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"Hello, Dominos? Can you send a historically accurate pizza to the middle of the Renaissance? And make it snappy before anyone catches me breaking character by talking on a cell phone." |
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"Let's play a game where we club one another over the head and see who loses consciousness first." |
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Stick-ups. |
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If I had to recast Star Wars, I'd start with these two. |
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The conversation on the phone the night
before went something like this:
COUPLE #1: You gonna dress up this year? COUPLE #2: I don't know. You? COUPLE #1: I don't know. You? COUPLE #2: Maybe. |
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If you're going... to San Francisco... |
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This Swiss Army character would like you to know he's versatile, but not a tool. |
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Neither parent wanted to claim the little iconoclast as their own, but they brought her along anyway because we're a family damnit! |
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I have no caption for fear he will eat me. |
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"Sorry, dear, but I'm afraid we're going to loose the kingdom to creditors if we don't start selling advertising space on those." |
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Legolas leaps into the fray! |
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The most awe-inspiring jig it wasn't. |
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"Starboard!" |
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The visual representation of a Mad Libs I did a few years ago. |
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"Dammit! I didn't make it on Blackwell's Worst Dressed list again!" |
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By medieval measures, she's just about middle-aged herself. |
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They call her Sideshow Boob. |
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Band on the run. |
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Project Run(a)way turns wayward orphans into snotty little princesses. |
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"Let's grab a turkey leg while I gets me land legs, matey." |
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Continue to Part V |