Naming the baby, Part I: Girls' names

These are by no means all the names I've suggested to Dani for our spawn-to-be, nor are my favorites necessarily included among this list, but the following are some of her responses to a selection of options.  I collected most of these lying in bed with the Alphasmart interrogating her as she was trying to drift off to sleep.  Yeah, some of the names are nutty and a lot of them were never under serious consideration, but I liked them for one reason for another (if only to provoke a reaction).


The majority of these just came from baby name books we marked up at night or on road trips while the other was driving, but I noted cases where the inspiration came from other sources.
Alexis (or Lex) - Sounds like a daytime soap opera star.  Or a made-for-tv movie whore.

Alice - She's a druggie.  [Note: I didn't get it at the time, but this was presumably a reference to the book Go Ask Alice.]

Amanda - They'll call her Mandie.  We don't like Mandie.

Amber - That's a whore!  (No offense, Amber.  It's one of my top 20 favorite names, but it's apparently one of Dani's most-hated.)

Amy - I don't have any violent feelings against it.

Aria - I like it, except people will think it's from "The Little Mermaid."
*Inspiration: We actually went though all the names of the guitars I own, and this is the only one I cared for.  I love Gretsch guitars, so Dani liked the name Gretchen (or another spelling), but I think that's gross.  Fender is too obvious, and Katherine and AleC are already Gibsons, so....

Arianna - Sounds like a movie George Clooney was in.

Aurora - People will never be able to say that.  It sounds like something a pug says that comes on David Letterman for a Stupid Pet Trick.
*Inspiration: This is one of several astronomy terms under consideration.  I went so far as to peruse the index of my college astronomy text for additional candidates.

Beryl - How do you spell that?  For a girl?  No.  It doesn't sound  like a name.  It would be pronounced Berl... like Milton Berl.
*Inspiration: It's the name of a mineral, but it's also a traditional Jewish name.  I knew a girl in college named that.  She was a geology major.

Chani - It sounds stupid.  Like Chachi.  Or a combination of Connie and Chung.
*Inspiration: Paul's sister in "Dune."  Also on the list is Alia, although if we have a daughter named that, I hope she'll forgive me after she reads the book(s).

Chiana - I don't like anything with "Chuh."  It's like Chia Pet.
*Inspiration: "Farscape."  Sorry, I thought it was cute.

Djanga - People will think we're talking about the pick-up sticks.  [Me: You mean Jenga?]  Whatever.
*Inspiration: Female version of Django, as in Reinhardt.

Eleven - Why not Twelve?  [Me: Eleven sound better.]  I thought you didn't like multiple syllables.  [Me: How many syllables would be okay?]  I thought you liked one.  [Me: How about "One"?] Okay.

Emily - It's too little-girly.

Emma - Same problem as Emily.

Erin - We don't have enough fucking Erins in this world?  (Sorry, Erins.)

Five - They'd think it was a what d'ya call it from "Battlestar Galactica"? [Me: A cylon.]  Yeah.

Fresca - How about "Martini"?  Or "Boone's Farm"?

Gail - No.  Gail is an ugly lesbian, not even a lipstick lesbian.  I'd like for my child to have the option of being a lesbian or not.  Not based on her name.

Ginger - It's a dog's name.

Gwen - We have a neighbor named Gwen.  You don't want her thinking we're naming a child after her.  [Me: We don't really talk to her.]  So she'll think it's really weird we're naming a child after her.

Helena/Helene - I don't mind Helene.  I don't like Helena.  One sounds elegant.  The other sounds stupid.

Iris - No!  Because that's the name of Chris Martinez's wife who he cheated on me with.  She's a bitch.

Jade - Mmmmmeh.  I don't really like it.  Why not Opal and Sapphire and Diamond?

Jane - That's okay.  It doesn't offend me in any particular way.

Janet - Sounds kind of old.  [Me: She won't be a baby forever.]  A teenager named Janet just isn't going to make it in the world.

Joan - Joan of the Jungle, Joan of Arc.  [Me: What?]  Maybe it's George of the Jungle, but he was dating Joan.  The only good thing about Joan is Joan Jett.

Karen - It's okay.  [Me: And?]  I cannot be expected to have a witty comeback for everything.

Kayak - No.  [Me: Why not?]  Don't be a moron.  [Me: Pause.]  I could go for Kaya.
*Inspiration: A guy I was friends with in college came up with this years ago, and I thought it was hilarious.

Kayla - I hate Kayla.  She's a whore.  A white trash, trailer trash whore.
*Inspiration: Character on "Days of Our Lives" in the early '80s.  Her appearance on the show actually catapulted this name from obscurity into the top 20 for several years.

Keira - I like Keira.  She sounds very fairly-like.

