Top 10 Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating
Is Better Than Sex
10. You're guaranteed to get at
least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and
go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is
to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person
who gave you candy.
6. The person you're with doesn't fantasize
you're someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't
last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one
thinks you're kinky.
3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning
and groaning.
2. You have less guilt the next morning.
1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU
CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!
Halloween Things
That Sound Dirty But Aren't
10. She's a goblin!
9. I'd like to get a little something in
the sack.
8. Let me see your bag.... OH! You're having
a great night!
7. Just get on your hands and knees and
bob your head.
6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins
on her porch.
5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you
see my Zagnuts.
3. Have your mom check it before you put
it in your mouth...
2. You scared me stiff!
1. He's got Candy spread out on the living
room floor!
Top 10 Signs
You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating
10. You get winded from knocking
on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the
candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your
bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!"
and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick
or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a
bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume
that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the
neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your
ex-wives live.
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