1. DO YOU BELIEVE IN JUST ONE "FAVORITE COLOR"?
No, my favorite color and I have an open relationship. I'm free to see other colors.
2. OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD, HOW MANY CHRISTMAS SONGS CAN YOU THINK OF?
Too many, but no one seems to notice the musically impoverised nature of Halloween. Gregorian chants don't count.
3. ARE YOU EVEN CHRISTIAN?
Not even remotely.
4. CAN YOU COUNT ALL THE FRECKLES ON YOUR BODY?
I can't bend that far. Here, you do it.
5. WHAT ARE THE IDEAL MEASUREMENTS FOR A WOMAN (your opinion)?
6. WHAT ARE THE IDEAL MEASUREMENTS FOR A MAN (your opinion)?
At least four orgasms.
7. HOW LONG ARE YOUR FINGERNAILS?
Actually, it's my teeth you want to watch out for.
8. HOW MANY PIERCINGS ARE IN YOUR EARS?
More than I want when I'm around babies with ear-piercing screams. This is #1 on my list of reasons why I don't want children.
9. IF YOU HAD TO HAVE AN 80'S-THEMED PARTY, WHICH THEME WOULD YOU PICK?
Star Wars. Because when else am I going to have an opportunity to dig out our lightsabers again?
10. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PUNCTURE WOUND?
You really need to talk to your shrink about this fetish of yours.
11. NAME SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN'T STAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX:
Vaginas. Those things are just too weird.
12. NAME SOMETHING THAT YOU ADORE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX:
15. DID YOU HAVE A FAVORITE BEDTIME STORY AS A CHILD?
Johnny Carson's monologue.
16. WHO WAS THE WORST TEACHER/SUBJECT YOU EVER HAD?
I can't narrow it down to a single worst. I have enough on this list to fill the nine circles of hell though.
17. STATE YOUR BIGGEST COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR HOUSE/APT RIGHT NOW:
My partner has too much shit. And cats. They make even more shit.
18. HOW MANY EROGENOUS ZONES DO YOU HAVE?
How much time do you have?
19. WHAT IS THE COOLEST MOVIE CHARACTER YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
The Cowboy from "Mulholland Dr." Runner up: Emperor Palpatine in "Revenge of the Sith."
20. DOES YOUR CITY/TOWN/ETC HAVE MORE STARBUCKS OR DUNKIN DONUTS?
Like I've got time for this scavenger hunt right now.
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