Ah, here's one now...
Shane (not his real name) was notorious for being flamingly gay when we were in high school in the early '90s in rural Louisiana, but confused the fuck out of everyone by having a hot "girlfriend" who was probably just a fag hag and had no romantic connection with him. (Subsequent uncorroborated but widely-circulated rumors included her having an abortion and that she was working as a stripper.) He was a year younger than me though, so I didn't really know him other than by reputation.
Flamingly gay. Pick a stereotype; he can play any of them. Photos on his profile include a sexy open-shirt well-muscled cowboy picture as well as one of him in front of the mirror applying make-up for his turn as a geisha, presumably in a production of M. Butterfly. I swear to you this is hyperbole-free.
If I wasn't holding out for Andy Dick to take my gay virginity, I'd give you a call. Keep your fingers crossed in the meantime, and good luck at the Tonys.
-A fan who knew you when...
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