Ah, here's one now...
I was never exactly friends with Evan (not his real name) in high school. I don't think he ever noticed me even, though I remember us having class together. Specifically, I remember him hauling off in Biology and beating the crap out of an obnoxious guy named Jory (picture an equally unfunny Bill Maher). Jory was laying on the floor in front of my desk screaming, "Chill out, man!" with Evan on top of him until he was hauled off to the principal's office.
Despite appearances (which he attributes to a mid-life crisis), he actually cleaned up and eventually got a degree in physics. He now works as a sys admin, although ironically he's gullible enough that he'll let me past his privacy settings and add me as a friend if I pose as a cute girl from a fake profile.
Fuck you, asshole! Newstead was better bassist than Burton, and if you think he's the shit, then why don't you fucking come over here and do something about it? Asshole!
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