Again with the grammar annoyances


Location.  Location.  Location.  Where's the a in realtor?  Yep.  How many of them are there?  Okay, good.  How many syllables is it?  Wrong!  Next time I hear you say real-a-tor, I'm going to drop a nuc-u-lear bomb on you.

Sometimes it's one word.  Other times it isn't.  Why is sometimes an accepted compound word, but we can't say othertimes those other times?

Because I sayed so!  Irregular(ly spelled) verbs stick around based on their frequency of usage.  "Say" is a much more common verb than "stay," so we conjugate the latter as "stayed," but somehow the former is "said" and not "sayed"... except when I'm writing late at night and read what I righted the next morning.

The opposite of a homonym: Route.  Is it pronounced like root or rout?  The road/song/show wasn't called Rout 66, was it?  Regardless, we already have one homonym each for both putative pronunciations.  Just spell it one way or the other so that this one is unambiguous.  That's the shortest root.  Or rout.

What planet are you on?  That's fine you don't capitalize it if we're talking about mud, but we live on a planet with the same name as that stuff on the surface of it.  If you're talking about a place and not potting soil, then it's called Earth.

Enough with the diphthongs.  One extra letter we don't need: Phoenix, Caesar, Oedipus, Phoebe, aesthetic, amoeba, subpoena, etc.  It's all Groek to me.

For you et al. who don't speak Latin.  Please learn what et al. means so that 1) you use it correctly and 2) you know where the abbreviation goes.  For example, et. al is not the way it goes, nor are they both abbreviations.  True, the language is extinct, but that also means these rules aren't going anywhere.  Learn them.  Or just go extinct.

Three-point shot.  Ellipsis points come in three to show that a statement is trailing off... except when it's the end of a sentence....  In that case, you're supposed to use four.  But if you're trailing off, you effectively didn't end the sentence.  So three ought to be good enough...

February.  It's the shortest month, so let's stop writing an extra letter that you hear pronounced only about as often as Febuary 29th comes around.

Hanged vs. hung.  It's bad enough that it's one more irregular conjugation floating around the lexicon.  Why the hell do we have to contend with this bifurcation based on a situationally-contingent application of the same infinitive?  I don't know whether the person who invented this shit should be hanged or hung from his balls.


Copyright 2009 Alexplorer.
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