So he won't dress up...

I don't know what it is with boyfriends who won't dress up.  Their girlfriend is willing to go out in the skimpiest dignity-impaired costume and have a fun night out, while this guy won't put on anything other than the same jeans and baseball cap (read: douche-bag) costume he wears the other 364 days of the year.  Girls, if that describes your boyfriend, drop him.

Frankly, I find it insulting when someone shows up to a Halloween event and won't play the part.  It's a rude refutation of expectations, the way one is expected to wear a tie if the invitation uses the word "formal" or that you bring a dish if it's a potluck.  You don't show up empty-handed or deviating from the dress code.  That's bullshit.  The rules apply to you the second you accept the invite.

Last year my friend Robin informed me that she was bringing a date who "doesn't do dress ups" to our party.  I thought about letting it slide and just giving him shit about it when he turned up, but it just bothered me too much.  Here was some dick who didn't even know me, and he already felt like the rules of decorum didn't apply to him.

I replied:
I'm dressing up.  I'm dressing up my house, inside and out.  My partner and kid are dressing up.  All my friends are dressing up.  It's Halloween.  Someone who doesn't do Halloween doesn't need to attend a Halloween party.  You can do better.  Can't wait to see you, but don't bring that crap around here if he can't handle one night in a costume.


She brought a different friend who dressed up, and the party was much better for it.

Maybe I feel it more acutely than most of the population, but I'm clearly not alone in this sentiment.  My friend Liz noted on her party invite "Those not in costume will be cooked and EATEN!!!" in a preemptively aggressive (albeit humorous) attempt to discourage non-participants.  I'm considering adding a warning along similar lines to my own invites in the future, something like, "Anyone arriving without a costume will be immediately disinvited."  I may just throw eggs at them instead.  That would be a way of dressing them up.

The crux of the problem is this: These folks are gawkers.  They come to take a look and don't bring a look to give in exchange.  They show up and stare, and yet they're too insecure to contribute anything to the festivities.  That's what you do when you wear a costume: You contribute to the atmosphere.  You decorate for the party by decorating yourself.  If you go down to Oak Lawn in Dallas, everyone is out and about and enjoying the spectacle they collectively brought to the table.  Except for the gawkers... who should just stay the fuck home.


Copyright 2011 the Ale[x]orcist.