|Newsflash, shirtless horny guy: The means negate the ends.|
|"Yes, you're supposed to call us maids."
"Yeah, but we don't do windows."
|Alan Moore was right. A live-action version of The Watchmen can't help but suck.|
|Other famous drawings from this period include Da Vinci's helicopter.|
|Sorry. The sunglasses do not offset the fact you are drenched in Ren Fair.|
|Let's run a Google Fight on cleavage vs. bib.|
|"Okay, who wants to be adopted by a couple movie stars who deal with their baggage by accumulating kids with even more of it?"|
|It's a shocker no matter which fingers are displayed.|
|"According to the first aid guide, you're supposed to break them off, not pull them out."|
|Too young to drink legally, these girls are duped into paying to get hammered.|
|Anything can happen if you've got a long enough runway, enough speed, and some wishful thinking.|
|While I am most certainly free to point my camera and laugh, you exempt yourself from that privilege by showing up dressed like that.|
|This is how they had to multitrack the vocal parts way back when.|
|Pimpin' "Olde School."|
|The costumes weren't nearly as flamboyant as other drag shows I've seen.|
|PROFESSIONAL IN THE WORLD'S OLDEST: "Hey,
sailor! You wanna a date?"
NAIVE SAILOR: "Why, yes. How about 1886?"
|Yeah, but these harps go to 11.|
|Continue to Part II|