The NatioALEXaminer Stories

The following is an actual news story.  My comments in brackets cannot improve on the content, but it's better than my typing LOL endlessly.

San Diego Diocese Files for Bankruptcy
Feb 28, 2007, 9:21 AM (ET)
SAN DIEGO (AP) - The Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection hours before it was scheduled to go to trial in the first of more than 140 lawsuits accusing priests of sexual abuse - a filing that automatically halted court proceedings scheduled for Wednesday. In a letter posted on the diocese's Web site, Bishop Robert H. Brom said the diocese made its decision because any damage awards in the earlier trials could deplete "diocesan and insurance resources" and leave nothing for other victims.  [Note that the term "victims" might reasonably be expanded to include you and me and all the other taxpayers who are footing the bill for this Chapter 11 filing by a TAX-EXEMPT institution.]

The diocese claimed in the filing late Tuesday $95.7 million in property holdings and another $60.4 million in liquid assets, including stocks, bonds and operating accounts.  [And in hindsight, they should have put these toward getting the priests cable and some lotion.  Or better yet: therapy, cable, and some lotion.]

San Diego is the fifth diocese in the nation to file for bankruptcy protection.  [Unfortunately, the distance between dogma and reality is too far apart to result in the (theo)logical domino effect this should lead to.]

Diocese officials and lawyers for the plaintiffs failed to reach a settlement during two days of negotiations that ended Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court.  [You have to wonder if this is the mingling of Church and State the religious right was hoping for?]

The diocese called plaintiffs' lawyers on Tuesday morning to make a "final and best" settlement offer, Micheal Webb, a lawyer for the diocese said. He declined to specify how much the church had offered, but said it was higher than total settlements reached in other dioceses in the United States.  [It's the opposite of poker.  They aren't bluffing, but the church has to raise to keep from showing its cards.]

"When they rejected it, we were left with no choice," Webb said. [Oh, come on.  Couldn't you, I don't know... PRAY?]

Lawyers for the plaintiffs said the amount the church offered was insufficient because the diocese had more plaintiffs than other jurisdictions.  [Thy docket runneth over!]

They also accused the church of using the bankruptcy filing as a way to keep potentially embarrassing information under wraps.  [Which is all the more ironic considering this is the religious group who most actively promotes confession.  Then again, if they practiced what they preached, then they would have castrated themselves long ago and avoided this mess.]

"For three years they've told people they want to settle, they want to be transparent," said John Manly, a lawyer for a plaintiff whose lawsuit is scheduled to go to trial in April, "but the moment it became clear the truth will come out through a jury trial, they sought to shut down victims' ability to get compensated and get out the truth."  [Well, that kind of backfired.  They've made a spectacle of themselves in the news by acting as guilty as they clearly are.]

In its filing, the diocese did not list the names of litigants who have filed sex-abuse claims, indicating that it has petitioned to enter those details under seal.  [If there's anything the church has had a lot of practice at by now, it's keeping secrets.]

The trial that had been scheduled to begin Wednesday arose from a woman's accusations that a priest forced her to have sex in his parish office in 1972, when she was 17. Three other trials were scheduled to follow, involving multiple victims and allegations that the diocese protected abusive priests by moving them from parish to parish. [You know, the fact that a priest had sex with a 17 year-old female is actually really shocking.  For all the wrong reasons.]

Plaintiffs with cases already released for trial may appeal for permission to let those trials move ahead. [Or as they call it, "The Second Coming."]

The diocese which covers San Diego and Imperial counties, has 98 churches, runs 50 schools.  [Wait.  What?  Here's an organization riddled with sex offenders and those who sheltered them from prosecution for decades.  And you're saying they run schools?  WHAT THE FUCK?!]

The other dioceses that have filed for bankruptcy protection are Davenport, Iowa; Portland, Ore.; Spokane, Wash.; and Tucson. Tucson has emerged from bankruptcy protection, while proposed settlements are awaiting final approval in Portland and Spokane. [Okay, what fucking idiots are buying raffle tickets in Tucson to pay to get the church out of bankruptcy?  You sick fucks are complicit in the crime after the fact.  I honestly wish I was wrong and there was a hell.]

Copyright 2007 "The NatioALEXaminer"... except the article, of course.
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