Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


Shane (not his real name) was notorious for being flamingly gay when we were in high school in the early '90s in rural Louisiana, but confused the fuck out of everyone by having a hot "girlfriend" who was probably just a fag hag and had no romantic connection with him.  (Subsequent uncorroborated but widely-circulated rumors included her having an abortion and that she was working as a stripper.)  He was a year younger than me though, so I didn't really know him other than by reputation.

Flamingly gay.  Pick a stereotype; he can play any of them.  Photos on his profile include a sexy open-shirt well-muscled cowboy picture as well as one of him in front of the mirror applying make-up for his turn as a geisha, presumably in a production of M. Butterfly.  I swear to you this is hyperbole-free.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to him:

If I wasn't holding out for Andy Dick to take my gay virginity, I'd give you a call.  Keep your fingers crossed in the meantime, and good luck at the Tonys.

Much love,

-A fan who knew you when...

Copyright 2006-2007 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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