Alexplorer's Humor Page

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Accumulated silliness you might enjoy.

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Text     Funnier than All Quiet on the Western Front!

• Projects:  Compilations of interesting bits.

• Fortune cookies -  ...in bed!

• Fun with universal translators -  When song lyrics and technology collide.

• Thoughts for the day -  In case you don't have any of your own.

• What's in a name? -  And how many ways can you say it?

• Anagrams - Mixing up my friends.
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• It's all about me:  Stuff I wrote about my favorite subject.

• Alex's guide to being Alexactly like Alex -  Because I'm a role model, see?

• Alex's care and feeding guide -  Excerpts from the 700+ page manual.

• Fun facts from the future -  Where there's a lot of alliteration, apparently.

• I want to be a robot -  This is my letter of resignation from humanity.

• Homework assignments -  Get a tutor.

• Ten Secrets About Alexplorer -  Shhhhhhhh...
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• Speaking of...:  Write the right way.

• Ten Grammar Annoyances -  LOL!!!!1

• Ten More Grammar Annoyances -  Excetera.

• Another Ten Grammar Annoyances -  I'm running out of red ink.

• Yet Another Ten Grammar Annoyances -  I'm running out of red ink.

• Still More Grammar Annoyances -  I'm running out of red ink.

• Grammar Annoyances, Part VI -  I'm running out of red ink.

• Prefixes gone wild! -  A grammar annoyances special report.

• Again with the Grammar Annoyances -  I'm running out of red ink.

• Skeleton Keys -  Why are these on my keyboard?
..
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• Bring on the hate:  Therapy.

• The 10 Stoopidest Body Parts -  Give me a hand.

• New slogans for cereal -  Stays snarky in milk.

• Names I hate -  The name says it all.

• Stuff I Hate... -  Part One of infinity.

• More stuff I hate... -  Not mentioned: Complainers who make lists.

• People I Hate -  Just for starters.

• More People I Hate -  An on-going compilation.

• Still More People I Hate -  It goes on and on.

• Does Alex think you're stupid? -  Yes.

• Five Fashions that Annoy Me -  Poo poo on your moo moo, lady!
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• .AleXXX-rated:  Reader indiscretions are encouraged.
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• Fuck buddy screener -  A high score means you'll score with me.

• Why you need Alex as a fuck buddy -  Assuming you passed the screener above.

• I have a huge cock -  All you ever needed to know about Alex but were afraid to ask.
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• Church and State: A mix along the lines of holy water and crude oil.

• A Sequel to Passion of the Christ -  Let's crucify Mel Gibson if he doesn't make this!

• Bumper Stickers -  Tailgating doesn't mean I follow you or your god, buddy.

• "Christ, Scientist" and Other Oxymorons -  Scientists rely on evidence, not faith.  Duh.

• Monster Mail -  Putting the God in Godzilla.

• Jesus is the reason for the season -  ...of Halloween, that is!

• Not Every Ejaculation Deserves a Name -  Republicans are jerk-offs.

• Gay Marriage -  If you read this, you will go to hell.  No, I mean it.

• But they're going to vote... -  The pitfalls of democracy.

• Dear President Bush -  A consultation with the theologian in chief.
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• Close to home:  Cleaning house.

• Things Dani has forgotten -  There are more of these than I can remember.

• Things Dani does to annoy me -  A partial list.

• More things Dani does to annoy me -  Part II

• Still more things Dani does to annoy me -  Part III

• Dani annoys me: Late addition -  Also known as the anniversary edition.

• The Rules for Dating Dani -  Dani is funnier than I am.

• Naming the Baby, Part I -  Girls' names.

• Naming the Baby, Part II -  Boys' names.

• Gus Is a Big Fat Baby -  Watch.  Boo!
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• Five haiku...

