>Last thing you burned while attempting to cook?
Any future desire to cook. (This happened a long, long time ago.)
>Describe yourself in three "s" words:
Simultaneous. (I wrote the other two at the same time, so you can't see them now.)
>How long does it take you to get ready for your day?
Longer than it takes to get to work. Which is why I'm always late.
>Favorite place to blow $50?
Strip club? Anywhere else I could blow more than that. Maybe a sushi place if I could eat more than I do.
>How many people have you thought were "the one"?
Two. I was wrong at least once.
>What is something that turns you off from the opposite sex?
>What celebrity would you have coffee with?
I don't drink coffee.
>What celebrity would you NOT have coffee with?
I would not have coffee with anyone. (See above.)
>What kind of toothpaste do you use?
Whatever Dani bought that she changed her mind about and now I have to use because I can't bring myself to throw it away.
>What time do you go to bed?
Bedtime? Say, who's in Grant's tomb?
>Last movie you saw?
"Where's Poppa?" (Very twisted old move. If you liked "Harold & Maude," you will love this.)
>Last TV show you watched?
About 15 minutes of 60 Minutes.
>Who is your best friend?
Dani. This stray dog we just adopted thinks she is, but she's an idiot.
>Who in your family do you best get along with?
Dani. I wish it was me, but it isn't.
>Who do you have a crush on?
Judy Greer. If you know who she is, you either know too many D-list celebrities and are a freak ...or you are a freak for liking Judy Greer and thus are very, very cool.
>What time is it right now?
Wasted. Doing surveys.
>Are you planning a vacation/travel?
Are you planning on robbing my house? Mind your own business.
>When/Where was the last time you traveled?
Road trip to El Paso over the summer. Because that's when you want to be in El Paso. In the summer.
>How old will you be in 10 years?
>Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
The mirror. Same as I see myself now.
>Sinful snacking weakness?
The blood of children. Or Skittles.
No, the meds helped level things, thanks.
>Ever run out of gas?
Not when Dani forces me to eat Mexican food.
>Ever been on a train?
Yes. You know "Soul Train?" Well, it was exactly the opposite of that.
>Ever been on a blind date?
Yes, a couple times. I'm a slow learner.
>Ever been to Europe?
No, just Epcot's version in fast-forward.
>What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for one day?
>Would you tell anyone it was really you?
Only if it would get Portia de Rossi to join us.
>Have a crush on anyone you work with?
Not really. She's not my type, so I just fantasize about her for want of better material to work with.
>What is something you believe in?
Gravity. Yes, I know it's *just* a theory.
>Big or small?
>Ever photoshopped yourself to look better in a picture?
I took pictures of us in our Matrix Halloween outfits a couple years ago and made mock movie posters. That's like one step above going to a renaissance fair and just a notch below backyard wrestling on the complete dork end of the spectrum, I know.
>Tell us something about your childhood.
Two words: Catholic school. I guess that sums it up now, doesn't it?
>What would it cost for you to flash the person next to you?
How much are you offering? (Note: Quid pro quo will work for me if you're short on cash.)
>Best time to catch you in a good mood?
I can't think of any.
>What is one of your pet peeves?
People who don't understand that/why mufflers are required (and cops who don't enforce this).
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