Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


I knew Roger (not his real name) in high school and later ran into him again in college.  He kind of had a lisp, but he never really seemed to have any sex life, so it was hard to get a reading from him.  History has proven that my gaydar is about as sharp as a cue ball, so I left that question blank.

I didn't really hang around with him all that much until the summer of '93 when he and I ended up living in the same dorm.  That's his mom helping him move.  Yeah, I thought she was pretty hot, myself.

Anyway, everyone in the dorm had private rooms that summer, so (paradoxically perhaps?) a lot of the residents always seemed to be hanging out in one another's rooms.  It was a crazy little semester during which I was fooling around with one of our friends named Lori (not her real name either).  While not especially attractive (to some people; I liked her), Lori was smokin' hot in that she was very sexual and was really skinny, something I've always liked (so sue me).

One day Roger was in my room with Lori.  She and I hadn't so much as even kissed yet by that point, but I got her talking about her favorite subject: sex.  I was asking her really intimate questions about her fantasies and preferences, and that started getting her worked up.  I had her over my lap on her stomach, and I was stroking the backs of her legs, running my fingers up her shorts over her ass, but not doing anything more than that.  I just continued asking her questions the whole time, most of which she had trouble answering on account of being too aroused to think straight.  I love this about women.

Roger was watching the whole scene intently from the opposite side of the room, almost completely silent the entire time.  He seemed really into things as well, so I figured he was probably straight.  No, this story doesn't end up with a threesome or anything like that.  In fact, I honestly don't remember what happened that night, but it wasn't anything to write to Penthouse Forum about.  I think eventually we all left and went to dinner in the cafeteria.

Okay, so fast-forward to few months later.  It was the Fall semester, and I was living with Jack.  I really hadn't kept in touch with the crowd from the summer.  Lori and I split up before the end of the semester even, and Roger never came back in the fall.

So one night Jack and I ended up in the French Quarter.  We were wandering around Bourbon Street, and we found our way to the end of the block by the Pub and all the other gay bars.  Guess who's there?  Roger.  He's standing on the sidewalk right in front of the Pub.  Roger has in mind this image of me totally seducing Lori that time with him in the room.  He also has a pretty good idea about things I did with her on other occasions.  He also has a pretty good idea what I probably did with her friend Dina later that semester as well.  Now I show up with Jack who, well, come on.  We're talking about Jack.  I'm on what by almost any objective measure is the gayest street corner in the Quarter (which is easily several orders of magnitude gayer than anywhere in the Midwest you can bet) and I'm with the guy who Jack from Will & Grace was patterned after.  At this point Roger is really, Really, REALLY confused.

Roger says, "So, um, what are you doing here?"

Me: (Grinning) "Just hanging out.  What are you doing here?"

Roger: "Uh, same thing."

Me: (Still grinning) "Cool.  Have fun!"

Then Jack and I left Roger and went on to see more sights around the Quarter.  I have no idea what happened to him after that, but I hope he used a condom.

He's an airline steward (I swear I'm not making this up!!!) and lives with his partner up north.  I know this not from MySpace but because, believe it or not, a couple months or so after I began time-traveling, Roger actually called me on the phone out of the blue.

He had tracked me down, and we probably spoke for about two or three hours catching up on what the other had been doing, filling in gaps in the histories of people we knew in high school and college, and sharing stories about them from the times when we knew them.  I guess I shattered his illusions when I told him I was getting married later this year, but those are the hazards of time traveling.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to him:

While I use MySpace and high school yearbooks, other time-travelers use other, more or less exotic methods.  What are some of your favorite time machines?  What first got you interested in time-travel?  Have you ever brought back anything from your time-travels that could alter your future or the future of others?  If you could alter your past, in what ways do you predict your time-travels would be altered?

Your fellow time-traveler,


Copyright 2007 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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