Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


Dan(not his real name)'s sister was in my class in 8th grade, and she found out I liked comic books.  "My brother collects those," she said, and gave him my number.  Dan had been a regular reader for several years before I ever discovered comics, and he was a couple years older than I was, so he had a head start and I regarded him as a wise sage.  This was back in the days when continuity mattered in the Marvel Universe.  That made things trying for new readers who weren't up on all the history, but the experience was that much more interesting for it.

Dan filled me in on a lot of the back story of events I had missed out on so that, for example, I could understand just why Ms. Marvel hated Rogue even though they were both supposed to be the good guys.  (Correct answer: Back when Mystique had Rogue working with the new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, Rogue permanently stole Ms. Marvel's super strength and ability to fly thereby leaving Ms. Marvel without powers until she was kidnapped by the Brood who performed medical experiments on her until she gained a new set of superpowers through a connection to a white hole after which she teamed up with the Star Jammers and traveled the galaxy.)

Dan and I were only in high school together for a year before he graduated, and while we never hung around together much while he was there, we talked on the phone off and on for several years until I got away from comic books.  I also used to see him at church since both our families went to the same (read: only) Catholic one in our redneck (read: Baptist) part of the world.

He ended up going to the same college as I started off at, and he stopped by my dorm one day to say hi and welcome me on my first semester there.  I don't remember running into him again after that, though I knew he was working on a degree in education.

Whereas I happily lapsed in my church-going, poor Dan totally slipped in the other direction right over the event horizon.  His headline reads: "Jesus- the Way, the Truth, and the Life," so you know you're in for a wild ride on the Holy Roller Coaster before you even click.  

I don't know whether comic books are to blame for his inability to distinguish reality from myths of heroes with death-defying super powers, but I think the Jesus-freakification was largely due to his wife who graduated from a Christian school/dogma machine near our high school.  The two of them have three young boys who will probably be by your door in about a decade or so to tell you how you, too, can be saved.

Currently Dan owns and operates a comic book store, but in order to out-do even Kevin Smith, he has full-figure Green Lantern and Thor tattoos, one on each bicep.  He also substitute teaches where I'm sure these are a big hit with the kids.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to him:

I know you're a True Believer, a real fanboy of Jesus, but did it ever occur to you that my origin of Spiderman story in issue #14 of Amazing Fantasy was better written than, well, any chapter and verse of the bible?  Don't you think it's odd that He made me, a Jewish kid from New York a better writer than He is?  Think about it.


-Stan "The Man" Lee.

Copyright 2007 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
Back to the index