Monster Mail

A dot.comrade pointed me to the Global Lake Monster Database, a collection of unsubstantiated anecdotes purporting to prove fundamentalist Christian ideology that the Earth is 6,000 years old.  I couldn't help but send the following letter by way of thanks, but to date there has been no response from

Dear GLMD,

Thank you for providing the public with this valuable service.  I can't tell you how often I've been near water that was thought to be "monster-free" only to find myself in the jaws of a lake monster without my lake monster repellent and lake monster anti-venom kit.  Thanks to your efforts and those of the Weekly World News in sharing information of this quality, many monster attacks can be averted on a global (can we say "monsterous"?) scale.

-A grateful reader.

p.s. Please also consider including sewer monsters in future updates to the database as this will help civil engineers design better methods of clearing backed-up lines due to monster poop.

Copyright 2007 Ale[x]olution.
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