Grammar Annoyances, Part VI

Yes, more of these.  You keep talking and writing, and I'll find more get get annoyed with how you're saying it.


Dollars and sense.  We write it as $100, but in practice we say a hundred dollars.  So why is it we put punctuation at the end of the sentence and (most) units of currency in front?  Centsless!

Tulle box.  How the hell did two completely oppositely gender-associated words end up pronounced the same way?

Who you calling naïve?  Unless you're as naïve as whoever named Mötley Crüe, you might know that the presence of an umlaut is to designate the fact that the second vowel of a putative diphthong is actually a second syllable.  But in a language full of irregularities and inconsistencies, do we still need it on as common a word as naive? (<--See?  The world didn't just fucking implode!)

I O Ewe.  You and ewe sound the same, and yet they have no letters in common, just genitals if someone happens to be drunk enough or Scottish enough not to differentiate.  Not that those are m(ewe)tually exclusive.

Hearken vs. harken.  The dictionary still says both are acceptable.  Of course, the spelling of hearken harkens back to a time when we presumably must have pronounced it that way.  Setting aside nostalgia, we don't anymore, so let's just go with the one spelling that reflects the language as it is accepted now.

Taken for granted.  I always thought it was one word.  In other word(s), I took that forgranted.

What's a period for anyway?  Although I'll never figure this out where women are concerned, I'm hopeful we can reengineer punctuation to be more sensible.  For example, periods are used to end declarative and imperative sentences, but they also mark abbreviations.  So tell me which of these purposes it serves when the sentence ends with an abbreviation such as et al.  The answer is both, but that looks awkward to me.  Even more so when if you end it with a question mark, exclamation point, etc.!  If there's a period next to an exclamation point, then the emotional tone seems on the verge of excitability, much like some women near a period.

Sure has no H.  Unless, of course, you're not shure how to spell it because it's 2am and you're sleepy and you don't care what you're writing because you're asleep at the keyboard.

Hand gliding.  Yes, you hang on with your hands (to some extent; it's actually the harness that holds you up), but it's a hang glider.  Next time you call it that, I'm getting out a noose to remind you what hanging actually entails.

Caricature vs charicterature.  Only the first one is an accurate representation, but I swear I've heard the latter as a genuine attempt at a pronouncimication.  (<--Oh, look what I just drew there.).


Copyright 2009 Alexplorer.
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