Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


Tommy (actually, that's his real name) was easily the fattest kid in class, and that was true no matter what grade he was in.  We were in the same class in 1st, 3rd, and 5th grade, and he always had a bullseye painted on him when it came to fat jokes, being large and not very fast as far as moving targets go.

It's not really fair to seek justification for childhood teasing, but Tommy brought a lot of it on himself.  His weight aside, the issues he had with food were anything but a secret.  When we were really young, he would try to snatch other students' deserts in the cafeteria or would at least beg ("I'll be your best friend") for extras from whatever you hadn't yet eaten from your tray.  I hope this wasn't a typical incident, but I remember him throwing up his lunch right there at the table one day and then just laughing about it like this was a normal, everyday thing.  Maybe to him it was.

When we were in 7th grade, several students took turns swinging on a bathroom stall door.  Tommy attempted to do the same trying the way kids do to fit in.  Sadly, fitting into just about anything was a problem for more than just Catholic school uniforms, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, the door broke off when Tommy took his turn on it.  No one could keep a secret as to who did it, especially when the culprit stood out the way he did in every other way.

He's dead.  He died of a massive heart attack that everyone but him saw coming.  He rushed it there with help from drugs (coke, I'm guessing).  This was less than a year ago.  He was 33, same age as Chris Farley of Tommy Boy fame was when died by the same long-cooking recipe.

Hypothetical letter I'll never be able send to him:

It was obvious to us all, but somehow you went though life like what you were doing wasn't what was ending it.  Yes, you had issues of self-control.  Whether nature or nurture was to blame here, I don't know, but when you looked at your parents' weight, didn't that make you think, "I don't want to be 300 lbs by the time I'm 30" or "Hey, I better slow down before it's too late"?

If you ever find a way to time-travel, please help me understand so I can help those who still have some time left to travel through.


Copyright 2008 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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