Alexplorer Goes Time Traveling...

If you're just joining this series already in progress, then it means you don't have a time machine, so here's the short version: Every Tuesday (your present), I come back from my adventures time-traveling around MySpace and fill you in on what happened to people from my past as they keep slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.

Ah, here's one now...


Adam (not his real name) lived in my dorm when I was a freshman and sophomore in college.  He was a total dickhead.  I don't remember talking to him more than a few times.  He was a year older than most of my friends or I, so what would he, a high and mighty sophomore, have to share with any of us who weren't worthy of his wisdom?

As much of a lameass as Adam was, he paled before the hate his girlfriend Ricki (not her real name either) inspired.  She was a total cunt.  The assumption around the gossip-rich dorm was that she must have been one hell of a lay for him to put up with an attitude that stunk worse than whatever he usually kept his nose turned up at.

He married the cunt.  Go figure.  Then again, who else would have either of them?  It's like embedding toxic waste in radioactive concrete and dropping it to the bottom of the ocean; two problems compartmentalize one another out of our way for eternity.  I think they met in high school, so I doubt either ever dated anyone else, thus minimizing the damage of their damaged selves getting loose in the dating pool.  If only the same could be said of the gene pool.  They had a kid.

Hypothetical letter I'll probably never send to him:

One is a good number to stop at, just like when you were dating.

-Alex (and everyone else).

Copyright 2008 Ale[x]plorer.  All photos are of the actual individuals described above because, seriously, I can't make this shit up.
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