Alexplorer Goes Time
If you're just joining
this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine,
so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back
from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what
happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin'
into the future.
Ah, here's one now...
She was really, really short
in high school. I'm talking like four feet tall or some shit.
She read a lot (mostly fantasy books) and seemed to live in a separate
world in which she was smarter than everyone else. People tended
to avoid her, so she didn't have reality check against this delusion, and
it just snowballed.
I didn't see her for a few years, then
she coincidentally ended up living a few doors down from me in my dorm
when I first started college. She was living with Janice
who would come to be my best friend that year (and later stalked me for
five years after the last time I spoke to her... but that's a story for
another time). Janice tended to avoid Cindy other than to collect
anecdotes to share in the campus cafeteria supper such as how Cindy claimed
she was going to write a novel so great that people would try to kill her
because what she had to say would be too profound. Yeah. Uh,
At a party I went to at some point,
someone else who knew her commented that they saw her volunteering as a
library helper in her home town over the summer, which is probably about
as low as you can go on any objective measure of coolness.
Working as a librarian.
Well, not at the moment. She's doing some sort of office work since
Hurricane Katrina turned her library into soup. Her profile states,
"I have two cats and a townhouse." Why, yes, she is still
single. Any takers?
letter I'll probably never send to her:
We know what you've been working on,
even though you have never committed your manifesto to paper or disc.
Too bad. We have eyes and ears everywhere. If you continue
along these lines, we will have to send another hurricane to complete the
job as you apparently didn't understand that Katrina was intended merely
as a warning. If you do not want further harm to befall your city
and its few remaining libraries, then you had best comply. You can
signal your acquiescence to our desires by wearing the enclosed pink boa
to work for the next 17 business days.
-The anonymous men in suits from the
agency so secret it has no name.
p.s. Look outside your window.
Do you see us? Of course you can't. That doesn't mean we aren't
2006-2007 Ale[x]plorer. All photos are of the actual individuals
described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.