So he won't dress up...
I don't know
what it is with boyfriends who won't dress up. Their
girlfriend is willing to go out in the skimpiest dignity-impaired
costume and have a fun night out, while this guy won't put on anything
other than the same jeans and baseball cap (read: douche-bag) costume
he wears the other 364 days of the year. Girls, if that describes
your boyfriend, drop him.
Frankly, I find it insulting when someone shows up to a Halloween event
and won't play the part. It's a rude refutation of expectations,
the way one is expected to wear a tie if the invitation uses the word
"formal" or that you bring a dish if it's a potluck. You don't
show up empty-handed or deviating from the dress code. That's
bullshit. The rules apply to you the second you accept the invite.
Last year my friend Robin informed me that she was bringing a date who
"doesn't do dress ups" to our party. I thought about letting it
slide and just giving him shit about it when he turned up, but it just
bothered me too much. Here was some dick who didn't even
know me, and he already felt like the rules of decorum didn't apply to
dressing up. I'm dressing up my house, inside and out. My
partner and kid are dressing up. All my friends are dressing
up. It's Halloween. Someone who doesn't do Halloween
doesn't need to attend a Halloween party. You can do
better. Can't wait to see you, but don't bring that crap around
here if he can't handle one night in a costume.
She brought a different friend who dressed up, and the party was much
better for it.
Maybe I feel it more acutely than most of the population, but I'm
clearly not alone in this sentiment. My friend Liz noted on her
party invite "Those not in costume will be cooked and EATEN!!!" in a
preemptively aggressive (albeit humorous) attempt to discourage
non-participants. I'm considering adding a warning along similar
lines to my own invites in the future, something like, "Anyone arriving
without a costume will be immediately disinvited." I may just
throw eggs at them instead. That would be a way of dressing them
The crux of the problem is this: These folks are gawkers. They
come to take a look and don't bring a look to give in exchange.
They show up and stare, and yet they're too insecure to
contribute anything to the festivities. That's what you do when
you wear a costume: You contribute to the atmosphere. You
decorate for the party by decorating yourself. If you go down to
Oak Lawn in Dallas, everyone is out and about and enjoying the
spectacle they collectively brought to the table. Except for the
gawkers... who should just stay the fuck home.