Alex's care and feeding guide
The following are excerpts from the 700+ page manual.

Should you happen to have some food that you wish to offer him, stop and ask yourself, "In order to accuractely describe this substance, do I have to include any words between 'not' and 'spicy'?"  Please do not bother if any of the following qualifiers are required: "that," "really," "too," "very," etc.  Alex realizes you won't understand, but thinks that if you're going to try to feed him crap like this just because you like it, then you really ought to just fuck off because he's not having any of it.  Instead of trying to destroy the C-fibers in Alex's tongue, please instead consider feeding him sushi.

Copyright 2007 Alexplorer.
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