Fortune Cookies... in bed.

When I was teaching high school, my coworkers and I would frequent a favorite Chinese restaurant.  After the meal the ubiquitous fortune cookies would arrive and we'd all share a laugh by adding "...in bed" to the end of the fortune.  I collected the following from those meals.  It is amazing how dirty some of these get when you add those two little words!

Lately Dani and I have been going to a Japanese restaurant that unexpectedly gives out fortune cookies as well, so the collection is always growing.  I even bought a couple boxes full for a friend's Chinese New Years Party, then found she had a gazillion cookies there already, so she told me to keep them.  Thanks to friends and family for sharing theirs after dinner as well.  Now we can all enjoy them!




An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes... in bed.

Always take the time to say what's in your heart... in bed.

Your money should go to where it gets the highest return for the lowest risk... in bed.

A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you... in bed.

All your hard work will soon pay off... in bed.

You are sociable and entertaining... in bed.

You are a hard worker - really up and coming... in bed.

You are one of the people who goes places in life... in bed.

You are capable, competent, creative, careful.  Prove it... in bed.

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains... in bed.

Keep a level head in a crisis... in bed.

Turn a deaf ear to gossip... in bed.

Good news will be coming to you soon... in bed.

Share your happiness with others today... in bed.

The mysterious side of you is most alluring... in bed.

Remind a loved one that you care... in bed.

Nothing is certain but the unforeseen... in bed.

Someone is secretly in love with you... in bed.

You have strong personal ideas and convictions.  Treasure them... in bed.

Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it... in bed.

Good news from afar may bring you a welcome visitor... in bed.

You will soon be involved in many gatherings, parties and communications... in bed.

The more one knows the less one believes... in bed.

Find a release from your cares and have a good time... in bed.

Your eyes are the windows of your soul... in bed.

Helping a friend is like helping yourself... in bed.

You have great patience... in bed.

Beauty in its various forms appeals to you... in bed.

Honesty and integrity are just some of your best attributes... in bed.

Time is not measured by a watch, but by moments... in bed.

Sing and rejoice.  Fortune is smiling on you... in bed.

A challenge is near... in bed.

A fool at forty is a fool indeed... in bed.

You will do well expanding your business... in bed.

Good luck will soon come your way... in bed.

You may be conservative, cautious, and practical... in bed.

You have a kind and generous heart... in bed.

You may at one time be impractical, sporty, or intensely restless... in bed.

It is a good time to finish up old tasks... in bed.

You will take a chance in something in the near future ...in bed (I swear I didn't change the prepositions on this one!)

Your ability to juggle many tasks will take you far... in bed.

You have every qualification for success... in bed.

Happy event will take place shortly in your home... in bed.

Don't take things too seriously... in bed.

Answer just what your heart prompts you... in bed.

A truly good person does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone... in bed.

Your luck has been completely changed today... in bed.

You are more likely to give than to give in... in bed.

When someone wrongs you, it is a good virtue to ignore it... in bed.

Without music, life is a journey through a desert... in bed.

It is much wiser to take advice than to give it... in bed.

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking... in bed.

The object of oratory is not truth, but persuasion... in bed.

Accept the next proposition you hear... in bed.

You work best when meticulous attention to detail is called for... in bed.

You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself... in bed.

If you have confidence, you can gain confidence in others... in bed.

You enjoy using your imagination... in bed.

He who hurries cannot walk with dignity... in bed.

You are the center of every group's attention... in bed.

Your talents will be recognized and rewarded... in bed.

You like participation in competitive sports... in bed.

Don't let friends impose on you.  Work calmly and silently... in bed.

Pray for what you want, but work for the things you need... in bed.

You have a deep interest in all that is artistic... in bed.

You have an active mind and a keen imagination... in bed.

You will attend an unusual party... in bed.

Things are not always what they seem... in bed.

You will make a change for the better... in bed.

Appreciate the caring people who surround you... in bed.

Reasonable people endure; passionate people live... in bed.

Your popularity increases once you express your desires... in bed.

In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities... in bed.

It's time to patch up communications with a relative... in bed.

Your air of confidence naturally draws others to you... in bed.

You are going to have a very comfortable retirement... in bed.

You are sensitive and look deeply into yourself and others... in bed.

An admirer holds the key to more happiness... in bed.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder... in bed.

Don't be hasty, prosperity will knock on your door soon... in bed.

Relax and enjoy yourself... in bed.

A chance meeting opens new doors to success and friendship... in bed.

Be prepared for a sudden, needed, and happy change in plans... in bed.

You are heading for a land of sunshine and relaxation... in bed.

Pain is temporary; the success it brings can be everlasting... in bed.

You like participating in competitive sports... in bed.

Your mentality is alert, practical, and analytical... in bed.

Golden hours are coming to you... in bed. (Wait, "hours," not "showers."  Phew!)

Your efforts will be worthwhile... in bed.

Set your sights high, and enjoy striving for the best things in life... in bed.

Your mentality is practical and alert... in bed.

Someone is looking out for you... in bed.

You will be reunited with old friends... in bed.

Your mind is creative, original, and alert... in bed.

You are going to take a trip to the seaside... in bed.

You are sensitive and look deeply into yourself and others... in bed.

You will receive a gift from an unexpected acquaintance... in bed.

In every enterprise, consider the outcome... in bed.

You'll accomplish more later if you take some time for yourself... in bed.

You have an unusually magnetic personality... in bed.

Listen attentively.  You will come out ahead... in bed.

