopold -
Same as the above only with Meg Ryan, who the tabloids have reported has
done some time traveling herself (of a sort)... with a plastic surgeon.
-
Happy
Accidents -
Vincent D'Onofrio travels back to the present day to woo Marisa Tomei.
Admittedly, I like this one in spite of the cop-out.
-
Trancers
- Cult sci-fi cop flick (or series thereof) in which Jack
Deth travels back to 20th century LA to chase a killer.
-
Star
Trek: First Contact - After the success of Star
Trek IV, the producers obviously hoped to replicate the magic with
another trip back in time to our near-future. Why? Who knows!
This doesn't do anything for the story which works just as fine without
this device. All anyone remembers are the Borg and all the plot inconsistencies.
|
| Variations on
this theme: Travel to an alternate universe that is merely based on
something else already familiar (i.e., the props already on hand at the
studio): |
-
The original
Star
Trek television series in the Nazi universe and
the planet that looks exactly like ancient Rome and so on... Basically,
they visited every period in history that yielded the artifacts and icons
that fill prop departments of television studios.
|
| Movies that get
it right |
-
The
Time Machine -
As flawed as they may be in other respects, both the 1960
and 2002
versions delivered the goods when it came to seeing the far future.
-
Back
to the Future II - Flying cars, flying cars.
It wasn't Blade Runner, but I can't complain. Even alternate
versions of both the present and future are explored.
-
Matrix
Reloaded & Revolutions
- Sure, we spent a little time in the virtual world, but this time around
the audience got to see the "real" world. Revolutions still
sucked though.
-
Freejack
- Emilio Estevez is pulled forward 20 years into the future so aging Anthony
Hopkins can steal his body. If anything, the movie could be criticized
for exaggerating the vision of the future beyond the stated 20 span.
-
Star
Trek IV -
Here's a great series set a couple centuries in the future. There's
tons of space battles, phasers, and transporters. Then we make the
movie on a shoestring budget by filming about 90% of the picture on location
in San Francisco. However, they do bookend the film with grand sets
in the 23rd century, and the humor is all there, so I can forgive them
this time around.
|
Cop-out
#2: The Human Condition ...or just as human as human
Once again the aliens
and robots the audience came to see are disguised as humans. Not
much work for the make-up department when you do it like that, is there?
Typically there is a scene in which some aspect of the true nature of the
character is revealed (e.g., a patch of skin is cut off, etc.), but this
is a mere hint.
| Worst offenders |
-
Terminator
- In this semi-autobiographical series, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a robot
covered with a fleshy facade. Aside from the premise established
in dialogue and the judicial use of a few effects shots, the first film
in this series as much science fiction as Kindergarten Cop.
Which is to say, this is the Citizen Kane of this genre.
-
The
Arrival - While we do occasionally get to see some
aliens, as usual they're disguised as bad actors for most of the film.
And to make things even worse, Charlie Sheen plays against type as the
human
protagonist!
-
"V"
-
Lizards invade the Earth disguised as humans. Early on, they're revealed
as reptiles, but they still feel compelled to don latex to appear human
for the rest of the series, even when it's just aliens meeting with aliens
in the privacy of the own, um, giant flying saucer. Paradoxically,
this is so the humans who play them don't have to wear prosthetics themselves.
(If you're dyslexic, please have someone explain this with a diagram.)
-
Contact
- I hate to admit that one of my all-time favorite movies falls into this
category, but it does. Granted, the story justifies this point of
the plot (and it was written this way in the novel long before it was under
consideration as a film), but in the end it has the same effect.
Or as South Park's Mr. Garrison put it, "Waited through that entire
movie to see the alien, and it was her god damned father!"
-
Starman
- There is some blue light that supposedly qualifies this film as science
fiction, but I honestly don't see much difference between this movie and
Rainman.
-
Cocoon-
There is so little sci-fi in this movie that I have to remind myself that
aliens were in it. Admittedly, I liked it best when Tahnee Welch
kept her skin (and nothing else) on.
-
Villiage
of the Damned -
Interesting premise, but these kids are supposed to be part alien.
Sure, they're creepy, but no more alien than Christina Ricci. Okay,
bad example.
|
| Movies that get
it right: |
-
Star
Wars - Just hum the theme from the cantina and let
the music take you back.
-
Aliens
- Well, the first flick played it a bit coy, but that was part of the suspense.
Generally, this series put H.R. Giger's creations prominently on the screen.
-
They
Live - An interesting John Carpenter film about a
global conspiracy.
-
Independence
Day -
Man, these things were weird! It's like the Joan Rivers' version
of The Picture of Dorian Gray!
