I am an ENTP on the Meyers-Briggs personality inventory. My IQ reports in the gifted to genius range. I have a BS in zoology with a minor in chemistry, an M.Ed. in secondary science education, and am about to finish a master's in neuroscience. I could tell you more about the role of L-type voltage dependent calcium channels in bursts of action potentials in neuronal networks cultured on micro electrode arrays than you ever want to know. But I won't.
I still think prank phone calls are funny and believe "caller ID" took away a rite of passage for generations to come. I talk to strangers in checkout lines at the supermarket and draw their attention to unusual combinations of items in their baskets. I adopt controversial but fictional personas to entertain myself and challenge the prejudices of judgmental individuals. I honk and wave at people on the street who I don't know just to see how they will react.
I built the only guitar with an on-board 7-band EQ and 12-position varitone known to be in existence. I rock most awesomely. I also play bass and keyboard, and can play the riff from the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction" on the violin. But I frighten animals and small children when I play the saxophone. I have never taken a music lesson, yet I taught myself music theory beyond the level attained by many professional musicians. I have 2,753 mp3s on my hard drive.
I have seen 89.2% of the Academy Award winners for Best Picture since 1929. I have watched all the movies on the AFI's Top 100 All-time Greatest list, and I disagree with many of their choices. While channel surfing, I can identify -by name- movies I have never even seen. I watch foreign films in fast forward because that's the fastest way to read the subtitles. I can appreciate the new Star Wars movies for what they are and don't lose any sleep over what they should have been. I know most of the best audience participation parts in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I am kind and always rewind.
I don't watch sports and never force anyone else to. I have seen all but four episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I believe Seinfeld was probably the funniest show ever, and would almost certainly make a great primer on urban American culture for visiting extraterestrials. I know who killed Laura Palmer. I can translate Dennis Miller's most obscure references for you. I never watch re-runs. Ever.
My literary tastes are wildly varied. I have read nearly everything by Kurt Vonnegut and Frank Herbert, but I quit reading fiction several years ago for reasons that are too involved to explain in this medium. I think bathroom graffiti is an under-appreciated literary genre. I am up-to-date on current events around the world and consume more science literature than anyone I know. I am working my way through the dictionary at the moment even though I consistently score "excellent" on the "Word Power" quiz in Reader's Digest.
I know how to perform numerous acts of preventive maintenance on my car. The lights and appliances in my house can be operated by remote control. I painted my own garage and electrified my fence to keep dogs from digging under it. I wash dishes and do my own laundry, usually while talking on the phone. I cook several meals at once to save energy, both my own and for the environment. All of my bills are paid on time. My grocery lists are typed.
I know some of the funniest sites (and sights) on the internet. I can advise you on how to sell your unwanted belongings more efficiently on eBay. I built a really great website to teach electronics, but never uploaded it. I know more keyboard shortcuts than your nerdy brother. I understand how WinZip makes files so small. I discovered several novel applications of the "search and replace" function in word processing programs that few people ever realize. Even when I'm not using a computer, I multi-task during virtually all my waking hours.
My impression of Tim Curry is unparalleled, especially when I read "The Cat in the Hat" aloud (in the role of the title character, of course, but you already guessed that). Children are impressed at the way I can pull off my thumb... and then appear to eat it! I can change traffic lights from red to green by simply staring at them. I fathered Jodie Foster's children to impress the President.
I dress up occasionally, but am most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I defiantly wear Converse hi-tops on rainy days, even though they are made of permeable canvas. I occasionally wear name tags to better express myself (e.g. "Hello, I'm..." Single, Evil, etc.). My collection of over-the-top Ralph Marlin ties is second to none.
Few can best me at Trivial Pursuit. I start Tetris on the highest level to save time. I could beat Mark McGrath on "Rock and Roll Jeopardy" or any other celebrity on regular Jeopardy for that matter. I have come to view "Boggle" as a metaphor for information theory and epistemology. I think strip poker is a game for two. As is "Truth or Dare."
I'm unabashedly affectionate. I'll tag along on a shopping trip and not complain. I will just kiss my special someone for absolutely no reason while waiting for her to find something she likes on said shopping trip. I leave love notes and remember what you said your favorite candy is. I'll think you look sexy in jeans and a t-shirt, and don't care if you ever wear make-up. I prefer to shower, but I think bathing is a great double's activity. Ditto for spooning on the couch.
For fun, I write on-line dating profiles and essays on the nature of cognition. I have a partial theory for the unification of general relativity and quantum mechanics. I'll do your resume for you without your having to ask. I can edit others' work without imposing myself on their style. I know APA format, but don't necessarily think it is the best.
I foster dogs for local animal shelters. My nails are always neatly trimmed. I cut my own hair. I'll play with yours if you like. I reduce, reuse, and recycle. I eat my veggies and drink milk. Mothers like me.
But I have not yet met the love of my life.
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