Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


The summer semester after my freshman year of college, I ended up in a dorm where we all had private rooms.  Lori (not her real name) lived there as well, and within a few weeks of our meeting, I was very happy we had no roommates to walk in on us.  I guess this ends the mystery as to where my fixation with skinny women with long noses came from, so if that was the last thing you still needed to know about me in order to die a whole person, you can stop reading now.

As if she wasn't already my dream girl, Lori was extremely sexual.  I already mentioned a relatively tame encounter with her in Roger's time-traveling episode, but she was a handful.  I never had to initiate anything.  Unfortunately, she was a bit nuts, which makes me wonder why it's impossible to find that right combination of having the cake and getting your candle blown too.

Lori's folks were a bit nuts as well.  Whether nature or nurture was to blame here, I don't know, but I'm sure they could give you an expert opinion given that the pair of them were trained, practicing clinical psychologists.  Because of or in spite of this, they had a completely dysfunctional relationship with their daughter.  Lori padlocked her room when she wasn't at home, and I heard at least one account of a major (but typical) altercation between her and her mother after the latter picked said lock while Lori was away.

I was never on hand for any of these episodes, so I don't know where the blame lies.  However, Lori was somewhat volatile, and it didn't take very long for the bad to start outweighing the good where she was concerned.  There was core group of us in the dorm that semester that also included Roger, another girl, and another guy, but Lori started fragmenting us with her antics.  We tried to be friends with her even after paranoid and nonsensical accusations were directed at me and the others, but after a while it seemed easier to just avoid her.  By the end of what was a Melrose Place of a summer (in more ways than I'm going into here), I wasn't talking to her.  No one was.  We went our separate ways at the end of the semester without saying a word.

I didn't see very much of Lori when we returned in the fall.  Pretty much the entire group of us who were inseparable a couple months earlier had gone our separate ways.  Roger dropped out, and the rest of us ended up back in our regular dorms, picking up our social lives where we left off in the spring.  I was hanging with my new roommate Jack and a lot of my friends from the previous year, and the other two in the aforementioned group did much the same with their own circle of friends.  Lori's attitude (uncalled for as it was) made her unapproachable, thus ending any contact between her and anyone else I knew, so I lost touch with her over the next year and transferred to a different university the following one.

I'm still not sure really.  She slipped below the radar around 2001 when she got married to a computer programmer in California.  I'm guessing they're still together since I stole this picture off his website a few weeks ago, and I would imagine he'd have taken it down by now if they had split up.  Then again, maybe he works for Microsoft, in which case, he might just be the type to leave redundant, out-dated pieces of code lying around to confuse everyone.

A few other scant traces around the web indicate Lori followed in her parents' footsteps and pursued a career in psychology.  She finished up her master's in some sort of art therapy, though my recollection of her was that she was neither artistic nor particularly inclined toward helping anyone.  However, if I've learned anything after all these episodes, it's that time-travel changes folks, sometimes for the better even.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to her:

Please send pictures.  Unless you got a nose job, then just send pictures from the neck down.


Copyright 2008 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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