• ...from and inspired by David Lynch movies

• ...from and inspired by movies with numbers in their titles

• ...about and inspired by celebrities

• ...from and inspired by bands and their songs

• ...induced and inspired by my and others' mental illnesses

• ...about food
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• Alexplorer's Guide to Roadside Signs: Signs of the times?

• Part I

• Part II

• Part III
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• True stories:  Well, they're true enough.
 
• Sixty Second Stories -  Got a minute?

• Who Moved My Cheese(burger)? -  A scavenger hunt with only one item.

• My memory is garbage -  Talking trash, man.

• There's too much gravity in our bathroom -  The toilet works though.

• Confusing correlation and causality -  Alternatively, maybe I'm psychic.

• eBay: Land of the Lost -  The problem with the global village is all the global village idiots.

• eBay hits -  Adventures in e-commerce.

• Cold case file -  This was written by someone really sick.

• Wedding stung -  I don't  cater to those with attitudes.

• A redneck wedding -  Let them eat cake.

• Haiku, haiku very much -  What poetry says about you.
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• College humor:  True tales from my undergrad email.

• Failure to communicate -  Don't forget your babelfish.

• Cruelty -  I don't mean to be mean.

• Blurring the (punch)line -  Are you joking?

• Not a Peep out of you -  Meet Psycho Ann... in the parking lot.

• Ron jokes -  The joke's on him that he's not funny.

• Joey's Xmas wishes -  All he wants for xmas...

• Untitled drunk story #1 -  Hypnoholic.

• Untitled drunk story #2 -  One for the road.
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• Craigslist.com: It's a list of idiots, that's what it is.

• Kinky sex furniture for sale -  Futon fetish, anyone?

• I deal with idiots on Craigslist -   No, wait.  I don't.

• Stupid Craigslist questions -  A tutorial through examples
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• Letters:  Going postal.

• Dear U-Hole -  ...or Go Truck Yourself.

• Debt collectors -  Owe, well.

• A letter to Guitar Center -  A response to a different sort of guitar lesson.

• Catch her in the wry -  If Mark David Chapman was on MySpace.

• A cryptic letter from Lisa -  And some attempts to crack the code.

• The turquoise Is gone -  An investigative report pulled out of my ass.

• Tina's Top Ten -  Truly too much tv.

• I feel neglected -  Sometimes your blog writes you.

• Questionable -  Ask me again sometime.
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• Found:  Funny, but not by me.

• How to shower -  Aquatic gender studies.

• Parenting Exam -  Easier than your driving exam.

• Kittens for sale -  They're only "slightly eaten."

• Math problems -  That's not all they're struggling with.

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On the media     Words about every other medium that uses words.

• Multi-media madness

• Books for Dummies -  Required reading for MENSA members.

• Dear NPR -  A love letter to Diane Rehm and pals.

• Reality TV -  It's not for oxymorons anymore.

• Law & DisOrder -  Not everything is in black and white.

• Things you know because of TV... -  This should be a very short list.

• The Ten Stoopist Sequel Titles Ever -  Part one.

• (Adult) Movies -  ...in my pants!

• And Justice For All... -  Guitar Hero changes its name.

• DVD Hell - When I watch movies, it's hardly "Alex in Wonderland."

• Open letter: DVD or not DVD? -  Any questions?

• Letter from a fanboy -  Schizophrenia and comic books go hand in hand.
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• Celebs

• The Eyes of Shannen Doherty -  ...are not in the same zip code as one another.

• What wouldn't Anna Nicole Smith put in her body? -  A memorium.

• Celebs from Missouri -  Speculative fiction.

• Crocodile Tears -  This one is going to sting.

• Chuck Norris rawks! -  Prepare for the roundhouse.

• Jack Bauer rawks even harder! -  Just when you thought it couldn't get any sillier.

• George says... -  My favorite George Carlin quotes.

• The wit and wisdom of Seanbaby -  Some of the best of the famous web personality.
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• Hated, Over-rated, and Over-berated: What the E! network would never say.

