Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...



Regina

Then:
Regina (not her real name) was a total Jesus freak who I was in grad school with.  In philosophy classes, she would go off on how she believed in the literal interpretation of the bible.  Even the most conservative people thought she was pretty extreme and wouldn't have anything to do with her.  And we're talking about pray-before-meals homophobes.  She creeped the fuck out of everyone.

Now:
Her profile creeps the fuck out of me.  It's all Jesusy.  She has a kid and gave up teaching to go back to school to get an engineering degree, probably to prove the literal truth of the bible including how many Joules of energy are required to part the Red Sea as opposed to walking on water (which wasn't invented until Jesus came along).  That kid is going to be sooooo fucked up.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to her:
Regina,

Don't take everything I say so literally.  Especially that whole "Be fruitful and multiply" thing.

(Eternal) Love,

-God.


Copyright 2006-2007 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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