People who put bags of leaves on the curb. This is so stupid as to be pointless to go into, but let me put it this way: Didn't nature get by just fine before you fuckers bought a vacuum for your lawn? Yes, it did. Knock it the fuck off already.
People who post "missing cat" signs. Your cat never came to you when you had it. I don't care how much the reward is. NO ONE is going to catch a cat without a tranquilizer gun.
People (okay, women) for whom motherhood has subsumed their identity. I actually saw a MySpace profile with the tagline "Mommy is my name." That's fucking scary. When your social circle is so constricted that the only person who speaks to you in second-person is your offspring, you really need to get the fuck out of the house.
People who think an apostrophe means "here comes the S... duhrt!" (<--I read this in a forum and actually LOLed. Well said, so I'm stealing it!)
People who don't send out pictures after the party. You have a shared experience. You took pictures; most folks didn't. Would it kill you to zip them and send them out to your (ostensible) friends? Lazy fucks.
People (read: Texas women) who like Matthew McConaughey. WTF, ladies?! Do you dumb bitches have the extra chromosome he's missing?
People who don't spend change. Whether you're putting it in jars or (worse) letting it accumulate on every available countertop space, you're an idiot. Learn to do the math your cashier won't and spend that shit.
People who don't want to know the sex
of their baby until it's born. You'll have enough surprises over
the next 18 years; take advantage of the technology. What, are you
waiting to paint the nursery when the kid can inhale the fumes for him/herself?
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