Confusing correlation and causality

A science lesson.  Sort of.

All I have to do to cause an accident for someone somewhere within a few miles of me is to walk out my front door while talking on the phone.  Within minutes, the deafening sound of helicopter rotors will drown out the conversation as one of the nearby hospitals dispatches its copter to the accident I caused by answering the phone.  You're welcome for the transplant, Mr. Organ Failure guy in my neighborhood!

So why did I pick up the phone in the first place?  Well, I made it ring by doing one of two things: Going to the bathroom or walking to the opposite end of the house from the phone charger.  Somehow this triggers ripples in the universe that induce someone --anyone-- to call  me.  I wish I could channel this power such that I could direct it exclusively towards friends or people looking to give away money to strangers, but somehow telemarketers get this signal all too frequently.

The only phenomenon I have observed so far that is specific to one person happens to work only with Dani.  She can be nowhere around when I pick up the phone, but at the moment it beeps for me to leave a message, that's when Dani will call out a question as she is walking toward me.  The message I leave invariably sounds like this: "Wait.  Hold on.  Dani, how the fuck do you always come in the room precisely when I get someone's voice mail?  How is it the timing is such that you always make me talk to you while someone is recording me?"

Is it a coincidence or do I bring these things on myself?


Copyright 2007 Ale[x]perimentale[x].
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