The Wedding Stinger Strikes Yet Another Time Once More...
Mike and Kelly were nice enough to invite us to their wedding so I would have great material to write captions for.

The best man nods off as the groom describes to his groomsmen the exciting new ways a guy can get away with grabbing a girl's boob once he marries her.

Jessica admits she couldn't find any dogma that held up to scientific scrutiny here either, but says she's not going to give up hers.  Thus she continues to allow me copius opportunities to say hilarious things about Catholicism that she will find as offensive as I find her religion.

It only took thirtysomething years, but Mike's dad finally gave him "the talk."  Yeah, I know.  Just in time!

Mike is amazed to find that Jesus is a lot smaller in person.

The one in the middle is old enough to know better than to litter the floor of a church.  And you know she knows.  Look at her face.

Dammit, St. Joseph!  You knew we were going to wear black and white.  That's it.  You're out the band.

Here's the deal: I get to come to your wedding and make fun.  You get some kick-ass photos out of the deal.  Deal?  No?  Too bad.  Deal.

They should put a copy of this memo on the altar boys' robes.

Speaking of which...

Oh, now that's just wrong.


Some of the dirtiest thoughts ever thought in a church were thought right here.

Foreshadowing?  I hope the fuck not.  Let's use some condom sense on the honeymoon and beyond, okay, guys?

There's so much estrogen in this shot I start ovulating just looking at it.

I don't know.  Something about a fish, I'm guessing.

Ladies and gentlemen... The Osmonds!

Due to the groom's ability to hide in plain sight, he was very nearly able to elude her until the honeymoon.

Continue to Part II