Survey says...

Is it just my friends who post a million and one surveys on myspace?

>Last thing you burned while attempting to cook?
Any future desire to cook.  (This happened a long, long time ago.)

>Describe yourself in three "s" words:
Simultaneous.  (I wrote the other two at the same time, so you can't see them now.)

>How long does it take you to get ready for your day?
Longer than it takes to get to work.  Which is why I'm always late.

>Favorite place to blow $50?
Strip club?  Anywhere else I could blow more than that.  Maybe a sushi place if I could eat more than I do.

>How many people have you thought were "the one"?
Two.  I was wrong at least once.

>What is something that turns you off from the opposite sex?

>What celebrity would you have coffee with?
I don't drink coffee.

>What celebrity would you NOT have coffee with?
I would not have coffee with anyone.  (See above.)

>What kind of toothpaste do you use?
Whatever Dani bought that she changed her mind about and now I have to use because I can't bring myself to throw it away.

>What time do you go to bed?
Bedtime?  Say, who's in Grant's tomb?

>Last movie you saw?
"Where's Poppa?"  (Very twisted old move.  If you liked "Harold & Maude," you will love this.)

>Last TV show you watched?
About 15 minutes of 60 Minutes.

>Who is your best friend?
Dani.  This stray dog we just adopted thinks she is, but she's an idiot.

>Who in your family do you best get along with?
Dani.  I wish it was me, but it isn't.

>Who do you have a crush on?
Judy Greer.  If you know who she is, you either know too many D-list celebrities and are a freak ...or you are a freak for liking Judy Greer and thus are very, very cool.

>What time is it right now?
Wasted.  Doing surveys.

>Are you planning a vacation/travel?
Are you planning on robbing my house?  Mind your own business.

>When/Where was the last time you traveled?
Road trip to El Paso over the summer.  Because that's when you want to be in El Paso.  In the summer.

>How old will you be in 10 years?

>Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
The mirror.  Same as I see myself now.

>Sinful snacking weakness?
The blood of children.  Or Skittles.

No, the meds helped level things, thanks.

>Ever run out of gas?
Not when Dani forces me to eat Mexican food.

>Ever been on a train?
Yes.  You know "Soul Train?"  Well, it was exactly the opposite of that.

>Ever been on a blind date?
Yes, a couple times.  I'm a slow learner.

>Ever been to Europe?
No, just Epcot's version in fast-forward.

>What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for one day?
Ellen Degenres.

>Would you tell anyone it was really you?
Only if it would get Portia de Rossi to join us.

>Have a crush on anyone you work with?
Not really.  She's not my type, so I just fantasize about her for want of better material to work with.

>What is something you believe in?
Gravity.  Yes, I know it's *just* a theory.

>Big or small?
Heh.  (grin!)

>Ever photoshopped yourself to look better in a picture?
I took pictures of us in our Matrix Halloween outfits a couple years ago and made mock movie posters.  That's like one step above going to a renaissance fair and just a notch below backyard wrestling on the complete dork end of the spectrum, I know.

>Tell us something about your childhood.
Two words: Catholic school.  I guess that sums it up now, doesn't it?

>What would it cost for you to flash the person next to you?
How much are you offering?  (Note: Quid pro quo will work for me if you're short on cash.)

>Best time to catch you in a good mood?
I can't think of any.

>What is one of your pet peeves?
People who don't understand that/why mufflers are required (and cops who don't enforce this).

Copyright 2005 Ale[x]plorer.
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