Survey says...

Is it just my friends who post a million and one surveys on myspace?

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Nose job.  You have to look closely to see the one on the underside, but you would actually have to climb in my nose to see a couple of the other scars inside though.

2. WHAT ARE ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
I don't know.  I guess I need one of those blacklights like they use on CSI.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE??
Like God.  Mine is invisible and intangible, thus it's pretty hard to show you even if I could ever find it, let alone to make you believe it exists.  In fact, I don't think you should.

4. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
No, but the hospital staff apparently did.  I remember the doctor saying, "It's time!"

5. WHAT DO YOU MISS AT TIMES?
Breakfast.

6. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
No.  Their humor just doesn't do anything for me.

7. IF YOU DIED TOMORROW?
Wait, come back and tell me the first half the sentence so it won't come true...!

8. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
Someplace where people don't cram prepositions at the end of the sentence.

10. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
Apparently.  My students seem to have no idea what I'm talking about.

11. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX):
I've never received a gift of someone of the opposite sex.  Is that legal?

12. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Yes, but it would certainly give me a lot more opportunities to cheat on them.

14. BLONDE, REDHEAD, OR BRUNETTE?
Can I get close enough to see your roots?

15. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Surveys.

16. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Many, many, many.  Ahh, the days before caller ID.

17. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
Looking for something to take the minutes off my life I'm saving by not smoking.  Good thing this came along!

18. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PIZZA?
My teeth.

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
People not to know it's my birthday.  (Alternatively, hang gliding lessons.)

21. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING BLOOD?
Sequence its DNA (assuming, of course, it isn't just RBCs).

22. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
I've never been to any stars.  I wish I had been though, but then I really wouldn't have anything left to wish for once I arrived, so there.

23.WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
Whichever is moist.  Apparently that's your favorite, so who am I to disagree?

24. ANY BAD HABITS?
Filling out surveys.

25. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
I think it's more embarrassing when a cd is in your player.  Fortunately, I don't own any cds.

26. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No, but I'd hire me to do stuff I need to get done but won't let anyone else do because they can't do it just the way I would do it.

27. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
I'd tell you the answer to this but then I'd have to kill you.

28. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Yes.  I only say this because I don't get them anymore.

29. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
With a scalpel and then you quickly and firmly apply pressure around the opening.

30. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
The internet.  (See, here I am.)

31. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Of course, that's why I give away all this free personal information under this alias that pretty much everyone knows I go by anyway.

32. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
Sort of.  If I didn't tell someone about something in an email, then it didn't happen.

33. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Absolutely not.  I mean, isn't it obvious from the rest of this survey?

34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT
I've never worked in any part of the mosh industry.  I didn't even know that's where mosh came from.

35. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GIRL?
STDs.  If they're there, I'm not.

36. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
It's redundant by then.

37. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRONG POINTS?
I'm no structural engineer, but I'm going to guess the answer is yes, relatively speaking.

38. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN?
Yield.

39. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
All of them... in a box somewhere.

40. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
No.  Go read a book or write one even.  I'm just doing this to avoid recurring nightmares.  No, I don't have any, but I don't want to start a trend.

42. DO YOU LOVE THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS?
I can't even remember who posted it, but I'm guessing it's Libzie, and I sort of lust after her in spite of her supposedly large breasts (which are always cropped out of the frame on the pictures of her I remember seeing so far).

43. SUMMER OR WINTER?
We're sort of between them right now.  Ask me again in a few months.

44. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
If you hang out at a swinger's club often enough, it sort of becomes both.


Copyright 2005 Ale[x]plorer.
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