The NatioALEXaminer Stories

The following is an actual news story.  Sometimes the headlines make fun of themselves, but I'm going to be bold enough to comment (in bold, appropriately enough) anyway...

Teacher reassigned for anatomy drawings
Fri Jan 26, 2007, 8:22 PM ET
YONKERS, N.Y. - A teacher has been barred from classes after having his seventh-grade students draw male genitalia on the blackboard during health class, a school spokeswoman said Friday.  [Further, the textbooks with even more detailed versions of the offending images printed in them for "educational purposes" will be used a kindling for the bonfire upon which the teacher will be burned.]

The teacher, whose name was not made public, was assigned to administrative duties and Superintendent Bernard Pierorazio will ask trustees to fire him, said Yonkers school spokeswoman Jerilynne Fierstein. [See?  Fire him.  Heretic.]

"There was no way we were going to let him be in front of children," she said. [And how dare he have the balls to do something like try to teach sex ed to snickering middle schoolers?]

Fierstein said the state's seventh-grade curriculum calls for lessons in human anatomy and sexuality, but "as a teacher you have to be sensitive and you have to look at the age-appropriateness of any activity that you ask a child to do. And this was just not appropriate." [So the age-appropriate curriculum defined by the school board asked that sex and anatomy be taught using what?  Barbie dolls?]

Pierorazio said the teacher had began his lesson by asking students to volunteer to come to the board to draw male anatomy.  [This was as opposed to drawing genitalia on their desks, bathroom stalls, and everywhere else they would otherwise.]

Fierstein said the administration learned of the drawings, which occurred in a class of boys and girls at the Pearls Hawthorne school, when a parent complained.

Trustees will consider the teacher's firing at a March 21 meeting, she said.

Jon Klibonoff, a father of a student at the school, said he did not believe the material was inappropriate. [Especially considering the education most of them are getting at home off the internet.]

"This is biology, it's anatomy, it's human sexuality," he said. "They're in puberty. They're aware of it on one level or another."  [Namely, half of them have seen male genitals the last time they took a leak, and the other half have shown theirs to get a peek at the boys' parts.]

Fourth-grader Noah Klibonoff disagreed. [Being of course, the most reasonable and educated person from whom any reporter could elicit a contradictory viewpoint.]

"They're not supposed to know what it's supposed to look like at this age yet, so I think it's a little embarrassing and it's also a little inappropriate," he said. [The parents of Noah (whose name belies his up-bringing by bible-thumping zombies) also make certain he always sits to pee and bathes fully clothed so he won't see his own penis and possibly grow up wanting to suck what has for years always been just out of his reach of his mouth.]

Pierorazio issued a statement saying, "I will not tolerate insensitive, inappropriate behavior by any staff member toward our students. Every student's physical and emotional well-being is paramount in our decision making, therefore immediate action was taken." [...specifically, to tell kids that sex is a dirty, dirty thing and they can look forward someday to being fired by Puritans for doing their job.]

Copyright 2007 "The NatioALEXaminer"... except the article, of course.
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