Alex's Facebook profile FAQ

I posted this on my Facebook profile.  Unfortunately, no one will ever read it because I don't actually use Farcebook.  I get friend requests occassionally since my profile is set up under my email address, but I don't log in to add anyone.  So if you're reading these words, obviously it's not going to be on my Phasebook.

I posted this on my Facebook profile.  Unfortunately, no one will ever read it because I don't actually use Farcebook.  I get friend requests occassionally since my profile is set up under my email address, but I don't log in to add anyone.  So if you're reading these words, it's not on my Phasebook.

Q: Oh, so you finally got a Facebook?
A: Fuck you, you fucking fuck.  This is the third account I've had, and the first one was created before you fucking ever heard of Farcebook.  I was on MySpace before the first million people signed up.  I was even on Friendster, and you never even heard of that.  So what was I saying again?  Yeah, fuck you.

Q: What made you get one now?
A: I regularly considered getting a FB account for the last 24 months at the insistence of EVERYONE, but I keep returning to the fact that I don't care enough for a shitty interface and superficial interactions, so I just don't.  Lately I've been getting pestered three times a week (I'm not exaggerating) by different people about not having one anymore.

Q: Can I add you as a friend?
A: You probably shouldn't if your mom is on your friend list.  Seriously.  One of the reasons I stayed away from this site is because you morons don't know how to compartmentalize your online life the way you do your real life.  I mean, you don't take your mom to Rocky Horror, do you?  Why?  Because moms generally freak when anyone younger than them not working in the construction field says "fuck."  I say "fuck" a lot, and I will on your page if you add me.  Your call.

Q: Can I write on your wall?
A: No.  Why do you want to piss all over my nice clean wall?  I just moved in here, and you want to fuck it up already.

Q: Are you going to post shit like you did on MySpace?
A: I have no idea.  As I've told you before, I write for my own sake.  Sometimes I post it, but most of it doesn't go any farther than my hard drive.  I never used Facebook back when I had my previous accounts, so who knows?

Q: What about pictures of Stan?
A: You know where I live.  Bring a camera.


Copyright 2010 Alexplorer.
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