Kim - Not a very bright girl.

Labyrinth - Too hard to spell.
*Inspiration: We looked to a number of sci-fi/fantasy films, and the name alone was good here.  Dani also liked Kira from "The Dark Crystal," but it wasn't on the list when I was collecting her responses.

Lana - No.  For the very reason that you have to say Lana (nasal American "a") and Lana (soft English "a").  There is no pronounciation key that goes with it.

Laura -  That's fine.  No, you'll always argue with me about how it's said.  I'll always be saying it wrong.  [Note: Dani pronounces it without the "u" as Lara, which is a completely separate name, obviously.]

Loreili - (shakes her head.) Because that's just totally "Gilmore Girls."  Everyone would pick up on that and think we were total dumbasses.  [Me: They wouldn't.]  They'd get too excited about it and we'd have to say, "No, that's not why."

Lyra - It's like a Dr. Seuss character.  If they were twins we could name them Lyra and Lorax.  Save that for the next time around.
*Inspiration: "The Golden Compass."

Lyric - I like it.  [Me: Why?]  It's good.  It's lyrical.  (Pauses follow that thread.)  How about Cleft?  Like treble cleft.  Or Pick?  Or Tremolo!
*Inspiration: Shanna came up with this one.

Margerine - Why not Butter?  Would you name your child Butter?  How about Oleo?  Crisco?  All of the short-name baking products!

Marmalade - That's a cat's name.

Maura - I don't know.  I used to know a cook named Maura and I wasn't sure about her.

Myra - It's a fat lady.

Nova - That's a National Geographic series.
*Inspiration: No, it's not a Nat'l Geo series.  They're produced independently.  Actually, I was thinking of a comic book character (any FF fans here?) although this is what started me on the whole astronomy theme.

Ovum - How about Ovum?  We could call her Yolki for short.
*Inspiration: I tried shooting for biology-inspired names, but there aren't many good ones.  A few made it to the boys' list.

Rama - Like llama or drama or Ramen noodles.
*Inspiration: I had a huge crush in high school on a girl named Ramona, but I thought her name was gross.  I shortened in to make it more palatable.  This was maybe a couple years after I had read Arthur C. Clark's "Rendezvous With Rama."

Rena - I just don't like that name.

River - How about River and Kayak?  And Boulder?  [Me: How would Boulder fit in there?]  It's what's in the river that makes the rapids.
*Inspiration: I was thinking of the character that served as the McGuffin on "Firefly"/"Serenity," though Dani's first thought was of River Phoenix.

Robyn - It's birdy.

Salsa - You don't even like salsa.  [Me: But as a name?]  No, because you wouldn't like the kid either.

Samira - Too ethnic.  We're a bunch of white people, so it would look stupid.  [Me: We're just two white people.]  Oh, yeah.
*Inspiration: Had a college chemistry teacher with that name.  I think it means "success" in Arabic, but I've never looked it up.

Selene - No.  You have some stupid fantasy about Celine Dion.  That's you.  [Me: It's spelled completely different.]  I don't care.

Shawn - Not for a girl.

Sidney - I have just always liked that name and Sid.
*Inspiration: Probably because Dani was a fan of "Alias," although I didn't especially like the name.

Sonya - Too ethnic.

Stella - It has too much history with it.  You know, Sylvester Stallone.  [Me: WTF?]  He yells it.  [Me: That was Marlon Brando.]  Oh, yeah.  "Adrianne!"
*Inspiration: Short for "stellar" (as in pertaining to a star).  Another astronomy one.

Taylor - Too trendy.  [Me: I think the trend will be over by that time.]  Then we'll just look like we're late.

Thora - No.  Because Thor (a mutual friend) will think we're naming her after him.  And then Stacie (his wife) will get angry, and it'll turn into a big, ugly mess.

Tope - That's not even a color according to you.  [Me: So they have to be named something that's not a color?]  Sure.

Tumble - That's a verb.  You don't name your child a verb.  [Me: What about Trace? (Steve's brother.)]  I like Trace.  [Me: I mean Trace is a verb.]  His parents were just stupid.  (Sorry, Steve.)

Tyra - Tyra Banks?  [Me: That's the entirety of your response?]  Yes.

Valda - It's like "vulva."

Valeria - As in "malaria"?

Valley - No.  It evokes some sort of sexual connotation.  [Me: Like what?]  I don't know.  It's subliminal.

Willow - It's kinds of stupid.  [Me: You suggested it.]  I know.  I hate it.  It's too... weak.
*Inspiration: Dani came up with this, maybe because of "Buffy" but maybe because a friend of ours named her daughter Elora after the baby girl in the movie "Willow."  Another good one someone beat us to.


Copyright 2009 Alexplorer.
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