You will travel far and wide... in bed.

You should do well at making money and holding onto it... in bed.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams... in bed.

The things in us that we fear just want our love... in bed.

You will be successful in your career... in bed.

Your personality is fueled by the fascination you feel for life... in bed.

Your courage will reap rewards for you... in bed.

You are a deep thinker with a knack for problem solving... in bed.

Your careful nature will bring you financial success... in bed.

Fortune smiles upon you at this time... in bed.

Try something new and different.  You will like the results... in bed.

You will obtain you goal if you maintain your course... in bed.

Don't underestimate yourself.  Your social skills are needed by others at this time... in bed.

Now is a good time to finish up old tasks... in bed.

Give the benefit of the doubt to a loved one... in bed.

Seek out the significance of your problem at this time.  Try to understand... in bed.

Use your talents.  That's what they are intended for... in bed.

You will overcome difficult times... in bed.

Your fortune is not something to find but to unfold... in bed.

We are taught by ever person we meet... in bed.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted... in bed.

You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problem... in bed.

Your outlook for the future is optimistic... in bed.

This is the month when ingenuity stands high on the list... in bed.

You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself... in bed.

Your future will be happy and productive... in bed.

Fortune knocks at least once on every man's door.  Be sure to answer... in bed.

Don't be hasty; prosperity will knock on your door soon... in bed.

You will be graced by the presence of a loved one soon... in bed.

You will live a long life and eat many fortune cookies... in bed.

You are going to have a comfortable old age... in bed.

Be prepared to accept a wondrous opportunity in the days ahead... in bed.

Romance will come your way soon... in bed.

You will be graced by the presence of a loved one soon... in bed.

A family reunion in the coming months will be a tremendous success... in bed.

A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month... in bed.

Your future looks bright... in bed.

Soon life will become more interesting... in bed.

You won't be bored for long!  New adventures are on their way... in bed.

Good news will be brought to your by mail... in bed.

A charming friendship is in the making... in bed.

Your determination will bring you much success... in bed.

Your wisdom will find a way... in bed.

This weekend will bring you a surprise... in bed.

You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily... in bed.

You will soon be surrounded by good friends and laughter... in bed.

Your infinite capacity for patience will be rewarded sooner or later... in bed.

A friend will bring you a big surprise soon... in bed.

Bide your time, for success is near... in bed.

Your dearest wish will come true... in bed.

A gathering of friends brings you lots of luck this evening... in bed.

You will receive an unexpected gift from an acquaintance... in bed.

Flowers would brighten the day of your close friend... in bed.

Seek out the significance of your problem at this time.  Try to understand... in bed.

Your personality is fueled by the fascination you feel for life... in bed.

People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual... in bed.

You will find your solution where you least expect it... in bed.

You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily... in bed.

Soon, a visitor shall delight you... in bed.

Now is a good time for a new collection or hobby... in bed.

You will ind your horizons suddenly broadened... in bed.

You will be rewarded for being a good listener this week... in bed.

Try something new and different.  You will like the results in bed... in bed.

The next full moon brings an enchanted evening... in bed.

Don't underestimate yourself.  Your social skills are needed by others at this time... in bed.

Watch for a stranger to soon become a friend... in bed.

A new relationship is about to blossom.  You will be blessed... in bed.

A new pair of shoes will do you a world of good... in bed.

A movie would be a great way to relax this weekend... in bed.

You will find hidden treasures where you least expected... in bed.

You will soon be crossing desert sands for a fun vacation... in bed.

Be patient, good things come to those who wait... in bed.

You have a magnetic personality... in bed.

You will soon be given good advice... in bed.

Others admire your independence... in bed.

Calm, poise, & balance will help your life flourish... in bed.

You will become more passionate and determined about your vision... in bed.

Star light, star bright, your wish will come true tonight... in bed.

You shouldn't overspend at the moment.  Frugality is important... in bed.

Watch for a stranger to soon become a friend... in bed.

A simple kindness today will soon bring you unexpected rewards... in bed.

Soon, a visitor shall delight you... in bed.

The heart is wiser than the intellect... in bed.

Do something unusual tomorrow... in bed.

An unexpected visitor will bring you good blessings... in bed.

Remember three months from this date.  Good things are in store for you... in bed.

An unexpected event will soon make your life more exciting... in bed.

A member of your family will soon do something that will make you proud... in bed.

You will be rewarded for being a good listener this week... in bed.

You tend to draw out the goodness in people... in bed.

This coming Friday will be an exciting time for you... in bed.

Your qualities overshadow your weaknesses... in bed.

Grand adventures await those who are willing to turn the corner... in bed.

Your gifts are showing, use them to help others... in bed.

You will live a long, prosperous life... in bed.

Rely on long time friends to give you advice with your present question... in bed.

Have a vision.  Be demanding... in bed.

Change has both physical and psychological attributes... in bed.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance... in bed.

Speak out the problem at this time.  Try to understand... in bed.

Emotion is energy in motion... in bed.

Be most affectionate today... in bed.

It takes talent to recognize talent... in bed.

A perfect statue never comes from a bad mould... in bed.

It is better to be approximately right than precisely wrong... in bed.

Generocity and perfection are your assets - and they show... in bed.

To be mature is to accept imperfections... in bed.

You will get what your heart desires... in bed.

If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life... in bed.

Friendship is love with understanding... in bed.

Grand adventures await those who are willing to turn the corner... in bed.

Impossible standards just make life difficult... in bed.