Maybe we aren't so different after all...

Compare and Contrast: me and Republicans.

We wish Michael Moore would shut up.
Them: Because his movies make them look bad.
Me: Because he looks too goofy on talk shows for people to take the surprisingly great movies he makes seriously.

We despise Muslims.
Them: Because their fundamentalist religion is a danger to the future of humanity.
Me: Because they share essentially the same ideology as my fundamentalist Christian neighbors who hate them.

We hate Bill Mahr.
Them: They have no sense of what's funny and don't realize it.
Me: Bill Mahr has no sense of what's funny and doesn't realize it.

We hate the Dixie Chicks even more.
Them: They talk trash about the (outgoing) president.
Me: They're goddamned rednecks.

We wish Ellen Degeneres was straight.
Them: So she'll go to heaven.
Me: So she'll sleep with me.

Copyright 2009 Alexplorer.
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