Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


I was never exactly friends with Evan (not his real name) in high school.  I don't think he ever noticed me even, though I remember us having class together.  Specifically, I remember him hauling off in Biology and beating the crap out of an obnoxious guy named Jory (picture an equally unfunny Bill Maher).  Jory was laying on the floor in front of my desk screaming, "Chill out, man!" with Evan on top of him until he was hauled off to the principal's office.

Evan fucking loved Metallica and pretty much any and every metal band.  It's a good thing he didn't have dandruff because I swear I don't think I saw him in anything other than black concert t-shirts.  He probably owned enough of them to put most bands in gas money to carry them through any tour.

I don't even remember noticing at the time, but Evan disappeared somewhere in or after our junior year.  I'm sure Jory could tell you exactly when.

Despite appearances (which he attributes to a mid-life crisis), he actually cleaned up and eventually got a degree in physics.  He now works as a sys admin, although ironically he's gullible enough that he'll let me past his privacy settings and add me as a friend if I pose as a cute girl from a fake profile.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to him:

Fuck you, asshole!  Newstead was better bassist than Burton, and if you think he's the shit, then why don't you fucking come over here and do something about it?  Asshole!


Copyright 2007 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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