Alexplorer Goes Time
If you're just joining
this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine,
so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back
from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what
happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin'
into the future.
Ah, here's one now...
I met Blake (yes, his real
name) in junior high and continued through high school with him.
He was a nice enough guy and was smarter than most of the rednecks we were
in school with, but I would be hard-pressed to tell you anything interesting
about him. I realize most people don't really do anything to distinguish
themselves in high school outside of experiments with hairstyles they'd
be embarrassed to be seen in today, but Blake only stood out back then
because he was tall.
Actually, he was really tall.
I think he had about six inches on most of his peers in any given year
for a while, finally topping out at six foot seven. Since his last
name was Stein (yes, really, else this joke wouldn't work), he said he
planned to name his first son Frank Norris Stein so that the kid's name
would be Frank N. Stein to go with the height he seemed destined to inherit.
After working his way up through
the minors while I was in college (which was the last I had heard of him
thanks to a chance encounter sometime in my junior year with former classmates
who had been close to him), he apparently had a good run as a pitcher for
several teams in the majors, although one sports writer described him as
a "mediocre right-hander" and his career ERA is 5.41, if you have any idea
what that means.
He recently finished college after retiring
from baseball, but he's been married for years and had his first child
literally between games while he was in the majors. Fortunately,
it was a daughter. I don't know if he ever had a son on which to
play his life-long prank.
letter I'll probably never send to him:
I've never understood that "Who's on
first?" routine. If you could diagram that for me, I'd really appreciate
2007 Ale[x]plorer. All photos are of the actual individuals described
above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.