I still have a huge cock
I have a Huge Cock
Parts II and III or "This one's longer."
The size of
my cock is a frequent source
of debate among the straight girls and a frequent source of disgust
among lesbians who envy its powers. Yes, for those who have not
experienced it intimately, it's hard to tell where the myth ends and
the man(hood) begins.
some more facts about having a huge cock that those not in the know
might be interested in knowing.
I will never complain about a girl not
being tight enough. I don't want virgins. In fact,
it's just plain uncomfortable to be with me for the first time for
pretty much any woman who hasn't had an episiotomy.
orgasms. No batteries required.
my days typing "You're welcome" to all the morning-after texts.
Actually, it's usually around lunchtime these start showing up for some
reason. I suppose the multiple orgasms result in a more restful
fall in love with me. You'd think all my other traits
would be enough, but once they've had the cock in them, well, that
seals the deal if there was any doubt before. Whether I like it
or not, unfortunately.
hurt me. It's like rolling a rubber band down a California
redwood. I finally upgraded to Magnums so sex didn't always have
an unintentional S&M component.
I can be
an asshole to women if I want. Not that I am (well,
usually; some girls deserve it). I generally like the company of
women even aside from those occasions when I happen to be filling them
to capacity with cock. Still, I get to be a big dick because I
know that they know that I have a big dick, and that means I don't need
to be polite.
giggle whenever anyone says "tripod." It's like someone
knows my secret nickname and doesn't know they're saying it, like when
you hear a child innocently say "beaver."
older women and taller women. Guys generally have
inferiority complexes. Maybe it stems from other deficits besides
having a small dick. Whatever the case, I absolutely dig women
with quantitatively greater life experiences than I've had yet.
And tall women? I like the extra headroom in there.
is always oxygenated. The extra blood supply required to
erect my above-average member means that I operate under the
intellectual equivalent of why endurance atheletes employ blood doping.
romantic. If you have a little dick, you're going to have
to put up quite the macho front to obfuscate that fact. Not
me. I cried at the end of the BBC version of "The Office."
Have the best engagement story ever. Was groomzilla (designed the
ring, the dress, the invitations, cakes, centerpieces, and
choreographed the ceremony and music). Never forgot a birthday or
anniversary. You think it's because I have a memory like an
elephant? No. Try another part of his anatomy.
myself a mom. Other stay-at-home dads would find it
emasculating to be called a "mom." Not me. You can't
emasculate someone with off-the-chart masculinity in the
sports. My best guess is that other guys need sports to
make them feel like men. If I'm ever in doubt, I can just look to
my own goalpost. Score!
I wanted a daughter. Yeah, Stan's
going to have a complex because I don't make a secret of this fact at
all. Why do guys want a son? Because a baby boy is like a
dick extension, and that's the last thing I need. I can hit your
cervix without involving your uterus.
own a gun. You can go ahead and do the "I'm just happy to
see you" joke anyway. But, really, this is self-explanitory.
double-takes from one-night stands. If you're one of my
friends, you've probably already read Part I of "I Have a Huge Cock" or
maybe Dani has told you about it. One-night stands don't get any
such warning. So I'll be undressing while she and I are talking
and/or kissing. She'll sneak a quick, discrete look "down
there." And then there's another quick look because, "Holy
Shit! I had no idea!"
no such thing as a girl "out of my league." Honestly, it
doesn't matter what you look like. You think you can do better,
you can't. If you pass on this opportunity, it's your loss.
orgasms. During sex (lazy doggy style) with one girl, I
reached down and asked if she wanted me to play with her clit.
She told me no. I asked why. It was a novel experience for
her to have full vaginal orgasms with just a cock. She didn't
need anything extra because that was more than enough to do the
job. I'm usually the first (and I hope not the last) guy to give
girls vaginal orgasms.
ask you for anal. If you're really into it, I'll ask if
you have a preferred proctologist, because he's going to be the next
one in the area.
me is always S&M. Actual quote from a partner: "You're
going to break me in half." Seriously. And I was going as
gently as I could.
you so afraid of black guys? Racists are just
jealous. They think black guys are going to get their girl and
give her a taste of what a real cock is. No worries here.
I'm no gansta, but I'm packing.
have any tattoos. I don't even wear shirts with anything
on them. All solid colors, and they're actually spring colors (or
gray; I have a lot of gray for some reason). Nothing too
loud. You know why? Having a huge cock means I don't have
to go around with plummage. When you're not so well-endowed, you
resort to dressing yourself up like a douchebag-shaped billboard.
If you were a un-funny comedian, you'd be screaming your jokes.
See Sam Kinison.
on Facebook. Admit it. Most of what you post and
what your friends (both actual and nominal-only) post shit to make
themselves look more appealing. My cock trumps that. You
think Ron Jeremy got by on his good looks? Hardly, and I mean
that in both senses.