FAQ You!
Here's another profile I wrote for MySpace after tiring of the "insane asylum" version.  This sort of goes in another direction although I'm coopting yet another style and genre for my purposes.

We are proud to announce the release of Alexplorer to the public.  To better become acquainted with Alexplorer, please read the following FAQ...
Q: Is Alexplorer a person or a phenomenon?
A: Both.  Much like evolution, gravity, relativity, and so many other scientific discoveries, Alexplorer is simultaneously a theory as well as a fact.  Alexplorer has been proposed as a fundamental force of nature, but studies are pending as he has thus far has never been able to be contained.  This profile is merely an electronic embodiment of the phenomenon that goes by that name.

Q: What accessories does Alexplorer come with?
A: Alexplorer is fully equipped with a GPS, Alphasmart, and a digital camera.

Q: Where can I get an Alexplorer?
A: On-line, obviously.

Q: Does Alexplorer have any know bugs?
A: Yes, but Alexplorer is constantly being upgraded.  Alexplorer is guaranteed to be free of any viruses.

Q: Is Alexplorer available for weddings, birthdays, or other parties?
A: Yes, but Alexplorer won't bring you any presents and you will be expected to supply the cake for him to jump out of.

Q: Does Alexplorer have any special powers?
A: Yes.  Alexplorer can change red lights to green simply by staring at them for a while.

Q: What can I feed Alexplorer?  Does he like anything?
A: Alexplorer also loves sushi and nipples.  Not necessarily in that order.  Under no circumstances should Alexplorer be given Mexican food, especially after midnight.

Q: Is it also true that Alexplorer should never be around water?
A: Yes, if it is "holy water."

Q: What about bright lights?
A: They'll keep you warm.  Alexplorer will adjust the shutter speed accordingly.

Q: Is Alexplorer evil?
A: Yes.

Q: Can Alexplorer really travel through time?
A: Yes.  Most people do.  Those who are stuck in the past are defective.

Q: What does that button do?
A: Do NOT touch that button.  Ever!!!

Q: I have a question that isn't answered by this FAQ.
A: That isn't a question in and of itself, but feel free to use the contact link on this page.  Qualified experts will research your question and get back to you promptly.

Copyright Efficiency Ale[x]pert.

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