Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


The thing about Catholic school girls is that they're headed off the deep end in one direction or the other.  Something about the combination of human nature and the indoctrination they put these girls through tends to bifurcate an ostensibly homogeneous population into opposing extremes.  Before they've even come out the other site, half go around thinking sex is a dirty, dirty thing that is for reproductive purposes only.  The other half think, "Well, if the teachers I hate so much hate it so much, I need to get as much of this 'sex' thing as I can before I spend the eternity I'm already consigned to in Hell."  The rigidly dogmatic Angela went the former route and binge-drinking party girl-at-large that Betty went the former.

Betty (not her real name) was one of those stereotypical Catholic school girls who goes bad.  I'm not even drawing an analogy here.  Her classmates included the ultimate goodie-goodie from the opposite end of the spectrum Angela, but Betty was a total rebel, one of the ones who would always wear her uniform just at the edge of acceptable dress code, then would party hard all weekend.  She wasn't driving yet, so I used to take her out to the river a few miles from her house and oppressive father so she could get stoned.  Actually, it was just a couple joints usually.  If you picture Darlene from Roseanne, you've got Betty.  No, not her sister Becky, the other one.  Don't confuse me.

Somewhere along the way we stopped hanging together because my then-girlfriend Tracey got jealous of my spending a lot of time with her.  I didn't hear from her for more than a year until I was in the summer semester after my freshman year of college and she had started school there as well.  I didn't talk to her again for a while, but over the xmas break I called her up while I was at home to see if she wanted to go see a band some of my friends played in.  She seemed sort of reluctant and said something to the effect that she didn't like going out because of the way everyone looked at her.  Jokingly, I asked her, "Why?  Are you pregnant or something?"  There was a long pause.  Finally she said, "You honestly didn't know, did you?"  Well, I didn't.  She went out with me anyway.

Apparently she partied a bit too much and flunked out of school even though she was plenty smart enough to do well... minus the obvious lapse in condom sense with her fuck-buddy at the time.  She was staying with her mom until she had the baby who she had arranged to put up for adoption.  I don't think I talked to her more than once or twice after that, and then I transferred to a different school and lost touch.

She just finished up her bachelor's last year and is in a master's program at the moment.  She admits she still drinks way too much, but she's trying to quit smoking, and apparently hasn't had any more children.  Unlike so many stupid girls who make the second (and more damning mistake), Betty did in fact give up the first one for adoption, thankfully.  She's still single.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to her:

You had me worried there for about a decade or so.  Good job.


Copyright 2007 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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