The Wit and Wisdom of Tyler Durden
Some of the best lines from Fight Club.

Tyler Durden : All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

Tyler Durden : You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Tyler Durden : Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

Narrator : On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Tyler Durden : It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.

Narrator : This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

Narrator : If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

Tyler Durden : The things you own end up owning you.

Tyler Durden : We just had a near life experience.

Tyler Durden : Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch... ?

Tyler Durden : Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?

Tyler Durden : Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.

Tyler Durden : Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

Narrator : After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.

Narrator : And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

Tyler Durden : You just had a near-life experience!

Narrator : Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

Narrator : You met me at a very strange time in my life.

Tyler Durden : Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction...

Tyler Durden : Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO!

Tyler Durden : I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll thank me.

Tyler Durden : Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions.

Narrator : By the end of the first month, I didn't miss TV.

Narrator : If I didn't say anything, people always assumed the worst.

Narrator : It's just, when you buy furniture, you tell yourself, "that's it. That's the last sofa I'm gonna need. Whatever else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled."

Tyler Durden : Well you did lose a lot of versatile solutions for modern living

Tyler Durden : You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.

Tyler Durden : This... is chemical burn.

And a funny exchange:

Tyler: Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?
Narrator: No, I did not know that; is that true?

Tyler: That's right... One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items.

Narrator: Really...?

Tyler: If one were so inclined.

Narrator: Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving...

Tyler: Oh I get it.  It's very clever.

Narrator: Thank you.

Tyler: How's that working out for you?

Narrator: What?

Tyler: Being clever.

Narrator: Great.

Tyler: Keep it up then... Right up.

[Gets up from airplane seat]
Tyler: Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?

Copyright 2005 chemicAle[x] burn... except the great quotes, of course.
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