Jesus is the reason for the season

The season of Halloween, that is!

Yeah, I know some folks (read: Christians) seem to think Christmas is all about that Jesus guy, but they're wrong, of course.  Christmas has well-established pagan origins regarding everything from gift-giving to the tree itself.  Instead of picking on the Halloween, maybe Christians should embrace the one holiday with a tangible connection to their mythology.

See, whereas most folks think of George Romero when they hear the word "zombie," the first thing that comes to my mind is the New Testament, otherwise known as The Greatest Zombie Revenge Story Ever Told.  That's the one Tarantino would most likely produce.  Robert Rodriguez should direct.  No doubt about it.

You know the story, right?  Mexican carpenter starts getting the masses riled up.  He's dangerous, so the Man kills him and buries him in the desert.  But they couldn't keep him down.  With gaping holes in his flesh, he returns from the grave to seek revenge.  He's going to take over the world.  Here comes the Apocalypse!

To this day Christianity is a rapidly spread virus that jumps from one host to the next and turns its victims into raving lunatics.  "More brains!" seems to be the mantra here.  They'll devour yours next.

Lock your doors.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid.

Copyright 2008 Alexplorer.