• Part I: The Hated -  They deserve abuse, not adulation..

• Part II: The Over-rated -  Their press agents have more talent than they do.

• Part III: The Over-berated -  Focus the hate on the real enemy: George W. Bush.
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• Star Wars

• Top sexually tilted lines in the Star Wars saga -  The ultimate compilation.

• Guitar Wars -  Which instruments would the Star Wars characters play?

• Selected reviews of the Star Wars Holiday Special -  The horror... the horror.

• The Candid Emperor Palpatine -  Many Bothan spies died to bring you this exposé.

• No, Carrie... I am your mother! -  Revelations!

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Time Traveling     It's just a jump to the left!

 

Mindy	Cindy	Elena	Shane
Cathleen	Henry	Regina	Jill
Lauren	Roy	Mark	Betty
James	Angela	Chip	Paxton
Donna	Ray	Les	Bill
Shelly	May	Dan	Richie
Melanie	Roger	Brent	Bobby
Rick	Janice	Molly	Hope
Evan	Eric	Blake	Yvonne
Greg	Margaret	Duane	AJ
Eleanor	Martin	Phillip	Ann
Dave	Rachel	Jayne	Tonya
Rana	Sharon	Jana	Jack
Connie	Lori	Leroy	Colin
Tommy	Johnny	Randy	Adam
Justin	Patty	Karl

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Bonus: Time-Traveling Radio

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In the news...     It's a sad, sad, sad, sad world, but I can't help but laugh at the headlines!

• Introduction

 

December 2007	November 2007	October 2007
September 2007	August 2007	July 2007
June 2007	May 2007	April 2007
March 2007	February 2007	January 2007
December 2006	November 2006	October 2006
September 2006	August 2006	July 2006
June 2006	May 2006	April 2006
March 2006	February 2006	January 2006
December 2005	November 2005	October 2005
September 2005	August 2005	July 2005
June 2005	May 2005	April 2005
March 2005	February 2005	January 2005
December 2004	November 2004	October 2004

• Conclusion

 
• Articluations:  The funny pages don't always have pictures.

• 'Gilligan's' Mary Ann caught with dope -  No, not Hugh Grant.

• Wal-Mart apologizes to Muslim woman -  That they can't take back dogma over hree centuries old.

• Chocolate Jesus sculpture returns to NYC -  The second coming?

• Church learns vet was gay, cancels memorial -  Christianity collapses under sheer enormity of the hypocrisy.

• Arkansas couple welcomes 17th child -  Meanwhile cloning is still illegal.  Go figure.

• Sexual abuse not just a Catholic problem: Vatican -  That doesn't sound like an apology.

• N.H. lawmakers approve civil unions -  But the opposition can't be civilized.

• Chocolate Jesus show canceled -  Sweet Jesus!

• Iran outraged by Hollywood war epic -  Actually, they're outraged by just about anything.

• San Diego Diocese Files for Bankruptcy -  And not just morally.

• Teacher reassigned for anatomy drawings -  Yep.  The principal's a dick.

• '12-year-old' is 29-year-old sex offender -  A different kind of problem in your 7th grade math class.

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Galleries     This is what happens when journalistic pretension gets its hands on a digicam.

• Out:  And about.

• Alexploring the Wax Museum -  ...and wondering where are the wicks?

• Dani's Brokeback Birthday -  Happy birthday horse poo.

• Surprise Birthday -  Happy birthday two you.

• Snack 'n' Gag -  Gifted party-goers.

• Chinese New Year -  The cultural resolution.

• Katherine's 35th Birthday -  Pub crawl.

• I'm moving to California -  California dreamin'.

 
• Dorm Days:  Decking the residence halls.

• Part I

• Part II

• Part III

• Part IV

• Part "Me"

• Scavenger Hunt

• Elena is a Vampire -  A PSA.

• My birthday, Joey's birthday -  And cake.
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• Green Pieces:  Crimes against nature.

