Survey says...

Is it just my friends who post a million and one surveys on myspace?

>When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water?
Start the hot water coming out the faucet until it's hot, then switch it to the shower, then turn on a little cold water, then get in.  I have very specific reasons for doing each of these steps in this order, and I'll defend them viciously if you challenge me.

>Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
Only when I'm on the toilet at someone's house where there's nothing else to read in the bathroom (How can people live without a magazine rack under their sink?).  Dani's dad read a shampoo bottle for Pert once.  Apparently it was as funny to him as it was to us to hear him begin this story by saying, "The other day I was reading my shampoo bottle in the shower."  We laughed for so long, he almost never got around to telling us what was so funny about it.  In fact, I can't even remember what he found funny about it.

>Do you moan like the people on the Herbal Essences commerical?
No.  And I don't trust any of those people in bed.

>Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
Yes, but not enough of them.

>Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
Apparently they slipped and hurt themselves very, very badly because I don't have any siblings to my knowledge.

>Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
That seems like an awful waste of water.

>Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
No, but I did to someone on my cell block.

>How old do you look?
Ummm.... Old enough to be told to act my age.

>How old do you act?
Like I'm having a mid-life crisis.  So, how did you know I was acting?

>What's the last song you sang?
I don't sing.  Maybe "We Don't Need Another Hero" by Tina Turner, but most wouldn't consider it singing.

>Have you recently become a member of anything?
No, and I don't need any "free literature" either, thanks.

>What are your plans for the weekend?
Hang gliding lessons.  Actually, mostly it was preparations for Halloween.  I'm getting a late start this year.

>Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Open.  Because you just can't trust anyone, especially those people in the Herbal Essences commericals.

>What's the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
That's she's in denial.  Apparently, white guys can talk her into just about anything.  Which puts me at an obvious advantage.

>Are you in love with anyone right now?
Yes, and it's not Condoleeza.

>Have you ever said I love you?

>What color is the carpet in your bedroom?
I've honestly never noticed.  According to Dani, it's beige.  (Yes, I had to ask.)

>Have you ever had a member of the opposite sex in your room?
Yes, but not enough of them.

>Who's the sexiest famous woman alive?
I sent out my list to a few friends, and they had to look up most of them.  Apparently the famous women I find attractive aren't all that famous.  Fine.  Okay, then.  Charlize Theron.

>Are you more creative alone, or with others?
I'm most creative alone, but my creation(s) has/have to be for someone else.  I have a million writing projects that I've never finished because I didn't have anyone in mind to send them to.  If they don't come up in a conversation, then I can't find a good reason to finish them.

>have you ever smuggled something into America?
No, but this sounds like fun.

>Do you end up making a fool of yourself when you try flirting with someone you like?
Probably.  But I never know, which is exactly why I probably end up making a fool of myself.

>Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
Yes.  In fact, I just hand Dani my guitars and take pictures of her "playing" them.  If she actually tries to play one, it's even sexier because she gets this look on her face where she's really concentrating, and I know one place where I've seen that look before.

>Do you believe that your name fits your personality?
No.  Which is why I changed it to Alex.  Or Alexplorer.  Or super-Alex-fragAlextic AlexpiAlexdoccious.

>Do you exercise before you eat in the morning?
I'm lucky if I even have the energy to eat in the morning.

>Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
You ask that like I know which sports teams are good.

>Is it better to be single or in a relationship?
How about an open relationship?

>What do you think about the person who sent you this survey?
I'm jealous of him because I think he and Valerie would be perfect together, but I don't know that I'd be perfect for her.

>What do you wear all the time?
Dandruff.  And those microscopic mites they show on science programs just to creep people out.

>Where do you live?
On the internet.  That's where you found me, isn't it?

>When did you learn to swim? Was it traumtizing?
I took swimming lessons from a couple of lesbians who gave them in their back yard.  Unfortunately, I was maybe 8 years-old and they were in their 40s, so it wasn't as "Showtime" as you're probably thinking.  It wasn't traumatizing through.  I did have a crush on a girl in my class.

>Do you feel stupid for doing these?
Maybe this one, but I think they have the potential for a lot of self-discovery even if the questions are sometimes silly.  If you actually read this far, great.  Now it's your turn.

Copyright 2005 Ale[x]plorer.
Back to the index