Ten Grammar More Annoyances

Punctuation outside the quotes.  I can't stand people who think a sentence could end like "this".  Exceptions are if you're quoting someone and the punctuation is yours and not theirs.  Do you understand why I'm calling you a "fucking idiot"?

Yay = A cheer.  Stop spelling it "yea."  That's like 75% of a "yeah."  You look stupider than a cheerleader spelling it like that.

Where it's at.  I'll tell you a secret: You don't need to end a sentence with "at."  This isn't one of those aesthetic issues like people who refuse to end any sentence with a preposition but instead make you rearrange the syntax and double the length of what you were originally going to say just to have one that doesn't with one.  No, it's just plain redundant.  Instead of "This is where it's at," you could say, "This is where it is."  Give me one sentence where you couldn't truncate the "at" without with preserving the original grammar.  If you can't, your complaints are redundant.

The comma before "too."  You have to say, "That one needs a comma, too."  On the other hand, "That one needs a comma also" doesn't get one.  So WTF?  Is this where they're putting all the commas that actually belong before "and" these days?

The apostrophized* "s" has reached epidemic proportions.  Not only is it being (mis!)applied to plural nouns, but now I'm even finding it's spreading to verbs that aren't even contractions like "walk's" and shit like that.  Now I'm having contractions.  I'm about to have kitten's!  What the fuck is wrong with these stupid fuck's?
*Fuck you.  I made up a word.

I.e. vs. e.g.  It ends now.  You're going to get the talk you never got from your English teacher.  "I.e." is short for id est.  In other words, it means "in other words" or (literally) "that is."  And "e.g." = "for example" (i.e., exempli gratia in Latin).  Stop saying "i.e." when you mean "for example."  If even abbreviations are too much for you to handle at this point, just stay the fuck away from the keyboard.

Comprise vs. compose.  Morons tend to think these words are synonyms, that they can be used interchangeably.  They aren't and they can't.  This isn't rocket science.  The whole is composed of the parts.  The parts comprise the whole.  It's that simple.  For example, "These grammar mistakes comprise reasons why you should be sterilized."  Contrast with, "I hope you ignorant fucks de-compose in a shallow grave."

Let's literally re-introduce the word figuratively into the wild.  See, "figuratively" has gone all but extinct while "literally" has encroached on areas where it doesn't belong.  I've heard/read so many people qualify metaphors and hyperbole as literally happening that all I can figure is their lives are allegories... literally!

Redundant prefixes.  I'm with Amy on this: Let's put a halt to saying "irregardless."  It isn't a word and, even if it were, it would mean the same thing without the prefix.  Look what happened when we let words like this get out of hand.  You can press or depress a button and it means the same damned thing.  And who knows how many deaths have been the result of confusion over the fact that inflammable means the same thing as its perceived opposite.  Now I'm depressed.  Yeah, confusing!

That's gay.  I want to fucking kill people 99% of the times I hear this.  The exceptions are the rare appropriate usages such as "Disco is gay" or "The Hell's Angels are gay" or "Everything they show on Bravo is gay."  Saying something's gay because you don't like it is something you should have given up before you were old enough to shave.  And saying something's "ghey" as an attempt at political correctness is doubly assinine and justification for me to fucking kill you in the face.

P.S.  Seriously, like I said in Part I, enough already with the elipses points without spaces...like this.  (As opposed to like... this.  See?)  It makes me claustrophobic and creates chunks of text that carry over to the next line as though they're a really large word.  My scroll wheel can't take the abuse.

Copyright 2008 Alexplorer.
Back to the index