• Too Much - Really, it's just too much.

• Fiddling on the Roof -  aka thermodynamics for obsessive compulsives.

• Environmentalex -  With special emphasis on the "mental."
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• Found:  ...and made fun of.

• Flight Safety -  A literary analysis.

• Unwanted toys -  Nothing on your xmas list.

• Around town -  Sights I can't believe I've seen.

• Misc. Finds -  Odd discoveries in mundane places.

• Yawning Bunnies? -  Not as boring as they would seem to imply.

• Weirdness -  Things you don't see every day.

• Alexplorer's Asian Grocery Adventures #1 - You aren't going to eat that?

• Alexplorer's Asian Grocery Adventures #2 -  Back for seconds.

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MySpace and On-line Dating     Some of the greatest literature produced by this generation is only being read by desperate singles!

• General insanity

• What if personals sites had feedback like eBay? -  Welcome to the future of eDating!

• MySpace annoyances -  Meet my pet peeves.

• More MySpace annoyances -  Meet more of my pet peeves.

• Still more MySpace annoyances -  Meet still more of my pet peeves.

• Meet Jorge -  ...and put your high school Spanish to use.

• Say goodbye to Sally -  What's the opposite of a friend request?

• A reply to Ronnette -  Art is quite useless, except to be pretentious about.

• A better mousetrap -  Caught ya!

• Car-roded -  I better not ask her for a ride.

• Bad Dog's -  Your grammar stinks.

• Your bulletins suck -  But read mine for specifically why.

• My fav bulletin comment -  The one I left Jennie.

• My new hobby -  Sarcasm borne out of boredom.
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• Profiles I wrote

• My profile -  Don't laugh, it worked for me!

• My profile redux -  aka the "Director's Cut" of the above.

• Hugh Gallager's college admissions essay -  The inspiration for the above profile.

• Take your medicine -  Dates available by prescription only.

• Profile from an asylum -  If your shrink wrote your personal ad.

• FAQ you! -  Infrequently asked questions.
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• Funny profiles

• Personal ads I found -  Can you believe the bait on some of these hooks?!

• Funny ads -  Silliness could work, I suppose.

• More ads -  Alternative papers are the best, aren't they?!

 
• MySpace memes:  Survey says... Alex is sarcastic.
 

Survey #1	Survey #2	Survey #3
Survey #4	Survey #5	Survey #6
Survey #7	Survey #8	Survey #9
Survey #10	Survey #11	Survey #12
Survey #13	Survey #14	Survey #15

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Wedding Humor     I cry laughing at weddings.

• The Wedding Stinger:  You don't want me on your guest list.

• A Very Special Tarantino Wedding -  The Wedding Stinger strikes!

• Eskimatrimony -  The original version of the above my own partner wanted reposted.

• A Texas Wedding in King Arthur's Court -  The Wedding Stinger strikes again!

• Schoolhouse Wedding -  The Wedding Stinger strikes himself!

• Yet Another Wedding -  The Wedding Stinger strikes yet another time once more!

• Wedding at 7,500ft. -  The Wedding Stinger heads to the hills!

• Where's the Soul Food? -  Don't make the Wedding Stinger eat Mexican!

• Among the Flowers -  Where the Stinger waits to strike!
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• Bridal Conventions:  And we're anything but a conventional couple.

• Bridal Show -  The Wedding Stinger leaves skidmarks on the runway!

• Another Bridal Show -  Will we never learn?

• The Last Bridal Show -  Even the bride wouldn't come to this one with me.

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Humor Links     You forwarded them to me, now you visit them all!

• Fun and Funny -  Sites to waste time in. Recommended for immature viewers.

• Fun with Media -  Spinning humor in various media.

• Weirdness -  Quirky and then some.

• Star Wars fun -  Entertaining sites related to the "saga."

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Copyright 2004-2008 hystericAle[x].

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