Elena is a vampire
Go on, be skeptical.  I don't care.  This page only exists to warn you so I can say, "I told you so" after the fact.

Most vampires cannot be photographed.  Though undeniably an introvert in most respects, like most vampires, Elena has an exhibitionist streak.  She manifests this by allowing photons that bounce off her to be recaptured and relayed by mirrors, film, and the retina of digital cameras.  Most vampires are merely metrosexual.

A with Trekkies and her fellow other vampires, Elena is completely asexual outside the confines of her skull and the fan fiction that eminates from it.  The obvious exception to this would be if she visited sci-fi conventions.  Unfortunately, she doesn't want to make the trip or this page would also document her sexual habits as well.

Warning: Elena should not be confused with Lesslie Hall, the gem sweater girl.  To aid in rapid disambiguation, check to see if the unidentified creature is wearing gold lycra pants.  If she is, then you will are safe from being struck by her fangs and/or a magic missle.

Note how Elena's mouth is never open.  This is because she cannot reveal the aforementioned fangs lest she be staked through her heart by a nearby Van Helsing descendant.

In this image, Elena is obscuring a clear view of her blood-suckers with this concise review of Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Note also that Elena is never seen in the sunlight.  This, coupled with her anemic state of hunger for hemoglobin, is the reason why her skin has an albedo sought by NASA engineers for spacesuit material.

If you can't find Elena in this picture, odds are you would have already been killed.

According to some sources, the vampire known as Elena is interested in "live action role-play."  For those who don't know much about vampires, this is analogous to Rob Halford of Judas Priest dressing up in leather during the '80s as an outlet to express his otherwise closeted homosexuality. 

Elena engages in live action role playing today for the same purpose as Mr. Halford did back then: so she can dress up as her real self.  Most days she's pretending.  Ironically, it is only on Halloween and at other gatherings of people playing make-believe that she lets her true self come out.


If you have any additional information about Elena her vampiric ways, please contact me immediately!

Copyright 2006 Alexplorer.
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