|Dani's so hot in red, she sets off sprinklers wherever she goes. Even weddings. Even outdoors.|
|Yeah, the band really knew how to pack them in, lemme tell ya!|
|E-flat minor. Now name that tune.|
|Three guesses where she kept the cell phone. (Nope. Not her purse.)|
|The only reason why I have black friends is because I thought we'd finally go to at least one wedding in Texas where they wouldn't serve Mexican food. Did they? Of course.|
|Yeah, but then they stopped to pose for pictures and then it was Aesop's "Tortoise and the Hare" all over again.|
|First of all, it is customary to cry at weddings, but not so much at the beginnings of receptions. Second, ummmm, find someone else's shoulder to cry on, dude!|
|They put the DJ in the opposite corner as the band. You would think they would have totally had a battle, but they played nice and didn't start anything.|
|What? No one brought a deck of cards?|
|You might think this is trick photography, but no. Her dad really does sit on the groom's shoulder and act as his conscience.|
|Funny, I can't even get flowers to grow in dirt.|
|CAPTAIN: I'll take command of these
CONFUSED SERVER: Yes, sir!
|I have like, I don't know, maybe a thousand pictures of Cindy, one of the photographers. If she didn't figure out I had a crush on her by the end of the day, there's no hiding it now.|
|Fame! I'm gonna live forever!|
|Hey, some more Courvoisier over here!|
|DANI: No, really, they'll be starting
the buffet soon.
TOMMIE: It's too late; I'm starving now, and I don't think lipstick has a lot of calories anyway.
|Oh, yeah? Well, I have a microphone and a drink, so good luck!|
|Continue to Part II|