Ah, here's one now...
Melanie (not her real name) was another snot I had honors classes with in high school and was someone thoroughly in need of a good backhanding. Years later I was in college working as a lab tech and test proctor, and I gave the exam for one of her classes. I had a couple grad students proctoring with me, but it was their first time, so I was telling them what to do, and it looked like I was in charge. I was still an undergrad, but Melanie was like, "Whoa." I don't know what she thought, but I didn't dissuade her.
She's a lawyer. She doesn't seem as snotty in the pictures, ironically enough, but I would probably still backhand her if I knew I could skirt any and all liabilities.
Unfortunately, she set her profile to private not long after I found it. Unlike her, I'm not in the practice of pretending to be friends, so I didn't bother to write her and try to get added long enough to snatch a current photo of her.
To Whom It May Concern,
Your ego has been deemed by everyone you've ever met to be in violation of zoning laws for encroaching on common decency. If it is not moved immediately, it will be impounded by the city. Further, for not keeping your obscenely inflated ego properly tethered and on a leash, you are subject to additional fines.
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