May's DVD Reviews, Part I
Quick reviews from my Netflix queue and/or the library.



Teeth, 2006
With the premise of a midwestern girl with a vagina dentata, there's so much potential to rip on the Christian right and their imposed ignorance of human sexuality and even fundamental anatomy.  But then you take a first-time director who penned the script himself and what you get is a clumsy, campy horror movie that is ineffective at playing to either camp or horror audiences.  In short: No teeth.

Battlestar Galactica: Season 3: Disc 3, 2006
Dani never gets into sci-fi, and to her this show is fucking crack.  Normally I rotate through my Netflix queue so that, once I've finished a season, I don't really come back to a show until I get through some other things I've been wanting to watch.  Not so in this case.  At the end of the first season, Dani was all like, "When does the next disc come."  I'm like, "I haven't added it to the queue.  I thought we'd watch [insert other shows I only thought she was into] first."  No, we had to add it.  You should too.

Wholly Moses, 1980
Really, really weak attempt by mostly American comedians to do to the Old Testament what the Pythons did to the New with The Life of Brian which you absolutely should see instead.

Gilmore Girls: Season 7: Disc 1, 2006
Nothing special here.  If you didn't like the first six years of the same fast dialog, hot mom, and no plot developments that have always characterized this series, then you aren't going to jump in at this point.

Where the Truth Lies, 2005
Pretty good mystery.  Lots of sex.  They made this for me, mostly, but I'll let you see it since you'll enjoy it as well, I think.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 2: Disc 1, 1997
After a really, really tired start to the series, it's finally starting to pick up some steam.  Some intrigue introduced early on in this season actually has me wanting to watch it for more than that band camp girl.

The Warriors, 1979
Somewhat updated "director's version" (but not a new cut exactly) of the cult classic.  It's definitely worth a viewing.

The Whales of August, 1987
Starring an almost-dead Lillian Gish, Betty Davis, and Vincent Price, you'll feel like this movie lasts almost as long as their respective careers summed.

Twelve Chairs, 1970
Mediocre early Mel Brooks movie.  You already know the good ones, so there's no need to track this one down unless you're a completist, but odds are you stopped trying at Life Stinks when his movies started to do the same.

The Office (the original BBC version), Season 1, Disc 1
It's been years since Dani and I watched this, so we gave it another go during a lull between Netflix discs (I own it, believe it or not).  It's still just as hilarious as it ever was, though I hesitate to recommend it to viewers who have only seen the American version that plays like slapstick (albeit a sophisticated variety thereof) by comparison.

Bug, 2006
Potentially interesting, it just becomes silly and borders on self-parody were it not for the attempts to be gross that ground it in plotless sensationalism.  Bugger off!

PICKS OF THE LITTER: Atom Egoyan's Where the Truth Lies never found its audience unless it happens to be reading this, in which case you should give it a shot.  The Warriors acknowledges its comic book influences, but while you're watching for the next Batman flick, check this out.  Oh, and did I mention The Office was great?  Yes, the BBC version.  And even if I hadn't seen Battlestar Fracking Galactica this month, I'd still recommend it.  Honestly, every time I think they're going to slip up and let a weak script slip through, they fracking surprise me (as with this disc).

May's DVD Reviews, Part II
Quick reviews from my Netflix queue and/or the library.



Last Action Hero, 1993
If you even vaguely remember it, you get the premise: Kid goes into the movie realm.  The problem is the meta-movie can't sufficiently exaggerate the "movieisms" for the audience to feel they've moved from the cartoonish version of "real life" to the supposedly unrealistic movie with the movie, much like when Arnold was elected governator.

Lost: Season 3, Discs 1&2
I'd heard bad things about this season, but there was honestly more story development in the first few episodes this time around than the entire last season in its entirety.

24: Season 6, Discs 1&2
They pretty much gloss over a lot of the lingering threads from last season, but who cares since last season sucked worse than any.  They're finally getting the show back on track.

Extras: Season 2, Discs 1&2
There really is nothing else like this series on tv anywhere, and that alone ought to be reason enough to watch, but if you need more, then two words: Ricky Gervais.

Psyche: Season 1, Disc 3
Meh.  This show isn't very good, but I don't hate it.  It painted itself in the corner with an annoying premise, but several of the cast have the potential to make it  entertaining anyway.

Planet Terror, 2007
Imagine you could melt down the Die Hard series, everything by George Romero and Tarantino and Rodriguez, then distill it into a formulation of Viagra you take with your eyes.  If you can do that, you might have about a tenth of this movie.  If you haven't seen it yet, you better show me the receipt for all the porn you've been busy watching to the exclusion of all else instead.

Battlestar Galactica: Season 3: Disc 4, 2006
Possibly the only reasonable excuse outside of porn for not watching Planet Terror.

Wild Palms: Disc 1, 1993
Good premise, lots of plot twists (though you can see many of them coming literally hours in advance), but weak acting and really, really bad direction.

Wizards, 1977
A mish-mash of almost every animation style and technique available at the time, but that's about the only reason it's worth watching other than the perpetually prominent nipples of the fairy princess throughout.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 2: Disc 2, 1997
They dole out story developments so slowly in this series that you could honestly watch a given season's episodes in any order and wouldn't have any trouble with anything but the lack of acting talent.

Gilmore Girls: Season 7: Disc 2, 2006
More of the same and I'm still not complaining.

Penn & Teller: Bullsh*t!: Season 2: Disc 3, 2004
The key distinction is magicians tell you that they're going to trick you.  Everyone who fails to do so is full of bullshit.

Wit, 2001
Cancer makes Emma Thompson look back at her life only she tells the audience about what she sees while Mike Nicols directs.  Not as profound as one would think, but intelligently and inventively staged.

Candid Camera: 5 Decades of Smiles: Disc 9, 1949
By this disc it's pretty much the end of the series, but there are still a lot of (re)inventive takes on the early pranks.  Armchair anthropologists should take notes.

PICKS OF THE LITTER: Battlestar Fracking Galactica is the best fracking show on television, and I'm not just saying that because it's what Dom spent her honeymoon night watching, but Planet Terror is every other movie on steroids only with balls that haven't atrophied due to steroids.  Also, if you loved the BBC version of The Office, you should check out Extras.  And if you haven't seen The Office, then your life is a pale, lifeless version of Dom's honeymoon night.


Copyright 2008 Ale[x]plorer.
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