I Want To Be a Robot
Top Reasons Why:
So I won't have to wait for traffic lights
anymore since I can use my pogo legs to jump over intersections.
So I can make friends by heating up sandwiches
in the park with my lasers.
So I can precisely replicate the calls of
extinct birds to pick up hot ornithology chicks at parties.
So I can use my super-computer brain instead
of just doubling the tax to calculate the tip.
So I can go to churches and fuck with priests
by rotating my head all the way around.
So I won't have to shave anymore in order
to look shiny and new.
So I can scale skyscrapers with my suction
So I can see use my x-ray vision to see girls
naked without them knowing. (Oh, great. I just spoiled the
secret about robots and boosted the sales of lead-lined underwear by about
So I can use my built-in sampler to synthesize
new voices for the best prank calls ever made.
So I can play both bass and lead guitar at
the same time with my retractable set of extra arms.
So why do you want to be a robot?
So I can vote Republican without worrying
about things like facts or ethics.