-
The
Blob - Hardly the most imaginative movie monster,
but effective on screen.
|
| Turning a cop-out
into a plot device |
-
The
Thing (From Another World) - Having the monster take
human form works here. The film actually does show some freaky stuff
besides, but it mostly relies on the premise of mimicry. The John
Carpenter remake
is pretty good as well.
|
Cop-out
#3: Invisible Monsters ...or show me the mummy
While it is a good
plot device to keep your ace in the hole and build dramatic tension, keeping
your star attraction off the screen is also a good cop-out when you want
to cut costs or otherwise allocate resources.
| Worst offenders: |
-
Forbidden
Planet -
The fantastic sets more than compensate in this case, but a truly invisible
monster is fairly insulting to the audience's intelligence.
-
Children
of the Corn -
Not a sci-fi film per se, but didn't you think of Bugs Bunny when those
things were burrowing beneath the ground?
-
Signs
- This movie is unspeakably awful in too many ways to catalog.
-
Relic
- Oh, just skip this one.
|
| Movies that get
it right: |
-
Predator
- Rather than being employed as a cop-out, the literal invisibility is
actually the stand-out plot device of the film. In fact, production-wise,
it was more expensive to make the title character invisible. That,
my friends, means this is the opposite of a cop-out. Whatever that's
called.
-
Mimic
- The concept of "hidden in plain sight" really works here. The film
is very atmospheric besides, if a bit short in other areas.
-
Tremors
- The creatures are shown in due course, but the suspense is built by initially
keeping them underground. I mean, they could be anywhere...
|
| Variations on
this theme: Aliens that look like us |
-
Star
Trek - The only requirement to be an alien is to
have a single distinguishing characteristic. Pointy ears or a bad
haircut typically satisfy this prerequisite.
|
Cop-out
#4: Aliens visit present-day Earth
Yet another cop-out
has aliens visitng present-day Earth. And while there are certainly
themes to be examined here, it is absolutely a cop-out for the reasons
cited above: budget, budget, budget. In most cases, the story would
be more challenging, humorous, and/or ortherwise interesting if the setting
were moved into the past (e.g., aliens last in the Wild West) or in the
distant future where they could take a story to a higher level. It
all depends on what the film attempts to achieve... but, no, they're going
to land in Hollywood, just down the block from the studio financing things...
| Worst offenders: |
-
Close
Encounters of the Third Kind -
Given the fashions of the 1970s and the flashbacks from the rampant recreational
drug use from a decade earlier, it's no wonder aliens could visit Earth
virtually unnoticed by anyone but the government and a few kooks like Richard
Dreyfuss.
-
E.T.
- The funniest bit was when E.T. hides in the closet and blends in with
all the toys. Within six months, the mechandising geniuses ensured
that everyone under 12 had the same scene in their closet.
-
*batteries
not included -
By visiting present-day Earth, the producers ensured that I would remember
absolutely nothing about this film.
-
Cocoon
- Sure, it's a cute movie, but the only thing futuristic about this is
the fact that its cast are practically from another century.
-
Signs
- The worst movie every made. Ever! Clearly this was released for
only one purpose: To ensure that aliens will never, ever visit this planet.
-
Mars
Attacks! -
This movie should have been set in the 1950s where every other aspect of
it originated. There's no reason why a movie this bad should have
been made in this day and age.
-
Predator
series (including AVP) -
A more interesting idea might have been that these creatures are the basis
of many of our ancient myths (e.g., Grendel), but, no. We're going
to set it in the present like every other movie not made by Woody Allen.
|
Cop-out
#5: Artificial Gravity
This technology is
so ubiquitous in the sci-fi realm that it is taken for granted. We
take it for granted because we don't typically imagine zero-G environments.
Of course, most of the universe is essentially zero-G, but so this simply
a cop-out in most movies. Why do they do it? Well, for the
time being, pretty much 100% of all sci-fi films are filmed right here
on Earth.
| Worst offenders: |
-
2001
- Sure they have artificial gravity in the middle of the ship (via centreptal
force in the rotating section), but somehow they overlook the fact that
there shouldn't be any in the hanger or elsewhere.
-
Star Trek-
Everything on the ship manages to break except the artificial gravity.
Isn't that interesting? No, wait. It's a cop-out.
|
| Movies that get
it right: |
-
2001
- Yeah, I know. Even though this is an offender, it's also the best
movie for acknowledging this pitfall (no pun intended) of space travel.
-
Apollo 13
- The crew filmed aboard the "Vomit Comet" in order to recreate zero-G
conditions, but the rest of the Hollywood is literally grounded.
|
Copyright
2004-2007 Ale[x]tra-terrestrial.