People who actually have a Top 40 (Forty!!!) friends. WTF? Imagine what that does to Friend Number 40. They're thinking, "Well, I know where I stand with that friend..." Better idea, just stop at maybe eight or so, and let everyone else's inflated egos assume they're Friend No. 9 or something.
People who post nothing but a group shot and never clarify which one of them the profile belongs to. Will the moron responsible for creating the ambiguous profile please step forward?!
People who put their age as 99 or some shit. If that's the case, you should be dead already. Here. I'll help.
People who set all their pics to private. Okay, the private profile thing is bullshit enough, but setting ALL your pics to private? You know who you are? You're a Jessica Alba. You know, one of those stupid cunts like who won't do nude scenes, just getting naked except for a thong and a wet t-shirt and assuming we don't have the imagination she lacks.
People with private blog entries. If it's a secret, maybe you ought not to be posting it on the internet at all, dumbfuck.
People who put moods on their MySpaces that should just read "confused." Come on! When did you ever use the word "quixotic" in a conversation? If you can't define it, you don't get to declare it.
People who set their profiles so that you can't even fucking write them unless you're already on their friend list. If I could, I'd send you a message politely asking you to insert a loaded firearm in your nose and pull the trigger.
People who only accept friend requests from people they already know. That's redundant. Get the fuck out of here and go play in fucking Facebook, you suckass bitches.
People who set their friend request gauntlet so you have to fill out a fucking CAPTCHA. Someone's trying to say hello, and you automatically assume they're a spammer? Request rescinded. Go fuck yourself.
People who set their friend request gauntlet so that they receive friend requests only from people they already know. Die. Just fucking die.
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